Ryan Navigates '90 - #19 (3/24-3/30)
"LOOK INTO MY EYES, HO KOGAN!"
Good day!
We’re not far off from The Grandaddy of Them All, WrestleMania VI. As such, we get multiple doses of Hogan/Warrior absurdity this week with another round of promos AND a contract signing! Be still, my heart.
Plus, Flair puts the Ten Pounds of Gold on the line against longtime rival Ricky Morton, Z-Man and Flyin’ Brian get a measure of revenge against the Midnight Express, Eric Embry and Percy Pringle battle Devastation Incorporated, we get some USWA Dallas in-ring competition, and more!
SATURDAY, MARCH 24th
WWF Superstars of Wrestling
We’re coming at you from Sacramento, home of the world’s oldest milk processing plant! We see Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura, this time dressed as the Ultimate Warrior.
Vince calls him out for picking Hulk Hogan last week, but Jesse says he “reversed himself”. That’s a lot of flip-flopping there, Jess. What are you, a politician?
Hey, guys! It’s another round of Hogan/Warrior promos!
We start with WARYAH, as he tell HO KOGAN that all he’s ever experienced is THE DARKNESS! The same darkness that HO KOGAN now sees, where he cannot see his own reflection.
The Warriors smell this, HO KOGAN, and they stand in the light. In that light is their path in reaching their ULTIMATE DESTINY! Warrior looks into that light with no fear, while HO KOGAN looks into the darkness filled only with fear. WARYAH must take HO KOGAN into HIS world, HIS darkness, where he can never return. Warrior will take everyone places that HO KOGAN would never go!
Those that stood with film over their eyes will now see clearly that you, HO KOGAN, had no choice. You had to surrender to the power of the Ultimate WARYAH!
Wow, that was still rather ludicrous, but not as brain-meltingly deranged as usual. I could actually understand what he was going for. Plus, he didn’t tell his opponent or fans to commit suicide, so that’s a plus!
We flip it over to Hulk Hogan, BROTHER. Him and his Hulkamaniacs have had it up to HERE with all of Warrior’s “Frankenstein talk”, MAN! Dude, you’re one to talk.
He’s tired of hearing Warrior talking about injecting the Hulkamaniacs with poison that will turn them to the darkness and make them run from the light! Hogan talks about January 23rd, 1984, where he won the WWF Championship.
He says that Ultimate Warrior will be a GHOST! At WrestleMania VI, where Warrior finds out WHERE THE POWER LIES, he will be placed alongside all his Warriors, who will be reaching up to the light from six feet of darkness.
The Hulkster is the greatest WWF Champion ever and will prove it after WrestleMania VI! Hogan definitely veered towards the ridiculous and hypocritical here, but I did enjoy the “THIS IS WHERE THE POWER LIES” callback. Warrior somehow had the most coherent-ish promo of the two this time.
Thankfully, there’s only a couple more rounds of promos left before we get to the match. The build has been REALLY weird, but they really didn’t need much more than “big dumb musclehead superhero babyfaces clashing” to sell the match.
NWA Worldwide Wrestling
Jim Ross chats with Ole Anderson and The Minnesota Wrecking Crew II, a couple of large masked men. Jim asks if they’re related to Ole, and Anderson immediately rebuffs.
All everyone has to know is that the MWCII are what the Steiner Brothers have to contend with. Ole puts over the Steiners’ college credentials, but says there’s a difference between collegiate and professional wrestling.
There’s also a difference between Horsemen and Anderson philosophy and the philosophy of everyone else. Rick and Scott want to be sportsmanlike and “nice” (what Steiner matches has HE watched?), but there’s no place for that in the pros. Ole won’t stop until the tag belts are around the waist of the second iteration of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew.
Another fairly menacing promo from Ole, but his new team doesn’t necessarily feel like much more than fodder for the Steiners before a more important duo can take the fore.
The Minnesota Wrecking Crew II would be Wayne Bloom and Mike Enos, the AWA’s Destruction Crew. We actually just saw those fellas last time in that AWA elimination tag. Per Dave Meltzer, the NWA borrowed the team from Verne Gagne, but with the provision that they wear masks as Verne didn’t want to have his top team seen doing jobs on another company’s TV.
NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ric Flair (c) vs. Ricky Morton - These guys have always had top-tier chemistry, so I’m expecting high quality here. This is your weekly reminder that the NWA is brought to you by ROOS!
Morton grabs a headlock to start and hangs onto that thing for dear life, at least until Flair backs him into the corner. Flair tries some grappling of his own, but Morton escapes and goes back to the headlock well, clamping on despite Ric’s myriad attempts to break it. The announcers (Terry Funk & Chris Cruise) explain that Flair has been focusing his training exclusively on Lex Luger’s power game, so he’s ill-prepared for the smaller, faster Morton.
Flair breaks it by going to the corner again, but Morton gets some slaps and punches in on the Nature Boy. Ricky continues his dominance with a dropkick, and we return to the side headlock. Flair again goes to the corner and fires off a chop, but Morton rapidly overtakes him with a hurricanrana and a dropkick. Back to Headlock City we go, but Flair quickly slithers to the floor. However, Morton again socks Flair and rolls back into the ring as Naitch gathers his bearings.
Flair yanks Morton to the floor, but Morton again gets the upper hand with fists and some ringpost action. Back in, Flair tries an inverted atomic drop, but Morton dodges and punches him again for a two-count. Morton side-steps a drop-down and continues thwarting any attempt by Flair to generate offense. Flair powders and takes his time getting back in as the match is pretty much 100% Ricky.
Flair actually strings together an offensive after a kick to the guts, hitting some punches and chops in the corner. That is short-lived, however, as Morton gets a small package for two before raining down the punches. Flair tries to blindside Morton but he runs into a fist to put him out again. An incensed Flair goes for a chair and tosses it in, but Morton snags it and dumps it back to the floor.
Morton again blitzes Flair, sending him back to the floor with an Irish whip into the corner. However, Flair catches Morton with a necksnap on the top rope and blisters him with chops. Flair drops a knee and desperately holds onto the pinning combination, but Morton keeps kicking out.
Flair converts that into a knucklelock, but Morton kips up and powers through some chops. Morton starts heating up, but Flair goes to the eyes and tosses him to the floor for some chops and a snake eyes on the guardrail. The fans are absolutely RABID for Morton as Flair blasts him with chops and rights. Ric hits a back suplex, then he starts to work over the knee as he often does. Morton fights back after a kneebreaker and soon counters a Flair axehandle with a punch to the belly and a dropkick. Now MORTON applies the Figure Four! Finisher theft!
Flair makes the ropes before long, but Morton counters a hiptoss attempt with an abdominal stretch that morphs into a cradle for two. Sunset flip is attempted by Morton, but Flair sits down, grabs the ropes, and gets the three to barely retain!
**** - Flair’s excellent in-ring year continues with another gripping TV match. This was quite one-sided, but the match was extremely well-wrestled with all kinds of nice touches and storytelling elements (Flair working the hell out of that pin attempt and the early headlock stuff really stood out here). Plus, Morton had the crowd thoroughly behind him right until the end. You can tell that Flair loved wrestling Ricky because he always gave him so much, and that was again the case here.
You also have to credit the announcers, as they did an excellent job conveying why Flair was having that kind of trouble with Morton.
NWA World Championship Wrestling
Jim Ross throws it to footage of WrestleWar ‘90, specifically Sting getting a huge pop in his first live appearance since the knee injury. We then get the Stinger himself joining JR on the interview platform. Jim asks about his rehabilitation, and Sting does therapy every day, starting with mental therapy. He throws darts at Ric Flair’s face each morning! He talks about his physical therapy, riding his stationary bike and all that good stuff.
JR asks about Flair stating that Sting will be a shadow of his former self when he returns. Sting admits that he won’t be the same when he comes back…
…but he’ll be WILDER, STRONGER, FASTER, and definitely BADDER!
He’s ready to get in Flair’s face! WOOOOO! Next week, we’ll get footage of Sting’s rehabilitation.
The Midnight Express (“Sweet” Stan Lane & “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton) vs. Zan Panzer & Bob Cook - Zan Panzer sounds like:
A terrible 70’s prog rock band
A Sega Saturn game where you ride a dragon
A member of Lynyrd Skynyrd
The newest NXT prospect
Something you say when you can’t remember the word, “Zamboni”
But no, it’s actually Brad Anderson, son of original Minnesota Wrecking Crew member Gene Anderson. He spent many years in smaller territories, such as Portland and Puerto Rico, when he wasn’t doing enhancement work for NWA/WCW. He actually got in some hot water in 2019 after shooting on an indie wrestler during a match.
Bob Cook was mostly famous as an enhancement talent for NWA/WCW and the WWF. He actually had a match just this year, teaming with another legendary jobber in George South in a losing effort against fellow olds Ricky Morton and Tommy Rich. That show (SuperStar Wars Wrestling on April 20th, 2024) featured a main event that contained CW Anderson, Lodi (yes, the sign guy from Raven’s Flock in WCW) and The Barbarian. The show taking place on 4/20 makes that much more sense.
Lane and Eaton are carrying the United States Tag Team Championship belts that they stole from Flyin’ Brian & The Z-Man. Jim Ross on commentary explains that the Midnights are being fined $1,000 per day by the NWA until they return the belts to the actual champions.
Eaton and Panzer start us off, with Panzer actually getting some rights off before making a shambles of a sunset flip that still gets a two-count. Bob comes in for some hiptosses, but Lane blind-tags in and blasts him with a clothesline. The Midnights hit a drop toehold-elbow combo, then Eaton hurls Cook to the floor for some belt-related humiliation from Sweet Stan.
Lane tags back in, but Cook gets a sunset flip for a quick two. Eaton tags in and has his way with Bob in the corner, then Lane comes in for some kicks. Panzer tags back in and immediately takes an awkward bulldog from Eaton and a double flapjack for three.
Not really a good squash as there was some awkwardness from Panzer out there. Beautiful Bobby seemed off, too, but some of that could have been Panzer being out of position for some spots.
The Midnights don’t have long to celebrate, however, as Pillman and Zenk fly into the ring, eject the heels, and reclaim their tag belts to a sizeable pop.
A quick, hot little angle that justifies the segment’s placement in the Yearbook compilation. It’s a shame that the angle didn’t really continue beyond this as there was so much meat left on the bone.
According to Meltzer, the company dropped the angle because they didn’t want any stories related to injuries to internal anatomy, such as the trachea. That is a very odd stance since Mean Mark Callous used a Heart Punch as a finisher at this time, so take that reasoning with a grain of salt.
USWA Championship Sports (Dallas)
We get footage of Medicine Man (Chris Youngblood, not Sean Connery) and Gary Young of Devastation Inc. double-teaming Eric Embry, while Skandor Akbar gets into it with babyface manager Percy Pringle (the future Paul Bearer).
Young holds Percy in place for Akbar to wallop him with a metal slug, busting him open.
Embry eats a spike piledriver as Devastation Inc. continues their abuse until a few babyfaces (namely Dustin Rhodes, Jimmy Jack Funk, and Matt Borne) run out for the save.
When then cut to Akbar and Young cutting a promo on Embry. Akbar is sick of his ugly face, then challenges Embry and Pringle to a match against himself and Young for next Friday in Dallas!
Akbar threatens to literally dogwalk Pringle with a choke chain, then states that it’s all over for Embry. He claims that Eric was in the insane asylum during his time away as the interview wraps up. This leads to…
Gorgeous Gary Young vs. James Rapp - That is certainly quite the haircut for young Mr. Rapp here. Wrestling needs more skinny jobbers with bad hair.
Young pounds away at Rapp and stomps him into jelly…until Eric Embry comes out and grabs the mic.
Eric says that Young hurt Pringle bad, then disputes Akbar’s claims that he was in the nuthouse, though he should have checked into one to get the General out of his mind. Pringle is part of Embry’s family, and Young’s in the *Archer voice* DANGER ZONE right now! Eric heads into the ring as Rapp… just leaves. Embry rains down the punches on both guys until Young takes him out from behind.
The heels continue the assault until a bandaged Percy Pringle comes out with a cowboy boot in hand! He fights off both guys as the faces stand tall. That was surprisingly badass of Percy.
Marc Lowrance talks to Embry and Pringle, with Eric accepting Akbar’s earlier challenge. YOU DON’T TOUCH FAMILY, AKBAR!
Pringle tells Akbar that he’s GOING DOWN on Friday!
This was some really good stuff, even if Embry doesn’t do it for me at all. Sorry, but I find him annoying and shrill. Even with the limited promo time, Percy was great here. I wouldn’t expect this particular character to be a strong babyface manager. A very good angle overall.
“Superstar” Bill Dundee graces us with a pre-tape to address Chris Youngblood. He says that when he would watch John Wayne movies, he would enjoy it when Wayne would beat “his kind” up. Jesus, dude.
They have a match coming up, and Dundee says that Youngblood’s got as much chance at beating him as his ancestors did of beating John Wayne. Youngblood is a great athlete, but Dundee hopes to prevail when they clash one-on-one. Another day, another promo with good old-fashioned racism.
We now get a music video for Dundee, set to Duran Duran’s “Wild Boys”. This uses a lot of the same footage as his prior “Gypsies on Parade” music video. I still want to see that match with Nick Bockwinkel. Dundee also clobbers guys with a big piece of wood.
I liked the “Gypsies on Parade” video more overall as it better captured the vibe that I get from Superstar, but this was also pretty good.
MONDAY, MARCH 26th
WWF Prime Time Wrestling
WWF President Jack Tunney oversees a contract signing for Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, because why not wait until less than a week before WrestleMania to make things official?
Tunney explains the history-making “title vs. title” stipulation, then says that the competitors and their lawyers looked over the contract. It’s weird to imagine the Warrior character having legal counsel. The Ultimate Lawyer?
Hogan talks to Warrior about the darkness, and the light of the prayers, the training, and the vitamins as he puts pen to paper. Hulkamania is still the strongest force in the universe!
Warrior in street clothes and a ponytail is simply ridiculous. He addresses HO KOGAN, talking about how the title belts represent why there are followers, and why there are leaders such as them. The belts are receptors of their power.
We are then treated to absolutely insane close-up shots of each guy staring down the barrel of the lens as Warrior yammers on.
LOOK INTO MY EYES, HO KOGAN!
YOU SEE NO REASON FOR QUESTIONS! YOU SEE NO ANSWERS! “There is no reasoning to the thinking of the Ultimate Warrior”, which is about as true a statement as he could have ever said.
Warrior piles the belts on top of each other as he will absorb the power and unite the titles at WrestleMania VI, HO KOGAN. Hulk then reminds him to actually sign the damn contract. This was more campy nonsense, but I was HOWLING at the close-up camera shots.
We don’t have much going on the rest of the week, so we fast-forward the Navigation’s tape reels to Friday.
FRIDAY, MARCH 30th
USWA Challenge (Dallas)
Billy Joe Travis vs. “Handsome” Jimmy Valiant - Again, Jimmy’s entrance is super-fun. He plants one on the ring girl and the referee.
After the bell rings, Billy Joe sings a bit, then gets pissed when Valiant makes fun of him. Travis gets into it with the fans, so Valiant heads out to grab an older female from the front row and gives her a smooch as the crowd erupts.
Valiant then runs into the crowd, then sneaks up on commentator Marc Lowrance and kisses HIM. Lowrance sells it like death.
The camera misses Valiant kissing Billy Joe (with Lowrance implying that Terrence Garvin is jealous), then we actually get CONTACT with a couple of hiptosses from Handsome Jimmeh. Travis bails for a Garvin hug and back massage, then Garvin tells Lowrance that he probably has rabies now from Valiant.
Back in, Travis tries (and fails) to rally the fans behind him. Valiant then corners Travis and hip-thrusts at him, which Travis sells magnificently. He then hip-thrusts towards Garvin, who loses his shit as USWA CHAMPIONSHIP SPORTS ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Valiant putting his scarf on the ref’s head, then he chases Travis around the ring.
Travis backs Valiant into the corner, but misses with a punch, leading to more taunting. After a punch fake that leads to an eyepoke, Valiant grabs a wristlock, complete with hilarious facials and yelping from Travis.
Valiant yanks some hair to hurl Travis, then him (and the crowd) deny it when the ref asks. Tremendous. Billy Joe breaks free with an eyepoke, then we get some jabs to take Valiant off his feet. Travis continues the advantage with a backbreaker for two, then does some bad push-ups before missing a huge elbowdrop.
The Boogie Woogie Man fights back with some punches, then thwarts an interference attempt from Garvin. An angered Beauty runs in for the DQ, giving the match to Valiant. The heels beat down on Handsome Jimmy until Jeff Jarrett and Bill Dundee run in for the save.
**1/2 - Y’know, if I watched stuff like this many years ago, I would have totally eviscerated it because of the excessive bullshit and lack of actual wrestling. However, I’ve softened up over time and have really started to appreciate the charm of these Southern shtick-heavy matches, as long as the stupid bullshit is entertaining.
This one was actually quite fun to watch. Valiant looks rough, but he still has that weird charisma that gets the people behind him. Travis’ stooging was tremendous here, he sold Valiant’s goofy shit well, the crowd hated his (and Garvin’s) guts, and his brief spell of offense was pretty good.
Jeff Jarrett & “Superstar” Bill Dundee vs. The Stud Stable (Robert Fuller & Brian Lee) - Despite the Stud Stable being broken up and feuding in Memphis, everything appears to be hunky-dory between the two in Dallas.
The Studs come out to Whitesnake’s “Still of the Night”. You know, I think it’s time for a MUSIC BREAK!
You ever hear the Halestorm version? It's a pretty good cover.
Double J and Fuller start off…well, no. Dundee replaces Jarrett and backs Fuller into a corner, resulting in the Tennessee Stud complaining about a hairpull. Dundee ducks a Fuller punch, causing him to wallop his partner instead, and Fuller rolls out to collect himself. Jarrett tags in and starts working over the arm, illegally switching out with Dundee behind the ref’s back a couple of times to piss off the heels.
Fuller escapes the hold as Lee tags in. Double J starts to work his arm, but Lee escapes and performs a leapfrog. However, Jarrett stops short on a second one and socks him, then gets a crossbody for two. Lee clobbers Jeff for a brief advantage, then we get some back and forth that ends with more double-teaming from the babyfaces on the arm. Jarrett hits a couple more armdrags (decent bumping from the big man) before tagging in Dundee as USWA CHAMPIONSHIP SPORTS ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Superstar hitting a top rope elbow for two, then landing some jabs on his much taller opponent. Jarrett tags in, resulting in a very spirited exchange of fists that results in Jarrett getting the upper hand (and a shot on Fuller). Fuller and Lee have a hashing-out session on the floor, with the veteran dressing his younger teammate down.
Back in, Lee endures some more babyface offense until he fights out of a side headlock from Dundee (with Fuller grabbing some hair from the apron). Fuller tags in and beats the tar out of Superstar, and Brian Lee checks in to do the same. Dundee crawls and evades Fuller, but the Tennessee Stud puts a stop to that and tags in Lee for more punishment. Dundee counters a back body drop with a kick, then crawls around again, this time successfully dodging both guys and it’s HOT TAG JARRETT!
Jeff lets the fists fly and hits a HUGE dropkick on Lee. Lee holds Jarrett in place for a loaded boot from Fuller, but Jarrett moves! Lee takes the full force of the boot, and Jarrett covers him for the win!
*** - This was a rock-solid formula tag with a fun story. The babyfaces got a lot of shine, outsmarting the heels at nearly every turn, and the Stud Stable were good, hateworthy foils. Lee did the lion’s share of the in-ring work and wasn’t bad, and Fuller was outstanding with his heeling.
Post-match, Fuller accosts his partner and shoves Lee around. Brian goes to walk away, so Fuller clubs him from behind and the beatdown is ON. Lee fights back with some fists, so Fuller heads to the hills, and Lee gives chase. So the team is broken up for REALS this time, guys!
Now it's time for THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE!
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
Mike Awesome started in USWA as a babyface to feud with Jerry Lawler. We’ll be seeing Mr. Awesome during the course of this series.
The most recent Budokan show for Newborn UWF wasn’t a complete sellout, a first for the shoot-style outfit. This would be the beginning of the end for this iteration of the UWF.
The NWA continues to be hell-bent on breaking up the Midnight Express, and the latest word is that they’re leaving when the contract expires in May.
It didn’t take long for Akio Sato to start missing shows for the WWF. As a backup, The Fed is enlisting Paul Diamond, Pat Tanaka’s Badd Company tag partner from the AWA, to be Sato’s backup.
Diamond would later replace Sato full-time in the Orient Express as Kato.
The Red Rooster has given his notice and will fly the coop when his contract expires.
NEXT TIME: It’s the last stop before WrestleMania VI, with last-minute hype galore! Plus, Joel Goodhart’s TWA makes their Navigation debut!
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