Ryan's Run Through '91 - #2 (1/5)
Don't forget to peel the skin off your chicken!
Good day!
We waste no time with our first Saturday Special of the year, and it’s LOADED. An interesting look at the AJW midcard starts us off, then we have our first check-ins with the WWF and WCW. There’s Royal Rumble build, Ted DiBiase continuing to be an asshole, and another match in the Flyin’ Brian/Rip Rogers rivalry.
We then close off with a couple of high-quality bouts from USWA as they return to the Dallas Sportatorium.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 5th
All Japan Women's Pro-Wrestling
Kyoko Inoue vs. Mika Takahashi - This one comes to us via the magic of handheld fancam.
Kyoko assails Takahashi before the bell, but Mika fires back with a headscissors to send her to the floor. Back in, Takahashi fights off a Boston crab while the young girls in the crowd chant. We get some creative armwork by Takahashi, but Inoue fights out and hits a dropkick before wrestling her way into a Boston crab/half-crab.
Inoue turns that into a grapevine, then into a bow-and-arrow that’s quickly broken up. Kyoko maintains the edge, applying a Canadian backbreaker that ends in a standard backbreaker for two. Despite resistance from Takahashi, Inoue gets a modified Romero Special that turns into a bridging pin for two.
Takahashi catches Inoue with a small package for one, then fights out of a bodyscissors with headbutts. Mika continues her comeback with clubbing blows, but Inoue fights back with Mongolian chops. After an Irish whip goes awry, Inoue hits her second-rope back elbow onto Takahashi’s face for two.
After a respite on the floor, Takahashi re-enters and immediately catches the wrath of Kyoko. Inoue tests the pliability of Takahashi’s spine with a camel clutch.
She turns the hold into a running powerslam for two, then it’s back to the half-crab (after Takahashi fights off the initial attempt). Mika makes the ropes, so Inoue hits a butterfly suplex for two. An elbowdrop misses, and Takahashi fires back with some flying hair-assisted facebusters and a lariat off the second rope for two.
Kyoko catches Mika with a rebound back elbow, but a second one misses, and Takahashi gets a jackknife roll-up for a close two! Takahashi catches Inoue with a twisting knee for another two, but Inoue uses some World of Sport-style Artful Dodgery to trap Takahashi in a nasty pendulum hold.
We return to the half-crab, which Kyoko works for a while before opting for the spinning toehold. She switches to another bow-and-arrow variant, but Takahashi barely fights out and makes the ropes. The fight spills to the floor, with Inoue sending Takahashi into the guardrail. Mika uses much of the 20-count to regroup, but Kyoko is right back on her once she re-enters the squared circle.
A vertical suplex and another butterfly suplex get another two-count, with Takahashi defiantly bridging out of the cover. Takahashi fights off an overhead throw at first, so Inoue settles for a piledriver for two. Inoue hits a helicopter throw for another near-fall, but a legdrop misses.
A Takahashi blind charge meets boots, but an Inoue blind charge is met with a hurricanrana for barely two. Inoue shrugs off an attempted facebuster, but Takahashi gets a flying snapmare and a bridging vertical suplex for two.
Takahashi applies a figure four as the 20-minute time call is announced. Inoue gets the ropes to break, but Takahashi drags her in for a revenge half-crab.
Takahashi switches to an Indian deathlock, then into a bridging Muta lock. Mika traps both the arms, but can’t maintain it, so she moves to a bow-and-arrow/chicken wing hybrid instead. Inoue escapes and bails to the floor for a reprieve.
Once Kyoko re-enters, Takahashi assaults her with a series of kicks, and it’s on to the Boston crab. It’s once again half-crab-o’clock, but Takahashi drops that for a camel clutch. Takahashi releases and tries for some kicks, but Inoue puts her down with a vicious one of her own.
Things break down into a slapping match, but Takahashi sends Inoue to the floor and follows with a plancha!
After Kyoko rolls in, Takahashi hits a bridging butterfly suplex for two, then heads up for a top rope elbow…which misses! Inoue performs a Texas Cloverleaf version of the giant swing, then drops an elbow for a close two!
Kyoko heads up, but Takahashi cuts her off and hits a top rope butterfly suplex! Mika finally manages to crawl over for the cover, but Inoue kicks out! Inoue comes back with a German suplex for two, but Takahashi hits a fisherman’s Northern Light’s suplex for another close fall!
Takahashi hits a top rope crossbody, but Inoue again kicks out! Inoue gets a fisherman’s suplex for two and looks for a Gory special, but Takahashi gets a sunset flip…but the 30-minute time limit expires as the ref was counting the pin! We have a draw!
We get a post-match show of respect between the ladies here.
***3/4 - Great stuff from these two. I’ve only watched a few Takahashi matches here and there, mostly for these projects, but I liked what I saw. I’ve always enjoyed Inoue quite a lot, and it was fun to see her in an early example of working a long match. I was drawn in by her aggression, as well as the story of Takahashi paying it back in kind later in the match.
The time limit was a double-edged sword here. The match probably would have been even better with half or two-thirds of the time as it did get a bit repetitive and overdrawn at points, but that last few minutes were excellent drama. The ending, with Inoue possibly being saved by the bell, was well-done.
WCW Power Hour
It’s time for WNN (Wrestling News Network) with Gordon Solie! I know what they’re going for with the logo, but it looks like a bunch of awkward squigglies.
Gordon recaps the ending of the Black Scorpion saga that stunk up much of the back half of 1990. We hear from Sting, who says he doesn’t care where it is, but he wants back in the ring with Ric Flair! He stepped over the line one time too many, and he better make sure he gets the job done next time, pal!
We then get the same Flair promo from the December 22nd episode of World Championship Wrestling. Kind of a lazy bit of production there, and we don’t really break new ground in this segment.
WWF Superstars of Wrestling
UPDATE! AN INSIDE LOOK FROM THE PAGES OF THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION MAGAZINE!
Mean Gene Okerlund speaks of the upcoming WWF Championship match at the Royal Rumble between Ultimate Warrior and Sgt. Slaughter. We hear from “Macho King” Randy Savage, who promises that he’s going to win the WWF title from Ultimate Warrior before the Rumble, and Warrior/Slaughter will be a non-title match, YEAAAAHHHHH.
ROYAL RUMBLE! OOOHHH, YEAAAAHHHH! DIG IT!
Gene then throws it to a locker room interview with WARYAH, who claims that the breath of the Macho King is the last thing he feels of him as he’s left him behind. Oh, you sweet summer child.
Warrior addresses Sgt. Slaughter and the MILLIONS OF IRAQIS in his corner, but he stands across from Warrior, who has the love and support of his millions of Warriors behind him! He urges Slaughter and the MILLIONS OF IRAQIS to consider TOTAL SURRENDER!
Yikes. I’m not really into the idea of the WWF demonizing Iraqi citizens, but the Fed isn’t exactly known for nuance. They usually handle these storylines with the delicacy of a giant Harley Quinn clown hammer over the top of your head.
In our first episode of the Brother Love Show of the year, Hulk Hogan guests and gets a pretty huge pop coming out. Love tells Brother Hulk that the Royal Rumble is going to be every man for himself, and anything can happen.
We get highlights of Hogan’s confrontation with Ultimate Warrior at last year’s Rumble, then the Hulkster reminds him that he won it last year, and he’ll win again this year. Love tells him that he’s going to be facing a lot of enemies, including Earthquake and Dino Bravo.
Hogan knows what they’re all about, BROTHER, and he hopes he draws #1 so he can eliminate all 29 men. He welcomes the confrontation! He wants to prove that Hulkamania is the ONLY natural disaster in the WWF!
Love then brings up the possibility of Hogan facing his good friend, Sheik Tugboat. TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW, BROTHER! They may be friends, but there will be no quarter given. WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUMBLES ALL OVER YOU! The shirt flies off, and we hit the poses as the segment closes.
Fun little promo here to establish the Rumble, but could you IMAGINE Hogan trying to go coast-to-coast for 60 minutes? Though, to be fair, if anyone would lobby to have themselves go over 29 other wrestlers in one night, it would be the Hulkster.
Next, we catch up with Ted DiBiase and Virgil on location at a horse ranch. DiBiase rocking the cowboy hat with his gimmick tux is an early contender for 1991 Gear of the Year.
He talks shit about Dusty Rhodes and Texas in general. There’s something bigger and better than Texas: his bank account! He reminds us that his money is thicker than water or blood.
Ted stomps on the cowboy hat as he claims that Dusty and Dustin Rhodes will be on their knees, begging for his mercy!
DiBiase makes a mess of his boot, and he demands Virgil clean it up. Virgil obliges while DiBiase claims that he’ll clean up the mess that is the Rhodes family.
DiBiase continues to be a tremendous (albeit cartoonish) villain, demeaning Virgil and just being a colossal dick in general.
World Championship Wrestling
We kick it off with RIP ROGERS PROMO TIME! Backstage, Paul E. Dangerously refers to Rip as WCW’s healthiest man (he peels the skin off his chicken AND drinks mineral water WITHOUT the lime!), then brings up the stipulation for the upcoming rematch with Flyin’ Brian. In this match, pinfalls don’t count for the first five minutes.
Rogers says that while Brian excels in sprints, he’s the MARATHON MAN! Pillman better watch his carbohydrates and peel the skin off his chicken because Rip can go all day or night if needed!
Flyin’ Brian vs. Rip Rogers - These guys have had a very entertaining midcard TV feud in the latter portion of 1990, with Rogers not quite being able to upend Flyin’ Brian. As established earlier, pinfalls don’t count for the first five minutes.
New year, new green trunks for Pillman.
We get an inset promo from Pillman, saying that Rogers is preoccupied with limits, but those who compete in WCW don’t know limits! There’s no limit to the abuse Brian will dish out! NO LIMIT SOLDIERS!
I may have added that last part in myself.
We get a bit of shoving and Pillman attempting an inconsequential pinfall early on to establish the stip. Not even 20 seconds in, we get the one minute time call as Rogers chops away in the corner. Pillman retaliates his his own chops and a dropkick, leading to another instinctual pinfall attempt.
Pillman wins a backslide battle and gets several inside cradles as two minutes have (allegedly) elapsed. Moments later, a Pillman blind charge meets boot, and Rogers capitalizes with a clothesline. Rip gets an axehandle to the floor, causing Pillman to collapse a whole section of guardrail. Three minutes have now passed.
Rogers continues to dish out the abuse at ringside, then it’s back in for a headbutt. Pillman fights back as we get the four minute call. However, Rogers blocks a monkey flip and attempts his own cover, which still doesn’t count. Hoist on his own petard!
Brian blocks a back suplex, but Rogers dodges a dropkick, then both guys miss elbowdrops. Pillman shifts his weight to counter a scoop slam while the announcer begins his countdown. Rip rolls through a crossbody attempt just before the five minute mark elapses, so the pin wouldn’t have counted.
Five minutes are officially gone, so the match can now end via pinfall. Pillman skins the cat back into the ring after a missed dive, but Rogers counters a roll-up by sending Brian to the floor. Pillman fights back, sending Rogers into the railing, then he heads up a few rows into the crowd for Air Pillman!
Pillman hits some chops, but Rogers whips him into the apron, then it’s an airplane spin on the floor! Rogers hits a snapmare on the floor, but an elbowdrop misses. Pillman hits a spinning kick, then we head back in for a Pillman splash…that hits knees!
Rogers, still dizzy from the airplane spin, gets run into the buckle, and Brian lands the top rope sunset flip for three!
***1/4 - Another Saturday night, another super-entertaining TV match between these guys. Great pacing and big bumps as usual, the chemistry is there, and the unique stipulation added extra flavor to the story. The stip coming back to bite Rogers was a nice detail.
Now it’s time to vote for WCW’s Sexiest Wrestler!
Postcards only, people! The winner will be announced at the upcoming Clash of the Champions.
Pillman, Sting, Lex Luger, Z-Man, Terry Taylor, Ric Flair, among others, were featured in the ad, but we all know who the REAL winner was:
Minotaur.
CALL THE NEW WRESTLING HOTLINE! 1-900-909-9900!
Next, Jim Ross sits down with future WrestleMania main eventer Lawrence Taylor. Unlike in 1995, Taylor was still an active player for the Giants, but he was on the downswing of his career.
At the January 11th Meadowlands show, LT will be in Lex Luger’s corner as he takes on Big Cat in a Football match, where the goal is to knock the opposition out of the ring, and both guys will be in full football gear. Paul E. Dangerously will be in Cat’s corner.
LT asks what kind of name “Paul E.” is. That’s a GIRL’S NAME! He’s going to coach Lex into knocking Big Cat on his butt. Taylor calls Big Cat and Paul E. a couple of pansies, but tells the fans to come out and see them anyway. Wow, way to sell a show.
LT says Paul E. may know about polo, ping-pong, and pool, but he knows nothing about REAL SPORTS. If he wants to interfere, LT will jump in and take him out.
Michael “P.S.” Hayes, dressed as Uncle Sam, wants YOU at Wrestle War ‘91!
WAR GAMES! MAN VS. METAL! THE DUEL IN THE DESERT! LIVE FROM PHOENIX, ARIZONA! FEBRUARY 24th!
Hell yeah! War Games is BACK after being completely absent in 1990. I can’t wait to get to that, and to this show in general because it has one of my personal favorite WCW matches.
Next, Jim Ross is at ringside with Paul E. and Missy Hyatt. JR discusses the upcoming arm wrestling match between his two “infantile colleagues” at Clash of the Champions on January 30th.
Ross asks the two to be civil, but Missy’s having NONE of that, calling Paul E. a sissy who lives at home with his mom and dad. Probably not far from the truth, honestly. Dangerously retorts by asking her to come to the Clash dressed like a lady, “not like what we all know you really are”. Jesus, dude.
Missy’s having NONE of that, slapping the taste out of his mouth and dropping, “why don’t you wear THAT” before walking off!
It’s kind of a goofy idea for a feud, but I’m always up for seeing someone smack or beat the shit out of Paul Heyman. Dangerously’s selling of the slap was great, too.
USWA Challenge (Dallas)
These two matches come courtesy of the USWA Sportatorium taping from December 28th.
Southern Heavyweight Championship: “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert (c) vs. Jeff Jarrett - These two were engaged in a pretty heated, hyper-personal feud by year’s end, so we’ll get the continuation here.
These tights on Jarrett are absolutely wild. We saw them last year, but I was able to get a much clearer picture.
The Dallas fans are WAY into Double J here. After a quick start with some punches, Eddie takes a massive bump off a back body drop and sells it as he tumbles to the outside. Upon his return to the ring, Gilbert tries another punch, but Jarrett retaliates with one that knocks Eddie stiff, resulting in a Ric Flair-esque flop. This is high-level buffoonery (complimentary).
After a bit of stalling, Gilbert wrings the arm, but Jarrett counters with some armbarring of his own. Gilbert shoots him off, but Jarrett gets a sunset flip for two, then it’s back to the armbar while Eddie falsely claims a hairpull.
Gilbert tries to wrestle out, but Jarrett outwits him and gets the hammerlock. Gilbert breaks via the ropes and gets a few cheap shots, but Jarrett evades a charge, resulting in Hot Stuff’s shoulder eating ringpost. Back to some more barring of the arm, with Jarrett using his acumen to stifle Hot Stuff’s attempts to wrestle out of the hold. However, a fist to the sternum turns the tide.
Eddie continues peppering away with punches, then a vertical suplex sets up an elbowdrop…which misses! Jarrett gets the armdrag, and it’s back to the arm as USWA CHALLENGE ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Gilbert attacking Jarrett’s leg with a spinning toehold. Double J fights out by wrenching Eddie’s damaged arm, but he messes up his leg after dropping knees on the shoulder! Gilbert regains the upper hand by striking the knee, then continues working over the compromised limb. It’s FIGURE FOUR TIME!
Gilbert uses Jarrett’s bootlaces for leverage, which I can’t really say I’ve seen before. Jarrett ALMOST rolls over, but Eddie brings him right back. The hold gets a couple of two-counts for Gilbert, but Jeff FINALLY reverses the hold! Gilbert rolls to the ropes to break, and both guys are hobbling around the ring.
Jarrett fights back, but a dropkick misses, resulting in a near-fall for Gilbert. Jarrett ducks a clothesline and gets a crucifix for two, then he gets an O’Connor roll for another near-fall! We get a dropdown sequence that results in a cranial collision and a double-down.
Both guys make it to their feet, and they both punch each other down at the same time. They get back up, and end up taking each other down with simultaneous clotheslines! Seconds later, Gilbert scoops Jarrett up, and the ref gets bumped! What, no way.
Jarrett hits a second-rope dropkick for a visual pinfall, but the ref is still out! Gilbert procures a chain that was hidden in a towel, but Jarrett ducks a wild swing and rolls Gilbert up for two! The announcers think it was three, but it was two.
Jarrett grabs the chain, wraps it around his fist, and socks Gilbert for the three and the title…or so you’d think.
Gilbert complains about the weapon usage, so the ref brings Jarrett back to the ring. He has Jarrett dig the chain out of his trunks as the fans are screaming about the source of the chain. However, the referee reverses his decision and awards the match to Gilbert via disqualification!
**** - This was tremendous. It’s a fairly basic structure, but done extremely well. I loved the little touches, like both guys using the other man’s injuries to escape holds, or, in Jarrett’s case, impacting his own effectiveness and allowing Gilbert to retake the advantage. Also, that figure four spot was a masterclass in milking sequences for maximum impact, and the bit with the repeated double-downs was delightful.
Gilbert was locked in here with his creative heel psychology, bumping, and selling. It’s kind of mindboggling to me that Jeff Jarrett spent so much of his career in major promotions (WWF, WCW, TNA, AEW) as a heel, because he was a FANTASTIC babyface when the situation called for it. This match is a prime example, with the fans absolutely living and dying with Simply Irresistible.
Yes, the Dusty finish was the usual Memphis-style bullshit screwjob, but it is what it is. This has been a hell of a start in terms of overall match quality.
USWA Unified World Heavyweight Championship: Terry Funk (c) vs. Jerry Lawler - We start with Funk taunting Lawler, saying he’s champion because he’s “meaner than a rattlesnake, tougher than shoe leather, more dangerous than a hollow eyed scorpion”, and he can take him and any five of “these morons out here”!
Funk takes his time getting to the ring, jawing at fans in the front row. Once we get started, the referee gets dragged into a slugout between the two, with Lawler sending Funk to the floor while we see Scotty the Body (the future Raven) chilling at ringside. Back in, Lawler continues to assert dominance with some stiff corner whips, including a bump that results in Funk landing nuts-first on the top rope.
Seconds later, Funk takes over with a series of punches before hurling the King to the outside. Funk drops Lawler with a DDT onto the Sportatorium floor, then the brawling resumes in the crowd. Funk hurls a chair into the ring, but when they’re back in, Lawler makes him pay for that with a DDT onto it!
Funk’s selling of this is hilarious, scooting around the ring with his face down until he spills out of the ring.
Lawler strangles him with the crowd-control rope as USWA CHALLENGE ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back as Lawler continues pounding Funk from pillar to post, even catching a chair Funk meant to hurl into the ring and bopping him on the head with it. Lawler then chokes Funk with the microphone cable and slams his face against the ringside table.
Funk continues bumping around like a madman while Lawler punches away. The Funker grabs a piece of particle board from under the table, but Lawler grabs it and shatters it over his head with a satisfying BOOM. Moments later, Funk manages to grab a sleeper, even grabbing the trunks to maintain the hold when the fans seem to rally the King into escape.
Lawler eventually gets out with a jawbreaker, then he back body-drops out of a piledriver attempt. Lawler then hits Funk with THREE piledrivers, but Funk gets a foot on the ropes to break the cover! Lawler misses with a fistdrop, then Funk chokes him out with his wrist tape. Referee Tony Falk tries to break it up, but Funk rewards him with a clothesline and a trip to the floor!
Lawler gets a visual pinfall with a roll-up, and the melee continues while the referee rings the bell to signal the disqualification loss for Terry. Funk goes (even more) insane, hurling chair after chair into the ring despite retaining his title.
***1/2 - Another terrific match in a series of them. Lawler put in some solid work as the babyface, but Funk completely stole the show here with his bumping, offense, clowning, and general sense of chaos. The result was a wild, entertaining brawl, albeit with another non-finish.
THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
There were some joint WWF/SWS shows in December, and…they didn’t exactly do gangbusters, averaging mostly-comped crowds of under 3,000 fans.
After hearing of a potential deal with FOX, NBC opted to give the WWF a Friday night Main Event special on February 1st.
The show is kind of a turd, but we’ll get to that when the time comes.
Remember Black Magic, that huge masked dude from the USWA? It turns out he used to work in Memphis as The Big O.
Other than a tag team with Jeff Gaylord, there wasn’t much to uncover here.
The Savoldis, owners of ICW (the indie promotion with all those Tony Atlas promos from last year), say they are working with Kevin Von Erich on a merger.
I went into more detail about this when I wrote a brief summary of ICW in Part 13 of Ryan Navigates ‘90, but it turned out to be more of a rebranding than anything. The company would soon change their name to International World Class Championship Wrestling, or IWCCW.
NEXT TIME: Akira Hokuto vs. Manami Toyota, Jungle Jack vs. Bull Nakano & Kyoko Inoue in a hair vs. hair match, and Louie Spicolli is the KING OF SOFT!
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