Ryan's Dive into '95 - Part Seven (2/12-2/18)
A crazy New Japan brawl (!) highlights another fairly low-key week at The Dive.
If you haven’t read it already, please check out my introductory article that explains what this series is all about. As a reminder, footage is sourced from the Goodhelmet 1995 Yearbook, unless otherwise stated.
How ya now?
We have a somewhat truncated week this time, as no RAW (due to the dog show) and no ECW means we only have Friday and Saturday to cover. We do have a couple of matches, one of which is from a promotion we haven't seen since the first week. Plus, the usual Saturday suspects show up.
Well, PITTER PATTER.
FEBRUARY 17th
NJPW TV - Hey, it's good to see the lion again. The last we saw of New Japan was the very first week of the year when they had their traditional January 4th Tokyo Dome show.
Team Wolf (Masahiro Chono & Hiroyoshi Tenzan) vs. Hiroshi Hase & Kensuke Sasaki - Tenzan was but a youngster here, having just returned from excursion in January. However, he is the target of vitriol from the New Japan faithful as he joined up with the villainous Masahiro Chono (Hiro Saito and Sabu would also align with them to form Team Wolf). The rest of NJPW took exception to that, so this is a very heated contest from the jump. Hase and Sasaki are champing at the bit to get their hands on the heels, and it's a donnybrook to start! Hase takes Chono all around the arena, then comes into the ring to dole out abuse on Tenzan with Sasaki. Chono makes it back and starts jawing with Hase.
Things settle into a normal match as Tenzan gets his Violent Bull ass kicked by the faces. GIANT SWING FROM HASE! Chono tries to intervene, but he gets tossed into the waiting arms of several Nooj wrestlers on the outside who proceed to beat the everloving tar out of him! Sasaki scores a couple of lariats on Tenzan, then pulls him up at 2! Uranage by Hase, who then tries to goad Chono into the ring. Powerslam from Sasaki gets two. Tenzan counters a lariat with one of his own, but Sasaki is like “fuck off, kid” and lariats him down. Tenzan then gets double-teamed for a bit until he bumps the ref! Chono comes in and EATS a lariat from Kensuke! Tenzan comes back with some Mongolian chops and a spinkick. Chono follows up with some Yakuza kicks, and the fans absolutely SHOWER Chono with jeers. Chono introduces a chair into the match and hits Sasaki with it a few times.
Diving headbutt from Tenzan hits Sasaki, then Chono hits a Yakuza kick on Hase who is seated in the chair! CHONO…GET THE TABLES! Tenzan nails Hase with a PILEDRIVER ONTO THE FLAT TABLE. Tenzan follows up with a NICE moonsault onto Hase for the three! The crowd is PISSED, as are the other NJPW wrestlers. They come in and go after Team Wolf, and the brawl continues! The faces return to the ring, where the other NJPW guys come in, take off their shirts, and continue to bitch out Team Wolf.
**** - Holy crap, that was quite the piece of business. This was a crazy, intense brawl with INSANE heat. You don't usually associate New Japan with these kinds of angles and matches, so when they do this stuff, it really stands out. The dynamic was interesting in that the faces could have ended it multiple times, but their desire to torture Tenzan and get their hands on Chono allowed the bad guys to cheat and take the win. The NJPW guys at ringside also made this a lot fun to watch. Great stuff.
FEBRUARY 18th
WWF Superstars - We join “Sweet” Stan Lane, the guy allegedly responsible for foisting Lauren Boebert onto the unsuspecting masses. He is with WWF Magazine publisher Bob Mitchell and superfan Dax Harwood Amy Stewart. The magazine took a vote from the fans on which WWF superstar best exemplified The New WWF Generation. They then present the 1994 WWF Magazine Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence to Bret “The Hitman” Hart. At least the fans have taste.
Bret says that, while his memories are great, he still has a dream, and it is to again become WWF Champion. Bret says he won't stop and will never give up. He'll hold his head high and reach the top. Let the world see what you have got. Bring it all back to you.
USWA Championship Wrestling - It MUST be Saturday as we are in the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis for some of that USWA promo and angle stuff! The dulcet tones of Ini Kamoze signals the arrival of PG-13, who join Dave Brown at the desk. Wolfie D has 80% vision back in his eye! This week, they square off with Doug Gilbert and Tommy Rich in a Stretcher match in part #27,920 of their ongoing series.
We also have a 16 man SuperBrawl coming up (surprisingly not affiliated with WCW SuperBrawl). JC Ice plans on breaking out the 9mm and SHOOTING EVERYBODY IN THE RING to win. Oh, that's not allowed, apparently, yet they can bring hubcaps? Where’s the line?!?!
Smoky Mountain Wrestling - We start off with Chris Candido, who is with Jim Ross. Jim brings up big February matches with Boo Bradley, a Loser Eats Dog Food match for Brawl in the Hall, then a Dog Collar match the next day at Sunday Bloody Sunday. Candido calls Boo a “big fat (r-slur)”, but calms himself down. He says that he will leave Smoky Mountain if he loses to Boo in the Dog Collar match, but then he says he wasn't being sincere. Good Ol’ JR grills him on it, asking him to be a MAN OF HIS WORD. Candido then capitulates and agrees to adding a loser leaves town stip onto the Dog Collar match on February 26th, as long as Boo also agrees.
We catch up with Dirty White Boy and a horsey! He likes riding said horse, then addresses Jerry Lawler and Buddy Landel. You can take his pick-up, burn his house, even TAKE HIS HORSE, but you can't take his pride. Y'know, if someone took MY horse (or cat, in my case), they'd be taking a trip to the train station. I'd John Wick that motherfucker. I hope that horse bucked him off next time he got on it. Not a bad promo, all-in-all, but I'd rather see the horse wrestle than DWB.
We now rejoin Jim Ross, who is with The Gangstas. New Jack addresses Jim Cornette, Bob Armstrong, and the Rock ‘n Roll Express. There is a special referee to be assigned to their match on Sunday Bloody Sunday, but New Jack does not give a HOOT about who it is.
This week on CONFRONTATION WITH JIM ROSS, we have “Nature Boy” Buddy Landel. He declares this a pre-victory celebration! He is out here in his MOST EXPENSIVE SUIT as we see clips of him beating Tracy Smothers and Dirty White Boy whilst JR calls him out for winning by nefarious means. Landel accuses DWB of riding a MULE, not a horse, then absolutely GOES IN on Dirty White Girl, basically calling her a horse and that she’s been ridden by many a cowboy. That understandably draws out Dirty White Boy for a beating. DWB chokes Landel with his own tie and RIPS HIS EXPENSIVE CLOTHES OFF, leaving Landel to scurry away in his tighty whities.
We now join Jim Cornette in the ring with Les Thatcher. Cornette compares New Jack to Aunt Jemima. What the FUCK, dude? He plugs the upcoming matches at Brawl in the Hall and Sunday Bloody Sunday, then announces “Bullet” Bob Armstrong as the guest ref for the latter. “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood plays the commissioner out to the ring, who is carrying a baseball bat. However, the Gangstas come out to accost Team Dick's Sporting Goods but are chased off by The New Southern Boys.
New Southern Boys vs. The Infernos - Man, we are getting a LOT of Smoky Mountain this week. At least we have a rarity: an actual listed match for the SMW TV show! The New Southern Boys are Tracy Smothers and Scott Armstrong, who is substituting for original Southern Boy and brother Steve Armstrong as he was injured by The Gangstas. The Masked Infernos, from THE GATES OF HELL, are Inferno Fire (Anthony Michaels, who had a molecule of notoriety as Lil’ Snot Dudley in ECW) and Inferno Brimstone (Brian Logan, who’d been a journeyman jobber for many years).
The Infernos are basically warm bodies for the New Southern Boys to do wrestles on. Smothers hits a nice superkick, and the faces pick up the win with a top rope back elbow/spinebuster combo.
1/2* - Just a quickie squash to establish the new team and to set up the post-match stuff.
After the match, The Gangstas and D'Lo Brown come out to attack the Southern fellas. This draws out Jim Cornette with his tennis racket, and Bob Armstrong who has his Louisville Slugger! That sends the Gangstas scurrying to the back as we are RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
WCW Saturday Night - And we close out another week as the Mac-son Park Express (I *will* get that over) makes a stopover on The Mothership. We join Tony Schiavone, commissioner Nick Bockwinkel, and Ric Flair. Flair declares himself a “straight, clean-livin’ civilian”, because when I think of “clean living”, I think of RIC FLAIR. Flair says he is tired of that retired life and says he will be at SuperBrawl to party with the winner of Hulk Hogan vs. Vader. What happened to clean living, bud? Is he gonna party with pizza, Dr. Pepper, and Fatal Fury Special? Well, he should, because that would be awesome.
We rejoin Tony Skeevone, who welcomes Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart to the interview area for the final hard sell before the PPV tomorrow. Hogan flashes the Vader Time signal while Wildcat Willie bows in reverence. Hulk probably had “have that jersey-wearing mascot swear fealty to me, BROTHER” put in his contract.
Hogan tells “Tony Shavontay” (yup, that's how he said it) that he is READY for Vader at SuperBrawl. For Hulk Hogan to rule The Dubya See Dubya, he needs to beat Vader, DUDE. He again assigns THAT SQUEAKY LITTLE MOUSE Jimmy Hart to Ric Flair troubleshooting duty, then ends it with the usual.
Boy, that one Smoky Mountain episode dominated this review, but some fun was still had. That NJPW brawl was an absolute blast, and Buddy Landel did a good job being a complete asshole that got his comeuppance. Next week will be much meatier, and we probably won’t have a ton more of these leisurely weeks as WCW (and the WWF soon after) are adding more PPV dates to the calendar.
NEXT TIME: We get a little bit of WCW SuperBrawl V and a good amount of ECW Return of the Funker. I’m not sure if that title gives it away, but a certain former NWA champion will make his return to the Land of Extreme. I’ll let you guys work out who it is.
Until next time, keep your feet on the ground, a song your heart, and don’t take any wooden nickels.
See you again soon!