Ryan's One-Offs #1 - The New York Royal Rumble (1/17/94)
Madison Square Garden gets their own Royal Rumble mere days before the real thing.
Welcome one and all to the first edition of Ryan's One-Offs!
These articles will see the internet's 148,934th favorite retro wrestling reviewer examine individual matches. They can pretty much come from any company and any era, and consist of whatever I feel like reviewing. I'll also take requests (as long as I have the match available)! With Ryan's Dive into ‘95 often being fairly hefty, it’ll be nice to just do shorter articles now and then.
Not that this one is necessarily going to be brief, though, as I will be looking at a WWF Royal Rumble match. However, it's not just any Royal Rumble match, but one that not a lot of people have seen. One oft ignored by history. Today, I will be reviewing the New York Royal Rumble.
You see, five days before the Royal Rumble 1994 PPV took place in Providence, Rhode Island, the WWF held a house show in Madison Square Garden and, just for shits and giggles, decided to give those fans their very own Royal Rumble match. It was a whole-ass Rumble, too, with 30 competitors, full 2-minute intervals, countdowns, buzzers, everything.
This match has never been made officially available for consumption by The Fed. Hell, I don't think the match itself was ever acknowledged in any WWF media, with the only coverage came from dirtsheets and Apter mags. However, thanks to the magic of some dude sneaking a camcorder into The Garden, tape traders around the world were able to get a glimpse of this event. I kinda miss the days of big companies putting crazy shit like Ironman or ladder matches on house shows.
Alright, enough mumble; it's time to RUMBLE!
30-Man Royal Rumble
Howard Finkel going over the rules just feels right, you know. That stuff gets me AMPED.
Diesel drew #1 and Mo from Men on a Mission is #2. I don't see this going well for…oh, let's say…Mo.
Mo actually does take the fight to Big Sexy for a bit as the fans chant “WHOOMP! THERE IT IS!”, but he is not long for this Rumble, getting tossed before the two-minute mark (with his ankle getting caught in the ropes on the way out). Butch (the Bushwhacker, not Pete Dunne) is #3 and manages to bite some ass, but Diesel ejects him in short order. Unlike what happens on PPV. Fink announces each competitor when they come out. It definitely helps here due to the video quality and some of the jobbers that show up.
Fellow Kliq member The 1-2-3 Kid, fresh off him and Marty Jannetty losing their tag titles to The Quebecers earlier in the night in a REALLY good match, enters at #4 and gets manhandled by the big guy. Kid somehow manages a flying headscissors and mounts a comeback with some corner kicks, but gets his leg tangled up in the ropes. Diesel shoves him out in short order.
Unfortunately, Kid injured his leg during this elimination, thus missing the actual PPV Rumble and a couple of months of action in total. This wasn't the only injury during this show, as Ludvig Borga badly hurt his ankle during a match with Rick Steiner earlier in the evening. That would end up being his last appearance in the WWF as he would miss the Rumble PPV and WrestleMania X.
Scott Steiner runs in at #5 and gets smacked off the apron. Diesel then steps OVER THE TOP ROPE to assault him on the floor. Whoops! That doesn’t result in an elimination here, but I imagine Big Daddy Cool got a talking-to backstage after that faux-pas. Diesel dominates Scotty in the ring for a bit until Scott throws him through the ropes and gets some ringside revenge. Steiner gets a double-underhook suplex as CANADA’S GREATEST ATHLETE, “Iron” Mike Sharpe enters at #6! Forget that Saudia Arabia show; THIS is the Greatest Royal Rumble!
I’d love to say that Sharpe eliminates both guys and everyone else that enters the match en route to victory, but he gets quickly tossed by Big Poppa Pump. Scott keeps holding his own with Diesel as Headshrinker Samu is #7. Him and Diesel double-team Scott for a while until they turn on each other and square off. Bob Backlund is #8 and atomic-drops Samu. Everyone fights it out for a while as Jeff Jarrett enters at #9. He punches everybody but soon gets his ass kicked by the heels. The Big Bad Booty Daddy presses Jarrett over his head but doesn’t toss him. That Steiner math wasn’t mathing.
Virgil enters at #10, sprinting to the ring like they were handing out Olive Garden gift cards. The ring is starting to fill up quite a bit now as Bam Bam Bigelow comes out at #11. I was hoping he’d toss some bodies, but it was not to be. Everybody brawls and hangs around the ropes until “Macho Man” Randy Savage hits the ring at #12. He naturally runs wild until Diesel gets a hold of him. Diesel misses a boot in the corner and Savage eliminates him! That ends what was basically a dry run for his more famous sequence five days later.
Savage quickly YEETS Jarrett as well. Lucky #13 is Adam Bomb, who attacks everyone but gets subdued by Steiner and Savage. Bam Bam presses Wrestling Superstar Virgil, but Virgil collapses on top of him.
Sgt. Slaughter is a surprise entrant at #14, seeing his first WWF in-ring action since mid-late 1992. He helps Backlund and Steiner eliminate Adam Bomb, then gets into it a bit with Savage. Crush enters at #15 and naturally goes after bestie-turned-bitter rival Savage. Crush soon tosses Scott, ending a much better showing than Steiner had at the pape. Mabel of Men on a Mission is #16 as Crush eliminates Savage! Boo!
Bigelow looks to powerslam Crush out, but Crush shifts his weight and Bigelow crashes to the floor! Crush hurls Sarge into the corner and out of the ring (via Slaughter’s trademark corner bump). Jim Powers, at this point an egregiously roided-up enhancement talent, is #17 and gets quickly squished and tossed by Mabel.
Right now, we have Mabel, Virgil, Crush, Backlund, and Samu clustered in a corner. Bastion Booger is #18 as the tummyache that kept him out of the PPV Rumble had not yet struck. He gangs up with everyone else in the ring to try to eliminate Mabel. Mabel goes out, but Virgil and Backlund go out with him! We’re left with Booger, Crush, and Samu in the ring right now.
Crush tosses Booger, then engages in knucklelockery with Samu. Bushwhacker Luke is #19 and ELIMINATES SAMU?!? Whoa! Crush soon superkicks Luke out as he gets the dominance run for this match. Owen Hart, five days before his famous turn on his brother, is #20 and takes it to Hawaiian Brian. They have a decent little match until “The Model” Rick Martel enters at #21. Owen fights off both guys, but they start to overwhelm him. Bret “The Hitman” Hart enters at #22 and comes to his brother’s aid. They pair off with Bret grappling with Crush while Martel and Owen go at it. A Martel/Owen match would be pretty sweet.
I.R.S. enters the Rumble at #23 as Bret dropkicks Crush out to end a fairly impressive run for the latter. JOHNNY POLO hits the ring at #24 and immediately bumps like a pinball for both Bret and Owen. It’s a shame that the WWF had him almost literally do everything but wrestle during that time because he’s a terrific bumper. The future Raven avoids elimination as Scott Putski enters at #25, looking very much like Temu Ultimate Warrior. The future Konnan 2000 from Paul Alperstein’s AWF had some dark matches and did some house shows in ‘93 and ‘94, but didn’t really appear in The Fed until 1997 as a light-heavyweight.
He fights it out with The World’s Sweatiest Tax Accountant as Polo continues to take comedy bumps to keep things lively. Headshrinker Fatu is #26 and goes after Bret. The New Yorkers start freaking out when Bret is nearly eliminated by the heels, but Owen makes the save. The #27 spot (which my friends and I used to dub the “God spot” due to its high yield of winners for the longest time) goes to Marty Jannetty. He tangles it up in the corner with Polo as things are starting to clutter up again.
Bart Gunn enters at #28 and immediately gets kicked in the chops by Fatu. Kind of surprised Billy Gunn wasn’t in the match; maybe he had an injury? Everyone bunches up by the ropes and fights it out as Shawn Michaels comes out at #29 and immediately gets into a spirited scrap with Jannetty that the crowd is INTO. Jannetty shows insane fire here, but Michaels gets the upper hand.
Marty puts Shawn down with a superkick but can’t get him out. The coveted #30 position goes to Doink The Clown! A bit of an anti-climax, but at least it’s suitably random. Michaels eliminates Jannetty while the clown made his entrance. We’re down to Doink, Bret, Shawn, Owen, I.R.S., Uncle Ass, Fatu, Putski, and Polo. A bit of a dog’s breakfast in there. Polo heads upstairs and Owen knocks him to the floor! Putski is Outski thanks to a back body drop from Fatu. I.R.S. eliminates The Model as Doink tricks Bart with an eyepoke. Doink then suplexes Gunn out of the ring in a rather wild bump for this match!
Shawn quickly clotheslines Doink to the floor, then Bret atomic drops Irwin out.
Our final four is Bret, Owen, Shawn, and Fatu. Sub Owen with Lex Luger and you have the final four from the PPV. Bret tries to will Fatu out, but Shawn sneaks up and eliminates The Hitman! Owen and Fatu gang up on Owen, but The Rocket fights back! Owen does a double noggin-knocker, which works on Shawn, but not so much on Fatu. Fatu and Shawn hit a pretty neat superkick-spinebuster combo. Razor Ramon, Shawn’s rival at the time, comes out to taunt Michaels. Owen kicks Fatu and causes him to run into Michaels to eliminate The Heartbreak Kid!
Our final two is Owen Hart and Headshrinker Fatu! That’s a combination you wouldn’t have pegged being at the end when looking at the lineup. Shawn and Razor fight to the back as Owen and Fatu go at it. The middle rope actually broke around the time Michaels was eliminated.
Owen goes to use the rope as a weapon, but Fatu staves him off. They take turns attempting to toss each other as Samu and Bret support their respective relatives at ringside. Bret wills the crowd behind Owen as he takes a pummeling from Daddy Uso. Owen comes back with a diving headbutt, but Fatu cuts him off with a backbreaker. Fatu scales what’s left of the ropes, but Owen meets him at the pass but can’t quite get him out. Owen hits a clothesline for Fatu’s 360-degree sell, then hurls him out for the win! Owen Hart wins the New York Rumble!
***1/4 - I may be going a bit high for a match that at one point had Crush, Bastion Booger, and Headshrinker Samu as the only remaining competitors, but I actually really enjoyed this. Without the need to worry about existing storylines or canon, they were free to make this Rumble feel more random and experimental than the ones you would see on PPV. The entry order and the eliminations themselves at times felt like something you would simulate in a video game.
It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, though. The best Rumbles are usually tightly booked with either a match-long story thread or several smaller ones. They also know when to inject the match with star power when needed to help with excitement or flow. This match suffered from long stretches of action that was just there. This was a very long Rumble, too, at over 70 minutes. I’m not sure about other house show Rumbles, but as of January 2024, only the 2023 Men’s Rumble and The Greatest Royal Rumble from 2018 were longer.
Despite the rough patches, there was a lot to like here. The bumping from Johnny Polo was a lot of fun, the Shawn/Jannetty stuff, while brief, was explosive, Savage tossing Jarrett is always great, Bart Gunn taking an insane bump for Doink of all people, and we solid domination runs for Diesel and Crush. Plus, the stuff from the final four on was really well-done overall. Owen and Fatu’s respective partners coming out was a great touch, and the win, though not canon, was a really nice moment for The King of Harts.
Plus, most importantly, “Iron” Mike Sharpe.
If anyone has any matches that you want to see me review, leave a comment on this article or hit me up on Twitter (@RyeHenMac84). If I have it available, I'll give it a look!
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