Ryan Navigates '90 - #8 (2/3)
Boss Man turns to the side of good, and a whole lot of "WTF?"
EDITOR’S NOTE: Since my last post, the wrestling world lost Sid Eudy, aka “Sid Justice”, “Sid Vicious”, “Sycho Sid”, or just plain “Sid”. The man was so awesome that you only need to say one three-letter first name, and the ears of old-school wrestling fans would immediately perk up. He was one of the most prototypically “pro wrestling” pro wrestlers ever. Incredible look, amazing presence, ridiculous charisma, and an air of legitimate menace. People flippantly throw the word ‘aura’ around way too much today, but Sid had far more of that in the nail of his pinky finger than 99.9% of wrestlers had in their entire body. Everywhere he went, whether it be the Big Two, Japan, your local convention center, or “smart mark”-infested ECW, Sid had the fans eating out of his hand.
Sid LOOKED like a killer, and his promos were often unhinged in the absolute best way. Plus, he had some of the most entertaining squash matches ever committed to tape. I would watch Sid send pasty jobbers to the hospital all day.
Rest easy, big man.
Good day!
For the first time this series, we’re dedicating an entire article to one whole day. We have so much content from February 3rd that it took up an entire article. With the amount of wrestling that was on Saturdays at this point, don’t be shocked if we’ll have more articles in the future that only examine a single day.
For this slate, we get Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts, a legendary babyface turn, general insanity, and a TON of promos and video packages from the WWF, NWA, and both arms of the USWA.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 3rd
WWF Superstars of Wrestling
Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase - This one’s been heating up for a while, but especially over the last few weeks. DiBiase not only has Virgil with him, but Slick as well. Interesting.
Ted attacks Jake as he’s entering the ring to kick things off. The Snake ends up ensnared in the ropes, giving DiBiase license to pummel Roberts unabated. DiBiase tells Virgil to retrieve the Million Dollar Belt from the snake sack, but Virgil wants nothing to do with that. Jake frees himself and makes a quick comeback with a hiptoss and a kneelift, but DiBiase escapes a DDT attempt. DiBiase regains the advantage, but Jake fights back by repeatedly ramming his face into the turnbuckle. Roberts teases the DDT a couple more times, but DiBiase counters or escapes each time.
DiBiase confers with Slick, who then heads backstage. Jake goes after DiBiase, and they brawl at ringside until the Big Boss Man comes out and clubs Jake with the nightstick for the disqualification.
He cuffs Roberts to the top rope and retrieves the bag, then The Brother Love Show suddenly starts up as the baddies make their way up the aisle.
DiBiase gloats about his Million Dollar Belt and chides Jake for stealing it. Ted then crows about purchasing the best police protection money can buy, and Boss Man’s demeanor changes from celebratory to serious.
Boss Man is surprised to hear about the payoff, and Slick tries to talk his way out of it, saying it was a “donation”. Boss Man declares that to be poppycock (not in those words) and thought he was merely retrieving stolen property. DiBiase demands that Boss Man pull the belt out of the bag and hand it over, but Boss Man calls him a “fat face punk” and says nobody tells him what to do. The crowd is LOVING this. DiBiase accuses him of being afraid of the snake in the bag, a point emphatically refuted by Boss Man.
Boss Man pulls out the belt and tells DiBiase that he has to EARN IT. He then stuffs it back into the bag and returns it to Jake! Roberts is understandably reluctant to accept the assistance (a very nice touch on his part), but Boss Man eventually hands him the key to the cuffs and gives him back the bag while DiBiase loses his everloving mind.
Boss Man makes his way back and shoves Slick down before walking off!
* - The match was very short, but still pretty decent for the time allotted. However, the match itself was immaterial as this was all about the Big Boss Man babyface turn, which was AWESOME. This was very well-executed with solid motivation on his part, and the fans were REALLY happy to see it happen. Everybody involved played their roles well.
In preparation for the face turn, Boss Man had lost quite a bit of weight. He’s always been incredibly fleet of foot for a big guy, but dropping some poundage is a smart move for the turn as that will allow him to be even more agile, have better cardio, and be (at least a little) more sympathetic when he’s getting shellacked by the big baddies.
We pick it up with Hulk Hogan backstage, saying his insides are getting eaten alive because he needs to find out who the strongest force in the WWF is. Hogan recounts the showdown with the Ultimate Warrior at the Rumble and the incidental clothesline that almost “decapitated” him at Saturday Night’s Main Event (which Hogan deems a “cheapshot”).
Hogan then says the clothesline was an accident, then says he had nightmares about it. Hogan then swears to God (the “number one Hulkamaniac”) that if the Warrior’s power is darkness inherited from drinking “sweat from the Devil’s armpit” (ewww), that he will STRIKE HIM DOWN. He then asks what Warrior will do when Hulkamania and the Ultimate Challenge destroys him.
,..yeeeaaahhhhhh…
Not to be outdone, Warrior snarls and addresses HO KOGAN. He accuses HO KOGAN of interfering with him communicating to his Warriors. Warrior talks about not understanding challenges and Hogan eliminating him from the Rumble from behind. He claims that he paints his face to give his Warriors more space to hang onto him (?!?).
He says a bunch more words that don’t entirely make sense before we fade out.
Yeah, the promos from these guys in the build-up to WrestleMania VI are legendary for their sheer batshit insanity. Warrior’s promo is ridiculous, but Hogan’s was next-level bananas. We’re in for a hell of a road to WrestleMania, friends.
USWA Championship Wrestling (Memphis)
We join Dave Brown at the commentary desk with Jerry “The King” Lawler, who is garbed in doctor’s scrubs.
Lawler explains his pride in being a professional wrestler, then accuses Jeff Jarrett and Kerry Von Erich of taking steroids! Jerry explains the effects, both positive and negative, of the ‘roids (though he does leave out what it can do to one’s nether regions), then name-drops Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Sting, and the Road Warriors. He’s going to prove that they’re on the gas because he has a steroid testing device sent to him by his doctor, and URINE SAMPLES from Jeff and Kerry (“I got my sources”).
“Hey girls, don’t get excited. This is not a taste test.” Oh my GOD, dude.
Lawler then gets a quality zinger on Brown, asking him if he stayed up all night to study for a urine test. The King tests the samples as the machine emits a shrill noise when dipped into each jar. Methinks this isn’t an actual testing apparatus. Lawler threatens to take Von Erich and Jarrett out of wrestling to close out the segment.
Well, that was certainly something. The ‘taste test’ line was very out of pocket, and talking about steroids like that on television is absolutely insane given how prevalent they were in the business (and this was years before the infamous WWF steroid trial). I’m willing to bet that Lawler, who didn’t partake in drugs at all, had some real-life feelings about the subject that were reflected here.
We return to The King, who shows us an illustration of Dave Brown shooting a snowbird that he drew on one of those old “Color the Weather” sheets that young Americans would pick up from a McDonald’s counter and send to their local TV station.
They throw it to clips of the Jeff Jarrett vs. Billy Joe Travis Guitar on a Pole match we recently saw, specifically the ending involving Lawler and Kerry Von Erich. We then get clips of later on in that show, with Kerry coming out and daring Lawler to take him on. Travis sneaks in and El Kabongs Kerry with a guitar, and the heels assault him until Jarrett makes the save.
Back at the desk, Lawler again goes IN on Kerry, accusing him of being an idiot due to steroid use and comparing him to a caveman. I mean, Kerry’s never been the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but Jerry didn’t have to do him like that. Lawler plugs the upcoming Monday night tag match between the duos and threatens to beat Jarrett and Kerry within an inch of their lives.
We cut to a pre-taped promo from Jarrett and Von Erich. Jarrett runs down Travis and Lawler in a manner that he’s trying to portray as calm, but he’s obviously nervous as hell. As a result, this interview just feels rambling and endless. Jeff was NOT a good promo at this point, but he’ll get better.
Lawler responds by saying Jarrett dyes his hair and pumps himself up full of juice. We then get Kerry’s promo. He’s happy to be back and is feeling better than ever, then promises to take out Lawler and Travis at the Mid-South Coliseum.
A very simple, yet shockingly coherent, promo from the Modern Day Warrior.
NWA World Championship Wrestling
Jim Cornette welcomes us to the Louisville Slugger! Jimbo informs us that Woman has purchased the rights to this segment, then she comes out as Corny nearly goes full Tex Avery Wolf in terms of fawning over her.
Woman wants Ric Flair to come out and tell her “no”. The Nature Boy himself comes out and reiterates his desire to keep business and pleasure separate, once again declining her request. Woman asks him to look her in the face and say “no”, then says she’ll be watching Flair at the Clash of the Champions, front and center.
The intrigue is still there, but we should be getting a payoff for this angle soon as we’re dangerously close to “treading water” territory.
We now get a “The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly”-themed trailer for Clash of the Champions X: Texas Shootout! We see wanted posters advertising the matches, then some of the participants morph out of the posters to cut promos.
The Steiner Brothers accuse Doom of being cowards for hiding behind masks, while only Ron Simmons (ah, crap, spoiled it) rebuts. Kevin Sullivan directs western-flavored threats towards Norman the Lunatic ahead of their Falls Count Anywhere match.
The Samoan Savage is NOT intimidated by “Dr. Death” Steve Williams and accuses his sister of promiscuity.
I love how they translate his laugh. I would have been lost without it.
How do we top THAT? Well, with a RAP commercial for Wrestle War ‘90: WILD THING! Apparently, Sting, The Steiners, Ric Flair, and the Road Warriors will get together to do the WILD THING.
Honestly, I prefer “Great American Bash: Funky Cold Medina”. The rap was corny and silly, but I got a chuckle out of it.
Jim Ross checks in with the Four Horsemen ahead of their big cage match at the Clash. But first, feel free to take inspiration from this very large sign.
Arn Anderson says the Horsemen are a FAMILY and says someone’s going to the hospital. We’ll, he’d certainly be right, but not in the way he intended. Sting feels comfortable in the cage, then Flair says that you need to prepare to PAY A PRICE if you want to tangle with the Horsemen.
A short and sweet hard sell for the big Clash X main event.
USWA Championship Sports (Dallas)
Percy Pringle (the future Paul Bearer) throws it to a recap video of the Steve Austin vs. Chris Adams saga, a “student vs. teacher” rivalry that would certainly take some turns over the next several months. We see Adams re-introduce the fans to his prized pupil as “Steve Williams” (his real name), but Steve immediately corrects Adams and says his last name is now “Austin”. Austin sounds SO much different here, not sounding nearly as gravely as he would in later years.
We cut to Austin challenging Adams to a match, calling him a COWARD, then we get Austin assaulting Adams in the ring as the bell rings. Adams comes back, but Austin nails the Gentleman with a foreign object to get the pin.
Austin says he doesn’t need ANYONE, then we get another impromptu match between him and Adams, with Austin again attacking his trainer as he enters the ring. Adams fights back until Jeff Gaylord and Skandor Akbar hit the ring to get them some of the Gentleman.
The Austin vs. Adams rivalry is what most people remember from post-sale World Class, and for good reason. We are going to be seeing a LOT more of this feud over the next year.
Didn’t have enough Jerry Lawler in the Memphis section earlier? Well, you’re in luck because we get a pre-taped promo from him here. Lawler calls Dallas the “dump of the world” and runs down Jeff Jarrett and Bill Dundee for trying to convince the rednecks in Texas that they are top-tier stars.
Lawler accuses Jarrett and Dundee of begging the babyfaces in the locker room to interfere in the upcoming Jerry Lawler/Billy Joe Travis vs. Jarrett/Dundee tag match to prevent a colossal beating from the heels. Lawler implores Dundee and Jarrett to tell the faces to stay in the back on Friday night so it’ll just be two-on-two. The King doubts that they even have the GUTS to do that.
We take it to Percy Pringle, who is ringside with Kerry Von Erich in one hell of a fit.
Percy wishes Kerry a happy birthday, and Kerry jokes that he's turning 19 years old today. Kerry with the dad joke! He says that it’s been a good year, then confuses Pringle with Marc Lowrance, a former WCCW announcer. They look nothing alike.
The fans chant for their Oldsmobile-loving hero as Kerry talks about the Soultaker. Von Erich says that Soultaker comes to the arenas to stand in dark corners to watch him fight without letting him know that he’s there. What?
The Soultaker comes out for his retort as Kerry says that he is the biggest and toughest opponent he’s had. Kerry challenges him to a fight, then Soultaker clotheslines him down as he’s struggling to take off his shirt! Soultaker continues the beating before walking off.
Kerry’s promo was very much not coherent this go-round to say the least, but the Sportatorium faithful really didn’t care. They love that big, dumb, tragic animal.
We close off the week with some music videos. First, a “Dirty” Dutch Mantel video set to Willie Nelson’s “Nothing I Can Do About It Now”. Clips of him whipping and beating his opponents abound.
We then get a Chris Champion video set to “Wild Side” by Mötley Crüe. Champion’s hair continues to be otherworldly, and we get clips of him kicking ass interspersed with him dancing with his snake.
We end with Jeff Jarrett’s video, this time set to “Point of No Return” by Exposé. I gotta tip my hat to the sheer variety in music here, going from country to heavy metal to pop. It’s very odd that we’ve had two Jeff Jarrett videos so far, and neither of them were set to “Simply Irresistible”, his nickname and theme music.
This one is mostly clips of Jarrett wrestling Nick Bockwinkel and Curt Hennig among other action. A female pop group acting as the soundtrack to Nick Bockwinkel footage is a suitably bizarre way to close out a strange slate of content for this issue.
Now it's time for THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE!
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
In a joint press conference, Vince McMahon and Giant Baba announced another gigantic show set for the Tokyo Dome, this time on April 13th.
It was initially a joint show between the WWF and All Japan Pro Wrestling, but New Japan got involved. This was seemingly to not only help combat the Newborn UWF juggernaut, but to spite the NWA after Ric Flair pulled out of the February 10th Dome show.
NJPW, AJPW, AND the WWF working together was something not many sane people would have predicted back in the day.
WrestleMania VII will apparently be held on March 24th, 1991 at the L.A. Coliseum. Yeeeaaahhhh…
NEXT TIME: Everything goes pear-shaped for the NWA after a freak injury. Plus, more developments from Clash of the Champions X: Texas Shootout, some Newborn UWF action, and more!
Catch up on the rest of Ryan Navigates ‘90
Also, check out my other series!
Nice piece. I enjoy how you include USWA in here. Those territory style southern promotions are still a lot of fun to go back and watch and observe how they built interest in the week-to-week product with a simple formula of grudges.
Being who I am, I should not love Jerry Lawler so much, but I cannot get enough of the Southern Wrasslin nonsense that he's constantly involved in, both inside the ring and out. Never binge the stuff, but watching once per week (as God intended) I never fail to get a kick out of him.