Ryan Navigates '90 - #26 (4/21)
Austin vs. Adams gets VERY personal, food gets shoved in a guy's face, the future Michael Myers punches Jerry Lawler into a stupor, and Gary Young jobs to optical lenses.
Good day!
It’s yet another Saturday Special here at the Navigation, one that is absolutely replete with USWA content, both from Memphis and Dallas.
The big item today is a major escalation in the Steve Austin vs. Chris Adams feud. Also, get ready to have your fill of Jerry Lawler, and then some. Plus, Memphis gets some new rules, and Matt Borne is batshit insane.
SATURDAY, APRIL 21st
WWF Superstars of Wrestling
We’re starting Part 26 (and 2025) right with The Genius, who has a poem for us all!
Genius and his magnificent mane utilize rhyming verse as a means to convey a warning to Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, who had given Lanny more than one unwanted haircut over the last several months. Brutus needs to beware of the World’s Smartest Man! I guess the Beefer/Genius rivalry will continue here, likely intended to occupy Brother Bruti until his rumored Intercontinental title feud with Mr. Perfect.
We move on to another Rick Rude workout, this time with a speedbag painted with the Ultimate Warrior’s visage. I apologize for the nightmare fuel. Seriously, it looks like the next evolution of truck nuts.
Rude boxes away at said speedbag while stating that when they meet, he will come out on top. Bobby Heenan says that the Warrior is in SERIOUS trouble, then Rude promises to take the WWF Championship before giving the bag one last ka-pow.
Another good segment with Rude looking physically impressive, cutting a promo while keeping the speedbag going. The big issue here is that there’s been zero response from Warrior. The airbrushed speedbag is probably the most we’ve seen of WARYAH on WWF television since WrestleMania, which is another possible contributor to his issues with drawing power.
USWA Championship Wrestling (Memphis)
Ready for another installment of LawlerFest? Well, you better be, because we got plenty of Jerry “The King” Lawler today.
We start with the episode’s opening, with a rather vociferous pro-Lawler contingent in the studio audience today.
Dave Brown runs down today’s card before teasing an announcement about the “all-new USWA”. Lawler may not like it, but YOU, the fans, will. Eddie Marlin will be out later to clarify.
Through the magic of the Yearbook compilation, we skip right ahead to Eddie Marlin coming out to the studio as the crowd BOOS him, much to Jerry’s delight. Marlin literally slaps a “NEW” sticker over the logo on the desk to signify the NEW USWA.
We have NEW RULES in the USWA! All matches will end with a pinfall or “technical loss”, so no more disqualifications or draws. Every match will have a winner and a loser! Well, to be fair, disqualifications and count-outs will still happen, but they’ve been given a fancy new name!
Lawler takes exception to this, so Marlin points out that Lawler has saved his title by getting disqualified more often than actually beating his opponents. With the new rules, if Lawler does something that would have gotten him disqualified before, it counts as a technical loss, and he’ll lose the title!
There’s also a couple of new rules regarding outside interference. If someone interferes in a match for the first time, they’ll be fined $1,000, and the fine would double to $2,000 for a second offense. Egads, that’s, like, a couple of years’ pay from Jerry Jarrett. A third offense would result in a 30-day suspension. The competitor who benefitted from the interference would sustain a technical loss and lose a championship if applicable.
Also, if a match reaches its time limit, the referee will restart the match, and the first wrestler to take their opponent off their feet will be declared the winner. That’s actually a pretty interesting way to address draws, though it feels like a transparent way to keep guys from taking pinfall losses.
The new rules seem fairly intriguing, if only to see how creative Memphis can be when it comes to finding new bullshit finishes. I can’t see the new rules lasting too long, though. At least Dave Brown got some enjoyment out of Lawler’s annoyance, so that’s a plus.
Oh, hey, it’s Nathaniel Whitlock (Nate the Rat), dressed somewhat normally this time. After getting humiliated and clobbered all those weeks ago by The King, he comes out with a plastic tarp, which he lays on the floor in front of the desk.
Lawler asks “Brain Damage” what he’s doing, then Nate heads off-camera.
We then clip to later in the show, as Brown tells Lawler that the new rules are in effect RIGHT NOW. Nate returns to the desk with a tray of McDonald’s food and a pie. Nate wants Lawler to talk to him face to face, so Lawler warns him that if any of that food gets on him, he will beat him to within an inch of his life.
Nate agrees to the terms, so Lawler rises from his seat and crosses to the other side of the announce desk. Nate was initially under the impression that Lawler wanted him to be his manager, a notion laughed off by the King. In reality, Lawler wanted a gofer and a stooge. Jerry says he was a good one, and Nate agrees that he was happy for a while, at least until he was tasked with picking up some Rotten Ronnie’s.
While Nate was on the McD’s run, Kerry Von Erich had doused Lawler with a big bucket of water, and the King took out his rage on Nate upon his return. Mr. the Rat recounts the humiliation he endured while Lawler cracks wise about his mother. People on the street kept asking Nate for Big Macs and pies!
Nate can’t beat up Lawler, but he hoped to guide another wrestler to take the belt from him, that being Mike Awesome. Lawler insinuates that Nate’s managerial non-acumen resulted in Awesome going from main-eventing to curtain-jerking.
Nate HATES Jerry, and he wants to feel that rage again! Nate dons a hospital gown and dares Lawler to shove that Big Mac in his face! That was a very real sentence I had to type.
Lawler obliges, smushing the Mac of Big into Nate’s face. Next comes those golden McDonald’s French fries! Meanwhile, my fat ass is like, “what a waste of delicious garbage”. Lawler splashes him with some Coke, and Nate goads Lawler into slapping him in the face! Lawler does so, and Nate asks Lawler for the coup-de-grace: pie and milk.
Lawler indeed directs the chocolate pie into Nate’s face. I’m not trying to kink-shame or anything, but all this food stuff HAD to have been someone’s barely disguised fetish.
The King then douses Nate with the milk as requested. Nate is escalating to “Peter Puppy if Earthworm Jim fails to catch a few puppies with the giant marshmallow” levels of angry, but Lawler remembers one more thing from Nate’s ordeal: a good old-fashioned ass-kicking. Lawler shoves Nate around the ringside area and dares him to get into the ring until NITRON of all people comes out and hurls the King into the ring!
The future Sabretooth/Michael Myers grabs Lawler and gives him a pretty lousy punch that Jerry still bumps and sells huge for. Nate circles Lawler’s corpse and taunts him as USWA CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Sweet Daddy Falcone and Rockin’ Randy helping Lawler to the back, as he continues to sell that one punch from Nitron like death.
That was a rather unique approach to what was essentially setting Nitron up as the title contender at an upcoming Mid-South Coliseum show. The Nate stuff was morbidly fascinating, and you did want to see him get some form of payback on Lawler. It would have been even better in front of a crowd that wasn’t pro-Jerry.
The USWA tried their damnedest to get Nitron over, putting him in a 4-on-1 handicap match on TV and having Lawler sell his one terrible punch like he was decked by Popeye on the REALLY good shit (fresh spinach). However, he was a one-and-done challenger, losing to Lawler via DQ at the MSC on April 23rd.
Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. The Thriller - Lawler is still loopy after that punch from Nitron earlier, so Falcone and Randy walk him to the ring. The ref checks Lawler over and rings the bell. Great safety protocols there, USWA. It’s especially cruel to stick him in there with an absolute beast like THE THRILLER.
The King is still woozy, staggering around like he had a rough night on George Street in St. John’s. The Thriller takes over with an armdrag and a dropkick, then he gets a shoulderblock to send Lawler into the arms of his lackeys.
Lawler gets carried to the back and counted out. Under the new rules, it counts as a TECHNICAL LOSS, meaning the belt would have changed hands if it was on the line. The Thriller still does notch a win over the champ, though. I guess not even a King can resist the EEEEEEEEEVVVVVIIIIILLLLLL of THE THRILLER.
We cap off our look at Memphis with one last interview with Jerry Lawler. The King, who is STILL selling that single punch, calls out Nate Whitlock, but can’t muster anything else before being ushered away from the desk.
Heel manager Reggie B. Fine seizes the opportunity to cut a promo, putting over the team of Brickhouse Brown and Sweet Daddy Falcone. Falcone grabs the mic and states that him and Brown are the team of the ‘90s!
Brown plans on kicking “heiny in the year 1990”. That’s quite the line, though Falcone’s portion was generic, like a mishmash of promos lifted from better orators.
Lawler again dominated the show, but it continues to be entertaining television. The mileage that Lawler got out of, again, ONE PUNCH was incredible, bordering on ridiculous. The King sold it for nearly half an episode of television.
USWA Championship Sports (Dallas)
We start with Jerry “The King” Lawler, just because we just didn’t have enough of him in Memphis. He runs down the Dallas fans for cheering Jeff Jarrett. Lawler says that Double J should be the least popular wrestler in the business because the other workers dislike him.
He details their recent matches that ended in interference by the likes of Jeff Gaylord and the Dirty White Boys. Jarrett is nothing but a PUNK, and only another punk, like Billy Joe Travis, can like a punk. Punk! This Friday night, we’ll get Jerry Lawler and Ronnie P. Gossett vs. Jeff Jarrett and Billy Joe Travis, and Lawler promises that Ronnie will finish both Jarrett and Travis off himself!
Next up, it’s a commercial for Feather Weight Lenses, featuring Gorgeous Gary Young and a hammer. Who does he think he is, PAC?
Those WIMPY glass and plastic lenses shatter under the force of the hammer, but Feather Weight Lenses, with their sturdy, lightweight design, withstands the very best blows that Gorgeous Gary can muster. The spokesman calmly takes the hammer away from a dejected Young.
Get YOUR Feather Weight Lenses ONLY at Luck Optical today!
Wrestlers doing local commercials has got to be one of my favorite cinematic genres. Also, Luck Optical is still around if anyone in Fort Worth, Texas needs eye care.
Steve Austin vs. Frogman LeBlanc - “Frogman LeBlanc” sounds like a name JK Rowling would give to one of her French characters, but no, “Frogman” was a derivative of LeBlanc’s childhood nickname, “Frog”. Starting at age 35 (!), LeBlanc spent many years working in the US territories and even had a couple of appearances in WCW, primarily as an enhancement talent. Here’s a pretty fun interview that was done with him in 2016.
This is actually a rematch of Steve Austin’s first ever wrestling bout from September 1989. There, now you have “Frogman LeBlanc” in your back pocket the next time you go to wrestling trivia night at the pub.
Before Austin hops into the ring to face Frogman (hahaha, get it?!?), he chats with Marc Lowrance at ringside. Steve introduces the world to Jeanie, “the sexiest girl in America”.
Jeanie is happy to be here with a REAL man like Stunning Steve.
Austin: “I’m undefeated…am I undefeated”
Lowrance: “No, I don’t believe so, no.”
Austin: “Don’t worry about that, Marc.”
Austin will be the world heavyweight champion with Jeanie in his corner. He then grabs Ronnie P. Gossett’s chair for her to sit at ringside, leaving poor Marc without a seat. Austin is getting more and more comfortable with his promos, and it’s kind of neat seeing the evolution so early in his career.
The match starts proper with some lock-up action before Austin beheads LeBlanc with a clothesline to counter a hiptoss. Austin catches Frogman with a powerslam as “Gentleman” Chris Adams comes out and gets into a row with Jeanie, who ends up slapping him in the face!
Austin’s watching this from the ring and loving it as Adams storms back to the locker room. Back to the action, Austin hits a butterfly suplex, but Froggy comes back…until he eats a big boot from a blind charge. Samoan drop and a foot on the chest seal the win for Austin.
Post-match, Lowrance asks about Jeanie slapping Adams, to which she has no comment at this time. Austin also declines to comment, but they’re on their way to the top!
We’re ready to get to the next match, but Chris Adams heads back out and beckons Marc Lowrance over for a chat. He freaks out because Jeanie is Adams’ ex-wife, and Chris is NOT a happy camper!
Austin was Adams’ #1 student and even wears his boots, and Adams can overlook certain aspects of Austin’s character, but he’s gone TOO FAR this time! Chris pleads to matchmaker John Brozell to give him a match with Austin next week, promising to send Stunning Steve out on a stretcher.
However, Ronnie P. Gossett pops up from the commentary desk to stir the pot a bit. Brozell is sympathetic to Adams’ situation, but Austin is already scheduled to face Eric Embry next week. Adams calls Embry, his buddy, his BEST FRIEND to ringside, and a less-bearded Eric comes out with Percy Pringle in tow. Embry tells “Wide Load” to sit down before listening to Chris’ plea.
Embry hears Adams’ request, then asks Brozell that, if he gives his match with Austin to Adams, he gets a chance to wrestle Jerry Lawler for the Unified title. Gossett snatches the mic and calls Embry a big fat slob who hasn’t seen a gym, and there’s nothing he hates more than a BIG FAT SLOB. Gossett uses his capacity as Lawler’s manager to deny Embry’s request, so Eric challenges Gossett to get in the ring. Ronnie P. refuses as he’s “a manager with a heart condition”, then Terrence Garvin now comes out to defends Gossett’s honor.
Eric rips into Garvin, telling him to take his “big silk panties” and get out. Garvin unleashes some zingers from the first page of the “Beginner’s Guide to Fat Jokes” on Embry, and tells him that he couldn’t beat GARVIN, let alone Lawler. Embry claims he can beat Beauty with one arm tied behind his back, so Garvin IMMEDIATELY leaps at the opportunity and challenges him to a match this Friday night, with the stipulation being that one of Eric’s arms is literally tied behind him.
The Adams vs. Austin and Embry vs. Garvin contests are set, and Eric pats himself on the back for keeping his cool. Seconds later, he chews out a cameraman again for telling him to take it home, then promises to watch Adams’ back during his match with Austin. Adams says that he’s the one who brought Embry back to wrestling (gee, THANKS, Chris), then screams threats at Steve Austin. Embry again yaks at the camera to close the segment out as he just HAS to get the last word.
This had the makings of a fun “parade of talkers” segment, but Embry’s general presence takes it down several notches.
I swear, I don’t mean to be overly cruel when I write these reviews, but God DAMN, I find him insufferable, smug, and whiny. Again, him going after technical workers makes him seem like a giant Karen. He’s horribly miscast as a babyface.
Garvin’s jokes were crap, but he was still a pesky little shit that you’d want to see get his ass kicked. Adams was GREAT here, being appropriately steamed with Austin bringing his ex-wife into things. That’s incredible hater energy from Austin. Gossett was a quality shit disturber with some good lines.
Circling back to Jeanie, her and Adams were a real-life couple many years prior but were never actually married. They just added the “ex-wife” aspect to REALLY spice things up for the angle. Jeanie did, however, marry Billy Jack Haynes so she could stay in the US, but they divorced within a couple of years.
Interestingly enough, she would go with Austin to WCW about a year later under the Lady Blossom moniker and the pair would be married from 1992 until 1999. Of course, she would be famously credited for giving Austin his nickname while he was struggling with creating a new identity for himself in his early WWF days.
After wanting to transition away from the Ringmaster gimmick, Austin was looking for a fitting name for his new 'cold-blooded killer’ persona. Steve was faced with some pretty dire options, like “Chilly McFreeze” and “Ice Dagger”, but Jeanie told him one day to drink his tea before it got ‘stone cold’. The proverbial light bulb went off, and the rest was history. Could you imagine how different the wrestling landscape would be if Steve Austin was rechristened as “Chilly McFreeze”?
Anyway, this would be where the Adams vs. Austin feud transitioned from “teacher vs. student” to something far more personal and heated. We’ll continue to see this storyline over the course of the project, and it’s pretty incredible.
Alright, let’s get back on track here! We join Kevin Von Erich vs. “Maniac” Matt Borne in progress. Both fellas are babyfaces at this point, and this is a tournament final for a shot at the Texas title held by Kevin’s brother, Kerry. This was filmed the day prior and, like Kevin, Matt Borne is also wrestling barefoot for some reason. Maybe sportsmanship? Or someone stole his boots?
Borne is trapped in a hammerlock, then Kevin takes him down with a body scissors.
Borne eventually fights out and lights Kevin up with chops until Von Erich hits a rebound crossbody for two. Borne barely escapes a backslide, then they both bonk heads after a blind charge. Kevin tries to roll Borne up, but Matt sits down to block, grabs a handful of ropes, and steals the pin (eventually, after referee Bronco Lubich takes about a year and a half to get into position). Not bad from what was shown, but not much to really get excited about.
We head back to the live show, with Marc Lowrance getting a word with Matt Borne, who cuts an appropriately psychotic promo about his run through the tournament. He ran through Billy Joe Travis and his FRIEND, Kevin Von Erich. It’s not a sport anymore; it’s a QUEST! Borne is absolutely unhinged here, screaming about being so happy to wrestle Kerry Von Erich that he’ll need a plastic surgeon to remove the smile from his face!
He will walk away the champion next week NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES and promises a fight. Kerry Von Erich comes out wearing a shirt that looks like it came from the Baskin Robbins business casual line, like it was their company golf shirt that was gifted to their corporate employees in lieu of a Christmas bonus. He blasts Borne for using the ropes against his brother. Borne is one of the greatest wrestlers the country has ever seen!
Borne wants a FIGHT, but Kerry brings up his late brothers David and Mike to remind Borne of their long friendship. Kerry says he loves Matt like a “(bleep)in’ brother”, while Borne loudly explains that himself and Kerry grew up in this business and both guys (and their dads) knows that you have to do what it takes to come out on top.
Kerry says that Borne was locked at home watching “Tough” Tony Borne tapes and got all wacky. Huh? Borne says that his old man can whip Kerry’s old man, and that his mom is better-looking than Kerry’s! Shots fired! Kerry calls Matt’s dad a cheater, so Borne tries to goad Kerry into the ring for a scrap. Kerry will not fight him as that will end their friendship, but they will WRESTLE next week. Kerry walks away while Borne continues to shout at him from ringside.
Kerry still comes off as a likeable doofus but was 31 flavors of “all over the map” here. Borne was AWESOME, though, with his amazing energy and general insanity. He didn’t go full heel yet, but you know that turn is coming. He embodied “toxic positivity” to a pathological degree. I’ve seen people compare this to Bo Dallas’ “BO-LIEVE” character from mid-2010’s WWE, but turned up to a demented degree, and I can see it.
Watching this stuff from Borne, you can tell why he was THE perfect guy to play the initial heel version of Doink the Clown.
We end the coverage with who else but Jerry Lawler. He gets a music video set to Joan Jett’s rendition of AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”. It’s a pretty decent cover.
We get clips of Lawler battling Jeff Jarrett, King Cobra, Dutch Mantel, and Kerry Von Erich, among others. Lots of chain action and cheating is shown, which fits in with the choice of song, and the clips of the action were pretty good. The Mantel match looks particularly intense.
THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
Things are looking promising for the buddy cop show “Tag Team”, starring Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Rowdy Roddy Piper as there’s been some positive buzz after the pilot.
Sadly, ABC would end up nixing the show before the first actual episode could be taped. Man, that’s rough. Even “Cop Rock”, a MUSICAL police procedural, got a full season.
The reason why Shane Douglas is no longer in the NWA? He didn’t want to lay down for Mean Mark Callous’ heart punch finisher, so he pitched a fit backstage until the company fired him.
That’s…rather on-brand for him.
In positive news, Magnum TA now has some feeling in his impaired hand thanks to spinal surgery decompressing some of his vertebrae.
Paul E. Dangerously signed a one year, $120,000 deal, but only for television announcing.
Scott Steiner inked a new deal as well, only because he would have been fired if he didn’t.
NEXT TIME: The Intercontinental title tournament concludes, another battle of the Expresses in the NWA, and Shawn Michaels takes on the Million Dollar Man!
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I had never heard of that Ventura/Piper show (I guess since it never made it to air). Man, ABC blew it!