The Wrestling Society Xperience - WSX Episode Six (3/13/07)
Ring announcer magic, high pants, emo stuff, and explosions. Oh, and wrestling.
Wrestling Society X - Episode Six
Bret Ernst and Kris Kloss recap the Ricky Banderas/Vampiro situation, then we peer in on Lacey outside the building. She’s waiting for Vampiro to arrive so she can get his remarks. We don’t see her the rest of the episode.
Jack Evans vs. Scorpio Sky
While doing his usual announcements, Fabian Kaelin somehow turns a cloth into a cane, complete with super-cheesy lightning effects. RING ANNOUNCER LORE.
This came about after Sky’s promo last week. He’s looking to upend Evans to prove his superiority to Matt Sydal, whose only loss thus far was to The Prince of Parkland in the first episode. It’s kind of an interesting coincidence that everyone Sky’s faced so far would have a run in All Elite Wrestling. Good Charlotte joins the boys at commentary and pretty much never shut up for the entire show.
After a bit of grappling, Evans hits a ridiculous springboard spinning kick, then follows with a 450 plancha to the floor! Back in, Sky evades a springboard 450 and lariats Evans’ head off, then hits a nice corner backbreaker for two. Evans comes back with a missile dropkick and a flying knee for another near-fall, followed by a standing moonsault for another two. Sky catches an Evans moonsault with a cutter and applies a dragon sleeper
Evans makes the ropes, then soon front-suplexes Sky off the ropes. Evans lands a 450 (instead of his usual 630) for the pin! The 450 earns the QUIZNOS SLAMWICH OF THE NIGHT!
The Take: Sky had a pleasant showing here, looking crisp in his offense and counters. Jack fared well, but he’s treading water at this point. He continues to rack up wins, but guys like him and Sydal were likely not going to penetrate the “spooky nonsense” barrier and challenge for the WSX Title anytime soon.
The Vibes: Fairly strong.
We catch up with Los Pochos Guapos backstage. Kaos is now rocking his own pair of ridiculously high pants.
Aaron Aguilera tells him that he needs to focus on the mamacitas, but they walk in on Disco Machine asking a couple of ladies if they want to touch his (disco) ball.
Los Pochos chase Disco away, but Kaos is not interested in the girls. He’s tired of getting the crap kicked out of him and is frustrated with how things are going. Aguilera challenges The Filth & The Fury for next week and agrees to leave the mamacitas at home and the cervezas on ice. He even agrees to disband the team if they lose next week, which Kaos is happy with. With his grievances addressed, Kaos leaves with the ladies.
Backstage, we catch up with That 70’s Team in their themed dressing room. Disco Machine says that D.I.F.H. are as lame as “the Ford administration and pet rocks combined”. Joey Ryan slathers himself with baby oil. This was just…bad, especially Disco's acting.
We now catch up with D.I.F.H. in THEIR dressing room, which looks like a 45-year old mom’s bedroom. Tyler Black acts all intense and ragey while Jimmy Jacobs does up his eyeliner and eats Quiznos. That sounds like a Mad Lib, but no.
That 70’s Team vs. D.I.F.H.
It only took six episodes for Do It For Her to make it to the main MTV broadcast, but here’s the first real in-ring dose of the future Seth Rollins on a national television broadcast.
Ryan and Disco attack Black and hurl him out of the ring (with a crazy bump from Tyler) while Jacobs is busy flirting with a lady at ringside. They hit Jacobs with a double-gourdbuster, but Black lands a huge springboard double-clothesline and runs wild on both guys. He hurls Jacobs into each opponent, then D.I.F.H. lands a doomsday Frankensteiner on Ryan! That’s a very hard move to hit cleanly. Black presses Jimmy and tosses him onto Disco on the floor, but Ryan shoves the ref into the ropes to thwart a springboard.
Ryan takes a hit of his inhaler, then we get YET ANOTHER “Joey gets his trunks pulled down spot”, because the universe needed more of THAT. Ryan thwarts Kiss to Kill (D.I.F.H.’s finisher that I forgot the name of when I reviewed their other matches) and spears Black through the ropes. Disco hits Jacobs with a powerslam off the top for the pin.
The Take: This was a good showcase for D.I.F.H., with some fun double-teams and great athleticism from Black. Jacobs being used as a projectile by Black is tremendous. Ryan and Disco were competent workers, but the shtick is actively grating at this point.
The Vibes: Mild, thanks mainly to D.I.F.H.
We cut to footage of Team Dragon Gate in a small room getting tortured by Sakoda. He drank their water and spit it into their food. Rude!
We cut back to D.I.F.H.’s dressing room, where Black is angsty about the loss. Jacobs has a plan, though. He whips out his acoustic gee-tar and tells Black to let out his emotions. Black says he’s sore, he’s angry, he’s hurt, he’s old, he’s tired, and he works with fuckin’ children. Well, maybe not so much those last few.
Jacobs says some touchy-feely stuff (with flower effects on the screen), and Black continues to be ANGRY that they lost to HIPPIES! Black grabs his electric guitar and death-metal grunts off-screen. OK, that was actually pretty funny. I can see the emo stuff getting old after a while, but at least it’s inherently entertaining because of the dynamic and Jacobs’ brilliance.
Fabian is in the ring and appears to introduce the next HIGH FLYING, HIGH ENERGY MATCH, but Ricky Banderas comes in and throttles him before he can fully introduce a match that was never advertised or booked in the first place.
He forcibly ejects Kaelin from the ring and calls out Vampiro for burning his face. Vamp comes out oozing black stuff from the mouth, but 6-Pac attacks him from behind. The heels double-team Vampiro in the ring…but YOUTH SUICIDE hits the ring…
…
…
…see, I don’t give a fuck, either.
The announcers make a big deal out of it despite him not doing much more than getting blown up in the pilot episode. Suicide gets speared immediately by Banderas and tossed out. Ha!
Vampiro and 6-Pac brawl out of the WSX Bunker™ (with Vampiro no-selling a garbage bin to the head) while Banderas and Youth Suicide fight on top of the set. Banderas throws Suicide off the top of the Bunker™ and through some exploding tables!
Banderas spits up blood to close out the episode, because of course he does. This whole deal was just weird.
NEXT TIME: Matt Sydal vs. El Hombre Blanco Enmascarado and Luke Hawx & Alkatrazz vs. Trailer Park Boyz!