Ryan Navigates '90 - #5 (1/20 - 1/21)
Come and get yourself a steaming hot bowl of RUMBLE-aya!
Good day!
I may need to call in sick today. I think I’m coming down with a fever…
…ROYAL RUMBLE FEVER!
We have a SUPER-sized issue today as I’ll have a lot of content from that PPV. Plus, we’ll have some more AJPW tag action with Tsuruta and Tenryu, Rumble build and hype, and a showdown between legends from the USWA.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 20th
AJPW New Year Giant Series 1990, Night 14
Revolution (Genichiro Tenryu & Toshiaki Kawada) vs. Jumbo Tsuruta & Isao Takagi - Much like six days prior, Tenryu and Tsuruta face each other in tag team action with younger roster members as their partners.
Takagi would later go on to be known as Arashi and spent much of his career in AJPW, WAR, and smaller Japanese promotions like Dradition, Apache Pro, and Tenryu Project. Ring of Honor fans may remember him for his Final Battle 2003 appearance, teaming with The Great Muta to defeat Christopher Daniels & Dan Maff in the main event.
Tenryu wants fellow ex-sumo Takagi to start with him. Tsuruta tries to hold the youngster back, but Takagi charges at Tenryu and clobbers him in the corner. Takagi puts him down with a stiff shoulderblock, but Tenryu fires back with a quick enzuigiri. Tenryu sticks and moves with strikes before tagging in Kawada. Dangerous K works over Takagi until Jumbo tags in. He hits a high knee on Kawada and slugs Tenryu on the apron! Tenryu takes exception, and him and Jumbo get into a peppy little scrap before things settle down.
Tsuruta and Takagi work over Kawada, with Tsuruta hitting some chops and Takagi dropping a leg for two. Takagi focuses on the arm before getting a dropkick for two. Back to the arm, then Tsuruta nails Kawada in the gut with a knee, causing him to collapse in pain. Tenryu doesn’t like that, so he charges into the ring and just lays into Jumbo with slaps. Him and Jumbo again have a super-heated exchange of brutal strikes with the referee nearly being caught up in the crossfire!
Kawada assumes control over Jumbo with corner kicks, then Revolution double-teams him before Tenryu hits a powerbomb for two. Kawada tags back in and pummels Jumbo with kicks for a two-count. Jumbo cuts him off and tags in Takagi, who takes over with a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Kawada escapes a chinlock with a jawbreaker, then Tenryu tags in and lights Takagi up with chops and kicks. Now Jumbo gets pissed and charges in to assault Tenryu!
Kawada piles on the kicks, but Takagi fights back with forearms. However, Kawada pelts Takagi with short headbutts, then Tenryu kicks him in the face a few times. A Tenryu lariat gets two, then he toys around with Takagi with kicks and an enzuigiri. Kawada checks in and hits his own lariat for two, then spikes Takagi with a piledriver for another near-fall.
Takagi halts a charge with a knee and tags Jumbo back in. He hits another knee to Kawada’s midsection, then slams him into his own corner, likely trying to bait Tenryu into a tag. Kawada kicks Tsuruta to stop a back body drop attempt and tags Tenryu in…and Tsuruta comes alive and beelines right to him! Tenryu catches a high knee and stun-guns Jumbo, then hits another enzuigiri! Jumbo weathers it and goes for a backdrop driver, but Kawada kicks him to stop it! Tenryu hits a lariat and heads upstairs. Jumbo intercepts and goes to slam him off…but Tenryu holds on for a pinning combination for two! Big boot and backdrop driver from Jumbo, but Kawada breaks up the pin!
The younger guys tag in, with Takagi felling Kawada with a big shoulderblock! Spinning heel kick gets two for Takagi, but Kawada catches him with a sunset flip for another close call. Tenryu tags in and punishes Takagi with kicks and stomps, then he kicks one of the seconds at ringside! I believe it might be Masa Fuchi, but I’m not sure. It’s likely that the attendants were not pleased with the abusive nature of Tenryu’s offense on Takagi. Tenryu and Kawada continue kicking Takagi into jelly, but Kawada loses him in a powerbomb attempt. Moments later, Kawada hits a flying knee for two, then Tenryu wallops Takagi with chops and kicks. Tenryu is REALLY letting him have it.
Tenryu leaps out and goes after more ringsiders as Kawada comes in and kicks Takagi some more. Tenryu smashes a chair against Mighty Inoue’s head, so the other seconds (led by Great Kabuki) have had ENOUGH of his shit and beat the starch out of him! That’s amazing. Takagi finally tags Jumbo back in, and he soon hits a lariat for two. After some reversals, Jumbo hits a big boot and a backdrop driver on Kawada for three!
Post-match, Tenryu, who’s busted open, picks up a table and knocks down a few more attendants! This is INSANE.
Jumbo leaps out after him, but things calm down as Tenryu heads to the back.
****1/4 - This was a pretty strong match to begin with, but Tenryu just kept getting more and more unhinged, and it got AWESOME as a result. The exchanges between Jumbo and Tenryu were pure fire, and the chaos at the end was magnificent. Takagi may not have been as sympathetic as Tiger Mask II, but god DAMN, he took a hell of an asskicking, especially from Tenryu who was in full ‘fuck you’ mode. Kawada wasn’t entirely *there* yet, but he did have some fun sequences, especially the ending with Jumbo.
WWF Superstars of Wrestling
Who’s ready for some Royal Rumble hard sell?!?
First, we have The Brother Love Show. He plugs the Brother Love segment set for the Rumble PPV with Sensational Queen Sherri and Sapphire, then introduces this week’s guest: WWF Champion Hulk Hogan!
The Hulkster mocks Love’s head bobbing and says he hopes he draws #1 for the Rumble match because he’s a SURVIVOR! He’s not gon’ give up! He’s not gon’ stop! He’s gon’ work harder!
He wants to prove he can beat 29 top WWF stars in the ring! He doesn’t want to throw them out, but he wants to stack them all on top of each other! I wouldn’t be surprised if that was something he pitched backstage.
Hogan teases a possible confrontation with fellow top babyface Ultimate Warrior, but Brother Love cuts him off and says that he’ll face Mr. Perfect at the end. Hogan says that Mr. Perfect would be the PERFECT candidate for the 29th elimination, then he rips off his shirt and finishes with the usual.
This was your garden variety Hogan promo, but he was still ridiculously over at this point. I imagine a lot of young fans got super-excited by the possible showdown with Warrior.
It’s time for the ROYAL RUMBLE REPORT! Hell yeah!
“Mean Gene” Okerlund reiterates that the Rumble is available all over the country on pay-per-view! Make that call to your cable provider!
Gene runs down 29 participants in the Rumble match. Why 29? Well, The Widowmaker (Barry Windham) was set to compete, but he was in the process of leaving before the show. Red Rooster was his replacement, but he wasn’t in this particular roll call.
We also get quickie promos from “Macho King” Randy Savage, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Hercules, Mr. Perfect (with The Genius), The Honky Tonk Man, Dusty Rhodes (with Sapphire), The Colostomy Colossal Connection (Andre the Giant & Haku), and The Ultimate Warrior.
Man, there’s nothing like Mean Gene running down the card to get you good and jazzed for a show. Oddly enough, though, only the Rumble and the Brother Love segment were mentioned. None of the undercard bouts were talked about.
We now jump to Jake “The Snake” Roberts in the ring after polishing off jobber Pete Sanchez. He’s about to unleash his snake (phrasing!) when Ted DiBiase and Virgil rush out. You see, Jake Roberts had taken DiBiase’s Million Dollar Belt and has it stored in the same bag as his snake.
After some financial persuasion, Virgil goes in to try to retrieve the belt from the sack, but he’s very much not into snakes.
After some teasing, Jake yanks the bag away, unleashing Damian and scaring the bejesus out of Virgil, with DiBiase’s heavy taking a hilarious fall out of the ring. Virgil hightails it as Jake stands tall with Damian and the Million Dollar Belt.
Just a fun little encounter to further the DiBiase/Roberts feud which had been going on since mid-1989-ish.
USWA Championship Wrestling (Memphis)
We’re with Jerry “The King” Lawler, who is “standing outside” the WMC-5 studio with his cinder block of a cellphone. He refutes a claim that there’s footage of Junkyard Dog pinning him in a match and alleges to have a VHS copy of the bout.
We now cut to Junkyard Dog himself. He’s excited to be in Memphis, the home of Elvis, but he’s here for the world champion, Jerry Lawler! JYD respects Lawler, but he’s in The Land of the Delta Blues to FIND A BONE TO CHEW ON! When he wins the belt, he promises to party with the youngsters in the ring.
A little rambly at times, but Junkyard Dog was a pretty fun talker, and this was effective.
Jerry Lawler immediately offers his retort. Well, he first chides Dave Brown for just now getting the camera on him, saying he can be replaced. He addresses JYD, threatening to crush him the way a monster truck flattens cars and send him to the junkyard.
Tomorrow, two o’clock at the Mid-South Coliseum (gotta mention the date, time, and location!), Lawler will throw lefts and rights until JYD is ready to admit that he is the true KING OF WRESTLING. Lawler throws some good old-fashioned racism in there (“And all the rest of your kind…”) before bringing it to a close.
Jerry’s been doing really well lately on the mic, but this was a miss. JYD actually had the better promo.
USWA claimed that Lawler’s promos were being shot live just outside of the WMC-5 studio because he needed better cell phone reception. In actuality, his segments were taped in advance as Lawler was in Dallas at the time.
We finish off Memphis with a music video for Jeff Jarrett, initially set to Bon Jovi’s “Born to Be My Baby”. We see Double J hopping in the shower and getting himself ready in the morning. It’s like American Psycho, but with more white denim and pink shirts.
Footage of Jarrett’s day is interrupted with match footage and DJ chatter. We then switch to INXS’ “New Sensation” as Jarrett shows up for a radio interview…and that’s it. This was definitely produced as a little something for the ladies.
USWA Championship Sports (Texas)
Jerry Lawler vs. Junkyard Dog - Yes, we actually get a match with these two in the Texas territory shown on the same day as the Memphis promos.
Lawler lays on the shtick to start, cowering in the corner, taunting JYD on the microphone, and flying out of the ring when the Dog advances. Lawler soon tries punching him in the head, but that doesn’t work because JYD’s skull is just TOO HARD. That was such an odd racial trope back in the day, where a lot of Black wrestlers would have thick craniums and no-sell head-based offense. We’ll see that in the Rumble later with Koko B. Ware.
Lawler again scurries out of the ring, and a ringside photographer goes arsehole-over-teakettle on the floor in the biggest bump of the match so far. A lot of young kids cheer JYD on as Lawler continues to do everything humanly possible to avoid human contact. Lawler finally goes for a wristlock, but Dog punches him. The crowd explodes as Lawler sells it like someone shot him in the face with a Railway Rifle.
Lawler complains to the ref about the closed fist as USWA ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with JYD on his back as Lawler hides a chain (take a drink), using it behind the ref’s. Lawler continues choking JYD with the chain, but JYD presses him out of the ring off a pin attempt. Lawler attempts a chain-assisted fistdrop, but JYD moves! Dog punches Lawler, causing him to lose his chain, and he blasts the King with punches aplenty. He drops Lawler with a massive headbutt and goes for the cover, but Terrence Garvin at ringside puts Lawler’s foot on the ropes!
JYD goes to accost Garvin from the apron, but Lawler knocks him off…and into Garvin! Dog decks Terrence, but Lawler attacks him from behind. They double-team JYD, resulting in a disqualification. JYD fights back and chases Garvin to the locker room.
** - I was expecting this to be WAY worse than it actually was considering JYD’s conditioning at this point of his career, but this was fairly enjoyable if you can stomach the typical Lawler formula. They didn’t do a whole lot, but they didn’t have to. One punch from JYD sent the crowd into a frenzy, and Lawler bumped, sold, and cheated like crazy to make the match worth something. I’m often awed with a lot of the more athletic, hard-hitting stuff in wrestling, but I’m also very impressed when you have these guys who can squeeze so much out of so little.
And, no, this Terrence Garvin is NOT the Terry Garvin from the infamous WWF Ring Boy Scandal. If you want to find out more about THAT, click here (just be aware that it’s a very sad, disturbing read).
SUNDAY, JANUARY 21
WWF Wrestling Challenge
Broadcast the day of the Rumble, WWF Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior graces “Mean” Gene Okerlund with his presence on the interview platform.
He paces around Gene and says some stuff about destiny. He lives by no rules or regulations, and sends a warning to 28 mortal beings. He then addresses the bald, orange elephant in the room, saying that Hulk Hogan has a force-field around him like no others, and to let the Hulkamaniacs and the Warriors decide!
Gene then asks about Dino Bravo and Canadian Earthquake. Warrior plans on absorbing their strengths into his own, allowing him TO PREVAIL! He beats his chest to close it out. The typical batshit insane Warrior promo, and they’re really trying to build anticipation for the possible Hogan/Warrior showdown.
WWF Royal Rumble
Taking place in the Orlando Arena in Orlando, Florida, this is the third televised Royal Rumble event, and the second on PPV. I’ve always been a sucker for Royal Rumbles. The older ones are definite comfort food for me. Hell, even when The Fed is flamin’ hot garbage and I don’t otherwise consume the product, I’ll usually check out the Rumble.
Of note, this was the last WWF PPV with Tony Schiavone on commentary. He’d leave the WWF shortly after and return to the NWA.
The Bushwhackers (Luke & Butch) defeated The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (Jacques & Raymond Rougeau) via pinfall after a Battering Ram. This wasn’t bad for a Bushwhackers match, but it was pretty lackluster for a Rougeaus match.
We clip (pun intended) to the end of Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. The Genius. Beefer applies the sleeperhold, but Genius fights out. The ref gets bumped out of the ring, and Beefcake gets another sleeper, being more successful this time.
Beefcake releases and struts around like a doofus, then grabs his scissors and snips off some of Lanny’s locks. Mr. Perfect runs in and beats down Brother Bruti, hitting a Perfectplex as the ref calls for the bell. Perfect and Genius attack him with a chair to the midsection before heading to the back. Howard Finkel announces that the match has ended in a double-disqualification.
The full match is pretty bad as it’s a lot of stalling and shtick. It does further set up the future WrestleMania feud between Beefcake and Perfect, though, and Genius did get a bit of comeuppance.
Submission Match: “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine - This is the culmination of a feud that had been running since late 1988 which saw Valentine “retire” former NWA champion Garvin, relegating him to referee and ring announcer duty. However, Garvin kept trolling Valentine in those roles so much that The Hammer asked for him to be reinstated.
Since May 1988, Valentine had been sporting a shinguard known as the “Heart Breaker” that he would use to increase the pressure applied by his figure four leglock. Garvin countered with his OWN shinguard, called the “Hammer Jammer”, to counteract the effects of Valentine’s hold. This is why we’re having a Submission match between these two. The stuff with the shinguards is really silly if you think about it from a real-world perspective, but it’s kind of charming in WWF’s internal logic.
Oddly enough, both guys get the “currently, in the ring” intro.
Valentine powders to start, so Garvin follows him out and makes him pay with some hard chops. That will be the theme of the match. Back in, Valentine begs off, but Garvin doesn’t give him any rope. Just leather. Garvin attempts a cover, which doesn’t count here. The announcers chalk it up to instinct, which makes sense. Garvin continues pounding away at The Hammer until Valentine kicks him in the gut. They exchange brutal chops, with Garvin coming out on top. They spar for a bit, with Garvin juking and jiving until Valentine puts him on his ass with a jab. Hammer takes over with a knee to the breadbasket and a headbutt to the abdomen. Valentine goes for his own cover, but soon continues with the pummeling.
They continue beating the fire out of each other, with a Garvin headbutt putting them both down. Valentine fights out of a piledriver, then sits on Garvin and poses on him, allowing Garvin to roll him up for another failed pin attempt. Valentine pelts Garvin with chops in the corner, but they soon collide into each other head-first for another double-down. Hammer turns his Heart Breaker shinguard around and looks for a figure four, but Garvin fights out and rolls him up again. Valentine puts him on the canvas with a blistering chop, then applies the figure four…but Garvin’s Hammer Jammer shinguard nullifies the effect! Garvin taunts him to REALLY rub it in.
Valentine releases, but Garvin small packages him for another errant pin attempt. Greg lifts him up for a Canadian backbreaker, but Garvin doesn’t give in. The Hammer drops an elbow, then both guys start grabbing at each other, with Garvin coming out on top with some overhand chops. Garvin pounds Valentine with some headbutts, then applies an Indian Deathlock. Valentine makes the ropes and bails to regroup, then lures Garvin into a leg attack on the apron. Garvin rolls out, and they again exchange some hard strikes on the floor. Garvin goes for a piledriver on the floor, but Valentine backdrops out of it.
Back in, Valentine hammers away in the corner, then Garvin soon gets himself caught in a tree of woe. The Hammer clobbers away, and both guys again collide head-first in the middle of the ring moments later. Jimmy Hart reaches in and pulls off Garvin’s shinguard!
Valentine applies the figure four without encumbrance. After some struggle, Garvin reverses it, only for Valentine to turn it back over and use the ropes for leverage. The Hammer releases the hold and resumes working over the leg. Valentine climbs up, but Garvin hops over and hurls him off. Garvin removes the Heart Breaker, then Garvin ties Valentine up in the ropes! He tosses Hart in, who manages to loosen Valentine, but Garvin blasts Hammer in the face with the shinguard! Garvin applies a scorpion deathlock, and Valentine gives it up! Rugged Ronnie wins!
***1/2 - The crowd wasn’t really into this one at first, but both guys won them over through the power of violence. Despite its flaws (some repetition with the collision spots), this was a lot of fun. Just give me two grumpy veterans beating the piss out of each other, and I’m a happy man.
Some will take issue with the pins being attempted in a submissions-only match, but thinking of these miscues as being instinctual does add a bit of realism to it.
On The Brother Love Show, Brother Love and Sensational Queen Sherri spend a lot of time making fun of Sapphire. She comes out and slaps Sherri, then we get a brawl with Randy Savage and Dusty Rhodes to set up a feud that would take up a good chunk of the year.
We cut to The Heenan Family, comprised of Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, Ravishing Rick Rude, Andre The Giant, and Haku, who is obscured by Sean Mooney.
Heenan says the Rumble is every FAMILY for themselves, and they’re all happy with the numbers they drew. Mooney presses Rude about what he would do if it were down to him and the other Heenan Family members, and everyone gets into a big spat about the whole “every man for himself” mentality of the Rumble.
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan defeated Big Boss Man via DQ in a bleh match after Boss Man was caught clubbing Duggan with his nightstick.
The Goodhelmet Yearbook joins the Royal Rumble match in progress, but I actually really like this Rumble match, so I’m just going to do the whole thing as a bonus! Get ready for a long one, folks!
But first, let’s hear from some of the Royal Rumble participants!
Dino Bravo hopes to get his hands on the Ultimate Warrior, while nobody is safe from The Earthquake!
Demolition reminisces about drawing #1 and #2 last year, then promise to beat everyone else up this year!
Bad News Brown promises to stomp out some cowardly cockroaches!
Dusty Rhodes pledges to go after “Macho King” Randy Savage, even if he has to be there alllll daaaaayyyyy looooong, daddy!
The Rockers will go after anyone, no matter if it’s the Powers of Pain, The Ultimate Warrior, or Hulk Hogan!
Hercules promises to fulfill his destiny, even if he has to fight friend or foe!
“The Model” Rick Martel’s beautiful face won’t be touched!
Tito Santana doesn’t care who’s in his way! Arriba!
Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka says stuff!
Slick says Akeem is the biggest and baddest in the Rumble!
The Ultimate Warrior rants against the 28 mortal men, calls out Hogan like he did earlier, and promises that his DESTINY WILL BE FULFILLED!
Jesse Ventura is wearing the HELL out of that Mickey sweater.
Back to the promos!
“Macho King” Randy Savage says he is NUMBER ONE and not even Dusty Rhodes or anyone else in the WWF can touch him!
Mr. Fuji promises to unleash the Powers of Pain!
Jake “The Snake” Roberts ponders the concept of the Royal Rumble, and says the winner will be the man who will sacrifice more than anyone else!
Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart goes berserk while Bret “Hitman” Hart tells him to chill the hell out!
The Honky Tonk Man is gonna play 29 hits, one every two minutes!
Hulk Hogan says to expect the unexpected, and nothing is more powerful than HULKAMANIA, BROTHER!
30-Man Royal Rumble Match - Hearing Howard Finkel go over the rules just feels right. The Rumble winner earning a WrestleMania title match wasn’t a thing until 1993, so this is purely for bragging rights.
In a wonderful bit of karma, Ted DiBiase, who bought the #30 slot last year, draws #1. He’d also draw #2 in the 1992 Rumble and #4 in 1993. I guess you really can’t buy luck. “The Birdman” Koko B. Ware is #2 and is immediately beset by DiBiase. Koko mounts a comeback, but he gets backdropped over the ropes for the first elimination. Marty Jannetty enters at #3 and starts off well, but after some back-and-forth, DiBiase ducks a crossbody, allowing Marty to splat onto the floor. Jake Roberts is #4, setting up an anticipated showdown with DiBiase.
Interesting note: both Marty and Jake had their theme song playing as they were coming out, but nobody else after that. Production was probably just “eh, fuck it”, likely feeling that it was a lot of effort. We wouldn’t actually get theme music for each entrant until the 1996 iteration. Also, in a change from last year (and most other years), the managers and seconds stay at ringside to cheer on their charges.
They brawl on the floor, with Jake getting the upper hand. Back in, Jake continues his dominance as the crowd is hot for The Snake. DiBiase blocks the DDT, and they continue to spiritedly go at it until “Macho King” Randy Savage hits the ring at #5. Jake fights both guys off, but the heels double-team him to take over. Roberts withstands abuse until Rowdy Roddy Piper hits the ring at #6! He explodes on Savage and DiBiase as this would be an incredible Coliseum-exclusive tag match back in the day. Jake and Piper take it to the baddies in an awesomely fun sequence, then they try to eliminate Savage.
Piper and Savage have a hot little sequence until The Warlord enters at #7, eliminates everyone else in the match, and wins the 1990 Royal Rumble! Well, not really, but a man can dream. He clobbers Jake and Piper as DiBiase and Savage work in tandem to try ejecting Jake. Bret “Hitman” Hart is #8 and goes after DiBiase! DiBiase accidentally slugs Savage as Hart goes after Warlord. Hart and Piper double-clothesline Warlord as everyone battles it out. Bad News Brown comes in at #9, and him being a misanthrope should serve him well. Bad News goes after Bret in a nice bit of continuity. Jake goes for a DDT on DiBiase, but Savage clotheslines Roberts out!
Piper almost eliminates DiBiase, but Savage saves. Dusty Rhodes runs in at #10 and immediately elbows Macho King into oblivion. Macho fights back and charges Dusty, but he takes a MONSTER bump to the blue mats via a back body drop! Savage is gone! Andre The Giant enters at #11 and immediately chucks Warlord out. Heenan and Mr. Fuji tease fisticuffs on the outside while Andre beats up Piper and Dusty.
The Red Rooster is #12 as Piper eliminates Bad News. Brown then pulls Piper out, and they fight to the back to set up THAT WrestleMania match. This brawl would be way better than the actual match it sets up. Andre beats on Rooster as I try to resist making crude jokes, then Ax enters at lucky #13. The Rooster flies the coop via Andre, but the Giant’s soon chopped down by Ax. Dusty and Ax double-team a prone Andre as Bret and DiBiase continue going at it. Haku enters at #14 and knocks Ax and Dusty off of tag partner Andre. Smash runs in at #15, and him and Ax immediately go at it with the Colossal Connection. DiBiase teases getting eliminated by Bret until Haku intervenes. Everybody continues fighting it out until Akeem enters at #16. The African Dream immediately goes after the other big fella in Andre.
Dusty eliminates Bret with a back elbow, then Demolition puts out Andre! They try to do the same to Haku, but Andre punches them off before leaving. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka enters at #17 and quickly eliminates Akeem! Wouldn’t have expected THAT one. DiBiase and Rhodes exchange blows as Dino Bravo is #18. Him and Haku trade shots until Snuka rams their heads together. Demolition attempts to toss DiBiase, but no dice. Canadian Earthquake enters at #19 and quickly ousts Dusty. Quake then tosses Ax before grappling with fellow ex-sumo Haku. Jim Neidhart enters at #20 and fights Earthquake. Everybody comes together to put Quake out! Smash and Anvil double-atomic drop The Million Dollar Man, then The Ultimate Warrior runs out at #21 as the crowd goes absolutely apeshit!
Warrior awkwardly ejects Bravo, then everybody pairs off in the corners. “The Model” Rick Martel enters at #22 and fights it out with Smash until Warrior intervenes. Anvil decks DiBiase with a hard forearm as Haku eliminates Smash via a thrust kick. Neidhard nearly eliminates Martel, but The Model saves himself. Tito Santana comes in at #23 and goes right after former Strike Force teammate Martel. Everybody fights it out until The Honky Tonk Man enters at #24. Warrior immediately accosts him, but DiBiase makes the save. Warrior and Martel eliminate Neidhart, then Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out to a HUGE pop. That ended an awesome 44+ minute performance from Ted.
Hulk Hogan enters at #25! Snuka is gone! See you, Haku! Warrior eliminates Santana and fights it out with Martel. Shawn Michaels enters at #26 as Hogan tosses Honky Tonk! Michaels exits stage left via Warrior, who then fucking YEETS Martel out! Hogan and Warrior are alone in the ring as the fans are absolutely losing their absolute goddamn minds.
They collide a few times like roided-up bulls, then do the famous criss-cross sequence ending with a double-clothesline. The Barbarian enters at #27 and picks at the corpses of Hogan and Warrior. Ravishing Rick Rude, who is #28, jumps the gun and enters the ring early to go after nemesis Warrior. After some brawling, Hogan clotheslines both Rude and Barbarian from behind as they were trying to oust Warrior, causing WARYAH to hit the floor! Warrior comes back in, clobbers Rude and Barbarian (but not Hulk, the guy who actually eliminated him), and runs to the back like a lunatic. Hercules enters at #29 and punches the bad guys. Rude and Herc go at it while Hogan tries to rid the match of Barbie.
Mr. Perfect rounds out the field at #30 and immediately goes after current rival Hogan. Barbarian boots Rude in error, then gets backdropped out by Hercules. We’re down to Hogan, Perfect, Rude, and Hercules. Perfect and Hercules both work to send Herc back to the showers, and the Minnesota boys work over the Hulkster. Rude accidentally decks Perfect, knocking him onto the apron. Rude goes to run the ropes, but Perfect errantly pulls the top cable down, causing Rude to tumble out. We’re down to Hogan and Perfect!
Hogan slingshots Mr. P back in, but Perfect makes a comeback. He hits the Perfectplex, but Hogan HULKS UP! Hogan slingshots Perfect into the corner, pummels him a bit, then hurls Perfect out for the win. Hogan wins his first Rumble, and is the first WWF Champion to do so.
****1/2 - Yep, still a top-shelf Rumble, maybe top five. Everybody remembers the electric Hogan/Warrior showdown, but the match is more than that. We got a tremendous performance from Ted DiBiase, great shifts from Savage, Roberts, Piper, and others, fun little storylines and callbacks, and strong pacing with minimal dead spots.
As well, this thing had a RIDICULOUS level of star power throughout, given the sheer number of former and future world champions, hall of famers, and indelible legends in the industry. This also previewed a LOT of the WrestleMania VI card, as the main event and several undercard programs were foreshadowed or furthered.
The only issue I can see was that Hogan didn’t need the win here. Warrior or Rude could have used the dub more, the former to further set up WrestleMania and the latter to bolster the main-event heel side of the card. Mr. Perfect would have been a decent candidate, too, though the house show feud with Hogan wasn’t exactly doing boffo business, so I can see why that outcome didn’t happen.
The PPV ended up earning about 260,000 buys, which was the lowest since the 1989 Rumble PPV, which netted 165,000 purchases. This wasn’t a great number by any means, but it would have been an absolute disaster if The Fed didn’t re-up with Viewer’s Choice.
Now it's time for THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE!
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
New Japan Pro Wrestling is looking to run a gigantic championship-filled card at the Tokyo Dome in an effort to break UWF’s attendance record. The prospective date is February 10th.
Planned for the supercard is IWGP Heavyweight Champion Big Van Vader vs. Riki Choshu, AWA Champion Larry Zbyzsko vs. Tatsumi Fujinami, and NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair vs. Keiji Muto.
Nooj also wanted to get Hulk Hogan on the card, but Vince McMahon was like:
The NWA is seriously considering bringing Kerry Von Erich in for the upcoming Clash of the Champions show in Corpus Christi, Texas. However, there are doubts about his recent drawing power and his reliability, so it probably won’t happen.
NEXT TIME: It’s Saturday Night’s Main Event with Hogan and Warrior teaming up against Perfect and Genius! Plus, plenty of action from the NWA, and a Guitar on a Pole match courtesy of the USWA!
Catch up on the rest of Ryan Navigates ‘90
Also, check out my other series!
I remember the Royal Ruble watching it at my neighbor’s house because my dad wouldn’t spend the money to get it. He only liked boxing. The event was amazing, one of the best for sure. What a lineup!!