Ryan's Dive into '95 - Part 40 (10/1 - 10/7)
Bret wrestles a pirate (again!), Cactus delivers an all-time promo (again!), Hogan gets a moustache-ectomy, Kid and Razor battle for respect, and Steve Austin runs wild in ECW!
If you haven’t read it already, please check out my introductory article that explains what this series is all about. As a reminder, footage is sourced from the Goodhelmet 1995 Yearbook, unless otherwise stated.
How ya now?
Lordy, lordy, look who’s 40!
After a fairly busy last couple of weeks, things are much lighter this week. Even so, we'll still have a couple of matches from RAW, plus an honest-to-goodness decent Dungeon of Doom angle on Nitro, another legendary promo from Cactus Jack, Steve-a-mania running wild in ECW, and more!
Because it’s a light week, I’ll go back and review a match I missed from the RAW after WrestleMania XI. It’s a GOOD one.
Well…
OCTOBER 2nd
WWF Monday Night RAW
Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid - This one’s been brewing for a bit as we’ve seen in the last few articles.
Razor fucking YEETS the Kid out of the ring right off the bat. Back in, Kid gets some kicks after dodging Razor a couple of times, but soon leaps into the Sack of Shit for two. Kid soon gets a ganmengiri, but Razor launches him out of the ring on the pin attempt as Dean Douglas comes out and takes notes.
Kid ducks a lariat and hits a spinkick for two. In a reversal of what just happened, Razor ducks a spinkick and lariats Kid’s head off for the pin…
…however, the 1-2-3 Kid wants another match and slaps Ramon in the face! Razor clotheslines him in the corner and biels Kid to the middle of the ring. Razor does his abdominal stretch where he grabs the opponent's leg for leverage. Why haven't I seen anyone else do that?
Razor releases, then ties Kid's legs up and smacks him repeatedly in the head to fire him up. Kid SLAPS Razor as RAW ROLLS ON…
…and we're back with Razor manhandling the Kid. The Double Feature shows that Razor powerbombed the Kid (after catching a somersault off the top rope) for another three-count during the ad break, but the Kid wanted ANOTHER match. Ramon hits his second-rope back suplex and calls for the Razor's Edge as Jerry Lawler insinuates a business relationship between the 1-2-3 Kid and Ted DiBiase. Hmm.
Razor opts out of doing the Razor's Edge and mercifully pins the Kid with a small package instead.
Post-match, Razor and the Kid shake hands, but Kid tries a schoolboy roll-up for a two-count! Kid wants Razor to put him away with the Razor's Edge, but ends up offering a handshake after Razor refuses to give in. Razor accepts and they're totally best friends again!
**1/2 - This was more angle than match, but the action and story were pretty fun, and I dug the story they were telling and Kid’s insane bumping. Things appear to be peachy between the two Kliqsters…for now.
We now find out the results of the WWF's OJ Simpson poll. Yes, that was a thing. The WWF Universe has spoken, and OJ Simpson is NOT GUILTY.
Yes, the WWF, being the perennial relevance chasers they are, decided to poll their fans about the impending OJ Simpson verdict (which actually came out the next day). Man, if you weren’t alive during this time, you had NO idea how much the OJ Simpson trial saturated the cultural landscape. That shit was EVERYWHERE.
Each vote cost 50 cents, and the proceeds were set to go to The National Exchange Club Foundation for the Prevention of Child Abuse. However, when the charity found out about this poll, they were appalled that a brutal double-murder was being used as a fundraising tactic on their behalf and denied any knowledge of it. The WWF ended up taking all the heat for this, as they should.
Bret Hart vs. Jean-Pierre Lafitte - This was actually NOT on the original Goodhelmet compilation, but I wanted to review this one as I thought very highly of their In Your House 3 match eight days earlier. It’s a slow week, so why not? BONUS CONTENT!
Both guys slug it out in the corner to start with Lafitte getting the early advantage.
Lafitte continues pounding away at The Hitman, who tries to fight back but keeps getting cut off. Soon, Bret dodges a corner charge, and Lafitte tumbles to the floor. Bret then slams Lafitte onto the ring steps! Good lord.
We pick it back up with Hart clotheslining Lafitte off the second rope for two. Lafitte comes back with a huge stungun and a stiff-ass clothesline out of a hiptoss. Lafitte hits a headbutt from almost all the way across the ring, but Bret kicks out! Lafitte continues BUILDING MOMENTUM and hits a big corner splash, but Bret sneaks an inside cradle for two. Lafitte immediately lariats Bret down as RAW ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Lafitte hitting a legdrop, FRERE, for two. JPL lands a sidewalk slam and goes for a top rope legdrop…but Bret moves!
Bret tries a comeback, but Lafitte nails a flying forearm for two. They brawl on the floor, with Bret eating the steel steps as a result. Jerry Lawler screams for Lafitte to hit Le Cannonball, but Bret finally mounts a sustained comeback, hitting his usual array of moves. Bret hits the backbreaker and the second rope elbow for a close two. Lafitte catches an up-and-over with a rolling fireman’s carry for two! VOUS NE POUVEZ PAS VOUS ÉCHAPPER! Lafitte cuts off another Bret flurry with a back suplex, but LE CANNONBALL…is cut off with a superplex! Bret locks in the Sharpshooter and Lafitte gives it up!
***1/2 - This was a very strong 10-minute TV match and a worthy sequel to their stellar In Your House match, albeit not quite on the same level. Lafitte continued to have Bret’s moves scouted and actually dominated a good portion of the match, but Bret continued to be resourceful and patient, waiting for his opponent to make mistakes. They also beat the crap out of each other (and themselves) with some hard hits and stiff bumps. Great little match here.
WCW Monday Nitro
“Mean” Gene Okerlund brings Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart out to the ring for a chat. Hogan continues to wear the neck brace. ADDDAAAAMMMM!!
Hogan talks about hanging out with little Jason Pittman, a Hulkamaniac awaiting a double-lung transplant. Jason told Hulk to PUT THE BIG STINKY GIANT DOWN at Halloween Havoc. Hogan's so darn amped up that he wants to go backstage and rip The Giant apart, BROTHER.
Hogan leaves and gladhands the fans…but one little old lady tosses powder into Hogan's eyes!
The “fan” pummels Hart and Hogan with a cane! It's a stunt granny running amok! The Zodiac and The Giant join the party as the old lady is revealed to be The Taskmaster in drag! It’s the second time this year that a WCW heel disguised himself as a female to attack a babyface. The Giant rips off the neckbrace and twists Hogan's neck again! It’s like Chubby Checker's “Let’s Twist Again”, but with more baby oil.
Kevin Sullivan then SHAVES OFF HOGAN'S MOUSTACHE!
Fear not, Hulkamaniacs, because THE AMERICAN MALES come out for the save! They're immediately rebuffed by The Giant. The Nasty Boys try their luck and also get chokeslammed for their trouble. The Zodiac threatens to cut what’s left of Hogan's hair, like some sort of barber.
However, no further barbering happens. Bobby Heenan is in his glory on commentary, cackling with childlike glee at this development. This was goofy, but still a pretty good angle considering the Dungeon of Doom’s involvement. The Giant got to look like a beast by dispatching geeks with ease.
Oh, that match that was set up last week between Randy Savage and Lex Luger where Luger would leave WCW if he lost? Luger won that one via Torture Rack after The Giant ran in and chokeslammed Savage.
This week, RAW and Nitro ended up tied in the ratings, each scoring a 2.5. So far in head-to-head meetings, the WWF is up with a record of 2-1-1.
OCTOBER 3rd
ECW Hardcore TV
ECW World Championship: The Sandman (c) vs. Mikey Whipwreck - This is taking place in the Sportland Café in Middletown, New York. Before the match, “Superstar” Steve Austin hits the ring. He comes out to “Superstar” from the “Jesus Christ Superstar” soundtrack, which rules.
Austin calls the bar they're in “a complete shithole”, saying WCW “wouldn't take a shit in this building, let alone book a wrestling match”. He tells Sandman that since he's not Hulk Hogan, he can whip his ass. Sandman takes this as a challenge and shakes Austin's hand, presumably setting up a future meeting.
Steve calls Mikey a “good kid” but refuses to shake his hand as he's not on Austin's level.
We clip to Mikey hitting a hurricanrana, a superkick, and a plancha. We then jump to Sandman clobbering Mikey on the floor.
Sandman grabs a ladder and smashes it onto Mikey. We then cut to Whipwreck hitting a FRANKENMIKEY off the ladder! We clip to Sandman hitting a leaping ladder smash off the ropes onto a supine Mikey. Sandman then climbs the ladder, swings off a ceiling fixture (Joey: “What is that drunk doing?!?”), and hits a HUGE legdrop! Good lord!
We cut to Mikey hitting a FrankenMikey off the top rope and going for a ladder-assisted splash. Sandy moves, causing Mikey to fall onto the ladder. Sandman stumbles into the cover to retain! This was pretty much all clips, but what we got was actually pretty fun.
Post-match, Mikey smashes Sandman with the ladder and a Singapore cane as this feud continues.
We catch up with Cactus Jack. He explains that, after watching a 20/20 piece on wrestling in 1985 that questioned the legitimacy of pro wrestling and the toughness of its competitors (the infamous segment where “Dr. D” David Schulz slapped the shit out of John Stossel), he set out to make people respect professional wrestling, even if he has to sacrifice blood and bone to do so.
Jack discusses his injuries and bleeding all over the globe. He questioned if it was worth it after laying in a Munich hospital bed watching his ear get tossed in the trash because he “didn't know the German word for ‘formaldehyde’”. Professional wrestling will NEVER be respected, no matter how many teeth, ears, or brain cells he loses.
He encourages Tommy Dreamer to see wrestling for what it is: a way to make money, and walk into the warm embrace of World Championship Wrestling. He references Tommy's time in All Japan:
“Did Giant Baba hand you a dozen eggs and say ‘break these on Jumbo Tsuruta's head?’"
Another great line follows shortly after:
"I am but a failed experiment in human sociology."
He is disgusted that other people sacrifice themselves for him, like he's the “Patron Saint of Sick Sons of Bitches”. Jack references JT Smith’s falling on his face and the crowd chanting “YOU FUCKED UP”:
“Well, FUCK YOU! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! We're not a wrestling organization anymore; we're the world's biggest damn puppet show!”
Jack says he's nobody's stooge. The crowd will not control him; he will be the one to work the crowd. He sees saving Tommy Dreamer as HIS own personal salvation.
He implores Dreamer to consider going to WCW as not doing so is giving Jack a big ol’ stamp of approval on his eternal damnation. If he refuses, Jack says says he can and will hurt Dreamer, but it won't be in front of the ECW fans.
The Cane Dewey promo gets most of the (deserved) love, but this one has to be up there. It may even surpass it. You know a promo is killer when I use THREE block quotes. So many great lines, elements of truth, the right amount of emotion, just absolutely stellar stuff. Mick Foley promos in 1995 continue to be undefeated.
OCTOBER 7th
WWF Superstars
Vince McMahon brings out WWF Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels for an interview. Vince asks about the upcoming IC title match with Dean Douglas at In Your House 4: Great White North. Shawn makes school puns.
Shawn then basically admits to a teacher having a very inappropriate relationship with him. Ms. Kawakami Mrs. Robinson kept him AFTER SCHOOL and gave him HIGH MARKS, you see!
Dean Douglas HA HA comes out and says that Shawn’s final grade at In Your House will be an F! School puns!
Douglas leaves, and Shawn makes more lame puns and strips to close things out.
Fucking…woof. These guys almost had anti-chemistry together, and it just felt like guys trying to make school-related metaphors instead of cutting a wrestling promo. Watching this after the brilliant Cactus Jack promo is especially jarring.
Fun fact: In 1990, Douglas actually substituted for Shawn as part of The Rockers for house shows when the latter was injured.
OCTOBER 7th
USWA Championship Wrestling
We’re walkin’ in Memphis this week with clips from the Midsouth Coliseum of The Smoking Gunns (c) vs. PG-13 for the WWF Tag Team Championship. As PG-13 are the hometown boys, the Gunns are the heels here.
Wolfie D gets the hot tag and runs wild on The Gunns.
JC Ice tries a rebound forearm, but the ref gets bumped. Take a drink. Downtown Bruno (Harvey Wippleman) tosses powder meant for Wolfie D, but the latter ducks, thus Bart takes the powder instead! PG-13 lands a tilt-a-whirl splash onto Billy, but TRAVIS OF TEKNO TEAM 2000 dives off the top with an attack on JC Ice. Billy covers, but Wolfie breaks it up.
All hell breaks loose until the Gunns hit a back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Wolfie smashes Billy with a hubcap!
Ice rolls over for the cover, but both Travis and Troy run in for the DQ finish.
Man, I didn't think I'd get Tekno Team 2000 content in the actual Yearbook compilation. What a way to close out the week!
Since it’s a fairly light week for content, I'll break the timeline a bit and go back to review a match that I bypassed as it wasn’t on the original Yearbook compilation. There’s a few other matches I didn't cover that are somewhat highly-regarded, so I’ll probably do more of this in the future if we have any more non-busy weeks.
APRIL 3rd
WWF Monday Night RAW
WWF Women’s Championship: Bull Nakano (c) vs. Alundra Blayze - We head back to the first noteworthy “RAW After Mania” for this one. It’s weird to think of a time that the WWF dabbled in 90's Joshi to bolster their women's division. It didn't last, of course, but it's wild in retrospect seeing ladies like Nakano, Aja Kong, and Kyoko Inoue on WWF television.
Despite being the champion, Nakano gets the “already in the ring” entrance. She also gets the Orient Express theme music and is all like “fuck the hard camera”.
Nakano clobbers Blayze at the bell, but Blayze soon comes back with a headstand anklescissors (think Trish Stratus’ Stratusphere).
Nakano comes back immediately with a clothesline and a vicious hair throw. Another nasty clothesline and a legdrop get two, then Bull applies a brutal single-leg hold.
Blayze grabs the ropes, so Nakano goes for a corner choke. Blayze comes back with some twisting clotheslines and a spinning kick. A couple of missile dropkicks get two, but Bull sits down on a sunset flip for two. Bull grabs a lifting scorpion deathlock-like move.
Bull breaks it up and hits a piledriver for two, but Blayze knocks Nakano off the ropes and hits a plancha to the floor! Back in, Nakano catches a hurricanrana with a powerbomb for two, and gets a guillotine legdrop for another near-fall! German suplexes from Blayze get a couple of close twos, but Nakano dispatches Blayze to the floor. She looks for a suicide dive, but Blayze moves! Nasty splat from Nakano on THAT one. German suplex on the floor!
Nakano recovers and whips Blayze into the stairs. Nakano goes for a moonsault, but misses! Modified German suplex from Blayze gets the three and the title!
***1/2 - This was a FANTASTIC Joshi sprint from these two. Bull looked like an absolute beast while Blayze was very good with her comebacks and fighting from underneath. Big moves were busted out and huge bumps were taken. Awesome stuff crammed into just under 7 minutes.
Post-match, Blayze is attacked by the future Bertha Faye, looking much closer to her Monster Ripper persona. She beats the crap out of Alundra and “breaks” the new champ's nose with a snake eyes onto the turnbuckle. Having Blayze overcome a monster, only to be confronted by an even bigger monster, is a great narrative idea. Why didn't they stick with THAT instead of the Bertha Faye shit?
Between the title switch, a surprise debut, the final appearance of Well Dunn on WWF television *sheds tear*, and the big Shawn/Sid angle, this definitely felt like what future RAWs After Mania would be famous for.
A short week this go-round, but we got some fun action from Kid, Razor, Bret and Jean Pierre, and another all-time promo from Mick. Plus, killer bonus content!
NEXT TIME: NJPW vs. UWFi TOTAL WAR hits the Tokyo Dome! Plus, chaos on RAW, WCW angle development, and more!
Smell ya later!