Ryan's Dive into '95 - Part Fourteen (4/2-4/8)
We finally dive into WrestleMania XI! Plus, ECW 3 Way Dance, Champion Carnival, The Blue Bloods, a shockingly great SMW TV match, some notable Dive debuts, and MORE!
If you haven’t read it already, please check out my introductory article that explains what this series is all about. As a reminder, footage is sourced from the Goodhelmet 1995 Yearbook, unless otherwise stated.
How ya now?
After crossing The Bridge of Dreams, we are back on our regularly scheduled Dive. We have a SUPER busy week this go-round. Not only do we have key matches and moments from WrestleMania XI, but we also have a double dose of Dangerous K from AJPW’s Champion Carnival tournament, our usual Saturday stuff, and content from ECW 3 Way Dance. Get comfy, friends; we’ll be here a spell.
Well…
APRIL 2nd
WCW Main Event - Forget WrestleMania and The Bridge of Dreams. April 2nd belongs to The Blue Bloods, MOTHERFUCKER! We catch up with Lord Steven Regal & Robert Eaton at Pringle of Scotland. A fancy clothing store, not the potato chip. Earl Robert tries on various hideous outfits, including a banana yellow number that prompts him to go “SMOOOOKIN’!”, which is a shockingly timely pop culture reference for pro wrestling. His delivery absolutely put me in the shadow realm.
We eventually get Bobby in a fitted suit and slicked-back hair. Geez, you can really notice that scar tissue on Bobby’s forehead now that the mullet isn’t hiding it. Regal claims the fit is just perfect but shoots a hilarious glare into the camera. These guys absolutely kill it in these vignettes.
WWF WrestleMania XI - Well, here we go. The Grandaddy of them all! We start off the big one by joining The Smoking Gunns (c) vs. Owen Hart and Yokozuna for the WWF Tag Team Championship in progress. Yokozuna was, of course, the mystery partner for Owen in his quest to become a tag team champion. Even though Yoko wasn’t exactly in peak condition at this point to say the least, I’ve always enjoyed his “big bully” to Owen’s “shitweasel” dynamic.
We pick it up with the Gunns getting a visual pinfall on Owen after a Sidewinder (well, the grounded variation), but Yoko distracts the ref. Owen tags in Yoko, who drops the leg on Daddy Ass. Billy plays the face in peril as Yoko dishes out some abuse. Nervehold goes on for a while. Owen accidentally missile-dropkicks Yoko, and SLIGHTLY ABOVE ROOM TEMPERATURE TAG TO BART! Bang Bang Bart runs wild for a bit, then tags Billy back in. Owen low-bridges Bart and Yoko belly-to-bellys Billy. Banzai drop, but Bart intercepts the pin. Bart is dumped, Owen tags in, then covers Billy for the pin and the titles!
Owen wins his first title in the WWF! The full match was short but not awful or anything, even with the draggy nerve hold segment.
WWF Heavyweight Championship: Diesel (c) vs. Shawn Michaels - Howard Finkel introduces the various celebrities, including Home Improvement's Jonathan Taylor Thomas as the guest timekeeper and NYPD Blue's Nicholas Turturro as the guest ring announcer.
I joke, but Home Improvement and NYPD Blue were hot shit back in the day. Seriously, you couldn’t go to a newsstand without seeing Randy Taylor on the cover of every one of those teen magazines.
Shawn Michaels comes out to the ring with Sid and Jenny McCarthy. I’m not sure what they were thinking, having Shawn go out there with a dangerously unhinged blonde lunatic who has no regard for the safety of others… and Sid.
But wait? Wasn't Shawn supposed to come out with Pamela Anderson? Well, that was a RUSE, because she comes out with Diesel instead!
Again, she looks like she’d rather be home watching the linoleum curl than be here. Shawn charges after Diesel while he's doing the in-ring portion of his entrance and takes a HUGE bump over the top for his trouble. After the opening festivities are done, Shawn flies around the ring sticking and moving until Diesel finally takes him down with a forearm. Moments later, Shawn takes another massive bump off a back body drop.
Shawn takes the Harley Race bump over the corner, then stalls for a bit. Back in, Shawn continues bumping off of Diesel like crazy, including a big one off a kneelift. Diesel continues to have an answer to everything Shawn tries until Shawn Cactus-clotheslines them both out, then follows with a plancha. Shawn seems to be having an issue with the photographers at ringside as he's had a couple of run-ins with them thus far. It's likely just them getting in the way and Shawn trying to get them out of harm's way, but with how Shawn was back then, who knows?
Diesel eats some ringpost and injures his ribs, then Shawn lands a splash from the apron to the floor. After selling the ribs on the floor for a while, Diesel eventually makes it back in, and Shawn maintains his advantage. Second-rope bulldog gets two, then more punchings and stompings. Rebound back elbow gets another near fall. Shawn continues working over the ribs, including a nice top rope elbow for two.
Shawn goes for some front facelocks, but Diesel tosses Shawn off each time. Shawn counters Snake Eyes and snags a sleeper. After a bit, Big Daddy Cool powers out and backs Shawn into the turnbuckle, then lays in some blows. Diesel continues on the offensive for a bit then grabs some trunks while Shawn tries to escape, giving us some Heart Break Kiester. They brawl outside for a bit, and among the fracas, referee Earl Hebner hurts his ankle trying to keep Sid under control. SUPERKICK…
…Shawn has Diesel down for far past three, but the ref is injured and can’t count! Sid tosses Hebner back in, but Diesel kicks out, and the crowd is NOT happy with that one. Sid removes the turnbuckle pad, but Diesel comes back with a big back suplex. After a long time, Shawn rolls over and covers Diesel for two! That was kind of an odd near-fall since it was Diesel that did the move, not Shawn. Diesel catches a flying Shawn with a sidewalk slam, but he can't capitalize because of the ribs.
Diesel catapults Shawn into the turnbuckle (the middle one under the exposed buckle). Diesel HULKS UP, hits some punches, then a big boot. What, no legdrop, BROTHER? Crowd is very mixed at this point, but nobody’s exactly rocking in the aisles for Big Daddy Cool. Diesel hits a lousy Jackknife for the pin (seriously, Shawn lands on his feet with that one).
***1/4 - This is a weird one. There are parts that I really liked, like Shawn bumping like a ping pong ball, some fun power stuff from Diesel, his selling of the ribs, and some decent drama near the end. However, there were some definite slow points, and the match was oddly structured in that it made Shawn look more like a babyface than Diesel. The crowd rallying behind Shawn (and Sid at one point, but c’mon, it’s SID!) and not exactly popping huge for Diesel support this. That finishing Jackknife was also really not good, and Shawn was likely meant to hit the exposed buckle but was too far away. The positives do outweigh the negatives here, but both guys will have much better matches later in the year against other opponents, and their No Holds Barred match against each other from 1996 would blow this match out of the water.
Post-match, Sid rants for a bit at Jim Ross, then Diesel celebrates with all the celebrities. Hey, Pam Anderson and JTT in the same ring. It's a Home Improvement mini-reunion!
Backstage with Todd Pettingill, Shawn and Sid bring up the visual pinfall from earlier and promise to capture the belt down the line.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor - We get introductions for those who will be ringside. For the MILLION$ TEAM$, we have:
King Kong Bundy!
Tatanka!
Nikolai Volkoff!
Kama!
IRS!
Ted DiBiase!
Wow, that was so not worth bullet points and exclamation marks. For LT's ALL PRO TEAM, we have:
Ken Norton!
Chris Spielman!
Rickey Jackson!
Carl Banks!
“THE MANIAC” Steve McMichael!
Reggie White!
We also got Pat Patterson as the ref as an extra measure to make sure Taylor didn’t get completely lost out there. Bam Bam comes out and intimidates musical guest Salt-N-Pepa. Rude! LT and his guy come out with the incredibly 90's purple and turquoise jackets. Hey, those were also the colors of the WrestleMania XI logo.
LT slaps Bammer before the bell, then takes him out with a running forearm, then clotheslines him out of the ring. After some stalling, Bam Bam misses a charge, and LT gets a bulldog for two. Taylor LAYS in some forearms and tosses Bigelow again. Taylor follows him out, and Bigelow catches him with stomps and clubbering as LT re-enters the ring. Bammer keeps control for a while, but LT dodges a headbutt and nails another stiff forearm. Bigelow regains the upper hand and continues beating Taylor down for a while.
Weak Boston crab, followed by a leglock, but LT grabs the ropes. Bam Bam grabs a leg grapevine, but LT grabs the ropes again and catches Bigelow with another sturdy forearm. Back suplex from LT, but Bam Bam regains the advantage with headbutts. Moonsault from Bammer, but he hurts his leg! The delay allows Taylor to kick out at 2. LT gets a really bad Jackknife for two. Well, an effort was made, anyway. What's with the shitty powerbombs tonight?
Enzuigiri takes LT down, and a top rope headbutt gets two! LT comes back with stiff forearms aplenty, and a second-rope forearm gets three!
**3/4 - For a celebrity match of this vintage, this was fairly well done. The match was smartly structured, kept super-basic so LT didn’t look like a complete deer in the headlights. There was some good drama, and Bam Bam did a great job carrying the load. Taylor did his part well, laying in some HARD forearms and not completely collapsing out there, even if he blew up a bit near the end. Nowadays, other celebrity performances (Bad Bunny, Stephen Amell, and *sigh* Logan Paul) have eclipsed this one, but it's still a fun watch.
For those who care, here's what else happened:
The Allied Powers (Lex Luger & British Bulldog) def. Jacob and Eli Blu in a tepid opener. Man, going from competing for the WWF title at WrestleMania X to jerking the curtain with the fucking Harris Brothers. Talk about a fall from grace for the Total Package.
Razor Ramon def. Jeff Jarrett via DQ in the IC title match. I remember this being pretty decent, but nothing to throw babies in the air about. Love the DQ finish at the Showcase of the Immortals.
The Undertaker upped his record to 4-0 at WrestleMania after besting King Kong Bundy in a bleh contest. Kama stole the urn, which he would eventually melt down and turn into a chain. The Undertaker vs. The Million Dollar Corporation feud MUST CONTINUE. Yay.
Bret “Hitman” Hart overcame Mr. Bob Backlund in an “I Quit” match that, as I brought up in past reviews, sucked ass. Even Bret said it was one of his worst PPV outings, if not THE worst.
This show was predicted by many industry experts to be a massive success based on the huge amount of promotion, higher television ratings, and the mainstream coverage generated by the main event. A minimum 2.0 buyrate was projected, and that was just being conservative. However, that very much did not happen. The show ended up with a 1.3 buyrate, or 340,000 buys, down from WrestleMania IX and X. My guess is that the Lawrence Taylor stuff got the sports media coverage and popped some TV ratings but didn't exactly compel people to fork over $35 to see the guy wrestle. LT considered doing more business with the WWF, but this result likely put a stop to that. Possibly for the best.
Not surprisingly, WrestleMania XI shows up in a lot of discussions for “Worst WrestleMania ever”. I don’t know if it’s THE worst ever, but it does rest comfortably in the lower tier of ‘Manias.
“WrestleMania”? More like “Wrestle-MEH-nia”, am I right?
APRIL 3rd
WWF Monday Night RAW - It's the RAW after WrestleMania before that really became its own beast. Before we move on, WWF Monday Night RAW is brought to you by BABY RUTH!
Vince McMahon brings out Shawn Michaels and Sid to address last night's defeat at the hands of Diesel. Shawn complains about generally feeling like a bag of spoiled ass after the match (specifically mentioning his back, which will come into play) and says he had trouble forgetting about their past friendship. Sid has a very puzzled look on his face.
Shawn accepts Diesel's invitation to a rematch, then says that he can live without a bodyguard. He blames Sid for the referee's injury last night and gives him THE NIGHT OFF for the rematch. Sid, in a very out-of-character move, takes great exception to having a night off from a wrestling show, calls Shawn a STUPID LITTLE PUKE and DEMANDS RESPECT. We cut to commercial as RAW ROLLS ON…
…and we're back with Sid standing over an unconscious Shawn. Diesel runs in for the save, and we’re OUTTA TIME! Soooooo, what happened?!? Well, Sid attacked Shawn as he was leaving the ring and made up for WrestleMania's crappy powerbombs by nailing Shawn with three killer powerbombs before Diesel came to the rescue.
This turned out to be a significant piece of business as it not only set up Diesel's next feud (for better or worse), but would serve as the launching point for Shawn's babyface run. Michaels was getting cheered quite a bit lately and his booking was putting him in more babyface situations (going the distance at the Rumble, wrestling the much larger Diesel at Mania), so this was the logical direction, even if it leaves the heel side even more bereft than it was before.
APRIL 4th
ECW Hardcore TV - We start off with a promo from a bloody Tommy Dreamer. This was presumably taped at ECW Extreme Warfare after his gauntlet match. Dreamer runs through getting past Raven’s cronies, only to get pasted by Raven at the end. Dreamer vows to get EXTREME!
We now catch up with Terry Funk and his flamin’ hot Mountain Dew branding iron. He blows on the fire, promises this will be a “hot” time in ECW, then laughs maniacally. That's it. That’s the promo. 10/10, no notes.
APRIL 6th
AJPW Champion Carnival, Night 14 - To continue a busy week, we have a couple of Champion Carnival tournament matches.
Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Toshiaki Kawada - This should be some good wrestling, I tell you hwut.
At this point, both guys are atop the leaderboard at 12 points apiece.
They trade some shoulderblocks to start, then Kawada hits a kick that actually ends up breaking Misawa's orbital bone! The kick itself wasn't exactly brutal, but shit happens.
You can tell something is wrong with Misawa taking significant time to get his shit together. I don't blame him; that's a nasty injury. They trade chops and elbows before a spinkick send Kawada to the floor. Misawa lands a plancha! Back in, Kawada nails some chops before taking Misawa down with an armbar. Kawada works a double-wristlock for a while before Misawa does a somersault kick to escape, nearly landing on his head in the process. Misawa comes back with an elbow smash and goes for a chinlock, but Kawada immediately shuffles to the ropes.
Kawada nails a backdrop driver seconds later, but Misawa breaks the pin via the ropes. Misawa rolls out to gather his composure. Back in, Kawada keeps control for a bit, working a chinlock. Misawa tries to break it with a jawbreaker, then an armdrag, but Kawada stays on top with kicks and stomps. Kawada tries a spinkick, but Misawa counters it and gets one of his own. Kawada takes a kick in the solar plexus, which took the wind out of his sails for a bit.
Misawa goes for a dive off the apron but eats a kick to the breadbasket as a result. Kawada gets his own twisting dive to the floor! Look at Kawada busting out the flippy shit!
Powerbomb attempt is thwarted, and Misawa nails a Tiger Driver on the floor! That gets a two count back in the ring. They mess up a tilt-a-whirl spot, but Kawada comes back with some face kicks, only to be put down by the Misawa twisting clothesline for two. Elbows and kicks are traded, with both guys powering through until Misawa nails an elbow to send Kawada reeling. Kawada manages another boot, then KICKS SOME BACK, opting not to scream “I'M A HEMOPHILIAC!” beforehand. They try for Germans, but Kawada ROCKS Misawa with a kick to the head.
More bootings, but Misawa blocks one powerbomb attempt and counters another one with a ‘rana for two! A stiff thrust kick knocks Misawa on his ass, then they try to go for their signature submissions, countering each other's attempts. Kawada NAILS a lariat for two! Stretch Plum gets a two-count, then Kawada lays in another boot. Misawa comes back with some elbows and a butterfly suplex. Misawa rolls through and counters Kawada's counter of a tiger suplex, then lays in some more elbows! That was pretty slick. Crossface from Misawa gets a two-count. Splash from Misawa nets another two as Kawada takes a powder on the floor.
Back in, Kawada kicks Misawa in the guts as he was diving off the top. Second rope double-stomp gets two! HUGE powerbomb from Kawada gets two! Stretch Plum is applied, but Misawa gets to the ropes! Misawa comes back with some elbows and a ganmengiri as we draw nearer to the time limit. TIGER DRIVER gets two! Release German from Misawa, and a tiger suplex gets a VERY close two!
They clubber away at each other until Misawa goes for a Tiger Driver ‘85, which Kawada escapes! Ganmengiri from Kawada scores two! Time is nearly up! NASTY sheer-drop brainbuster from Kawada gets two! FOLDING POWERBOMB GETS TWO! Misawa counters a backdrop driver, but Kawada nails a spinning kick! Kawada tries for the backdrop driver again, but the time limit expires! WE HAVE A DRAW! Both guys are still tied atop the leaderboard, but now at 13 points each.
****1/2 - Another belter from All Japan, what a shock. This was the usual greatness from Kawada, but this was an incredible performance from Misawa. Dude didn't break his orbital bone midway into the match or near the end; it was broken 30 seconds in. He gutted through the remaining 29 minutes and 30 seconds and put on a hell of a show with Kawada. Great drama here, hard work, brutal moves and strikes, and killer exchanges throughout. It did feel a bit off at times (understandably so given what happened) and I liked other matches they had better, but this is still absolutely stellar.
APRIL 8th
AJPW Champion Carnival, Night 15 - And we return to All Japan two nights later for…
Toshiaki Kawada vs. Akira Taue - Hello again, Dangerous K! It's been too long. Today, he clashes with his Holy Demon Army compatriot in Akira Taue. Taue is sitting at 10 points here while Kawada is at 13 after Thursday's draw with Misawa.
Kawada draws first blood with some feisty chops. Taue throws Kawada down, but Dangerous K fires back with some kicks until Taue knocks his dick STIFF with a slap to the face! Kawada dodges a couple of big boots and gets one of his own, but then walks into a Nodowa Otoshi! This is NUTS so far! Taue teases a dive, but Kawada scoots away. They brawl a bit on the outside with Kawada getting the better of it with loud chops and kicks. Back in, they exchange BRUTAL chops that sound like gunshots going off. Holy crap! Taue ends that exchange with an enzuigiri.
This ring is mic'd up like crazy, like it's ECW or something. Big DDT from Taue gets two. Taue works over Kawada for a while, but Kawada comes back with some chops and a nasty kick that puts Taue on his duff. Spinning hook kick gets two. To the half-crab, as Kawada steps on Taue's head for added PAIN, then contorts him in ways no man should be.
Kawada relents and grabs an abdominal stretch, then transitions to a double wristlock. Toshiaki Sabre Jr, motherfuckers. That gets some two-counts until Kawada releases. More high-decibel chops from Kawada, who then dumps Taue to the floor. Kawada whips Taue into the barricade, but Taue springs to life with a lariat! Taue drapes Kawada onto the railing and rocks him with a lariat in the ring for two. Taue drops Kawada throat-first onto the ropes a couple of times, drawing some hostility from the crowd. Irish whip is countered by Kawada with a killer roundhouse kick.
Kawada kicks some back and they fight over a brainbuster until Taue scores with an enzuigiri. Kawada comes back with one that hits shoulder, then hits a BIG German suplex on Taue for two! Stretch Plum, but Taue makes the ropes! Kawada gets a corner kick and nails a running boot, then a lariat on Taue seconds later. Back to the Stretch Plum, but Taue again breaks via the ropes. Kawada re-applies the hold and CRANKS that shit. That gets a two-count. More short kicks, but Taue blocks a backdrop driver and gets more sick chops for his trouble. Kawada strikes Taue some more, but Taue throws him down by the throat!
Taue Nodowas Kawada into the corner and lays in the strikes. Outside, Taue pulls up the floor mats and DDTs Kawada onto the bare concrete! Taue tosses Kawada back in, but Kawada blocks a Nodowa attempt…until Taue scores with a BIG one in desperation!
Kawada kicks out at two, but Kawada fires back with a clubbing blow to the back. Taue gets some lariats and a big boot, and a powerbomb gets two! Another powerbomb is countered with a back body drop, and Kawada gets a hook kick out of nowhere! Both men trade blows until Kawada blasts Taue with an enzuigiri. Kawada musters a powerbomb for two! Another enzuigiri sends Taue to the floor, and Kawada gets a vicious boot to Taue while he's on the apron. Taue withstands some Kawada kicks, then NODOWA OTOSHI FROM THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!
Taue tosses Kawada back in, but Kawada wisely rolls out the other side. Taue throws him back in and fights for the cover but can only get two! TOP ROPE NODOWA, but Kawada rolls away! Another Nodowa is attempted, but Kawada clubs Taue out of nowhere! Taue recovers and hits the DYNAMIC BOMB for the three! Taue climbs up to 12 points, one point behind Kawada and Misawa.
****3/4 - Another excellent, exciting match from the Champion Carnival. These guys beat the absolute tar out of each other, but Taue just managed to pull ahead with some heavy firepower to put Kawada away. Kawada’s desperation and selling at the end is a sight to behold. Great striking in this one, including some of the damndest chops you will ever see (or hear). This is up there with Taue vs. Kobashi for match of the tournament thus far.
USWA Championship Wrestling - We're walkin’ in Memphis this week with Dave Brown and Corey Maclin as they run down the day's card and some recent goings-on in the wacky world of the USWA.
Tommy Rich has been fined and suspended for attacking a referee and putting his hands on promoter Randy Hales. Also, “Primetime” Brian Lee is the new USWA Heavyweight Champion, and Razor Ramon is the new USWA World Champion.
Jerry “The King” Lawler comes out and complains about “Superstar” Bill Dundee not giving him his promised rematch for the title, then losing it to a WWF wrestler in Razor Ramon. He calls out Mr. Dundee, but Dave Brown cuts him off as they gotta go to commercial!
We now join “Wildfire” Tommy Rich and his convertible. He addresses his suspension and goes over his history in Memphis. All the girls wanted HIS autograph, and the other wrestlers were JEALOUS! He left Memphis to go down to Georgia, becoming the youngest ever NWA champion.
He came back in 1991, and they keep trying to run him out, but Rich has got THE MONEY to do what he wants! He’s got the FIRE AND DESIRE IN HIS HEART to be the best! He will buy tickets to see the matches and threatens to jump the railing and beat the crap out of Lawler and Dundee. Isn't that a violation of the ticketholder agreement?
Smoky Mountain Wrestling - We start off with Jim Ross, who is with The Gangstas. New Jack addresses the six-man I Quit tag match, sound scared as anything about the upcoming clash with The Undertaker and company. He promises that Undertaker will need to run through everyone else before he gets to New Jack. The others shaking their heads at this notion was pretty funny.
Ricky Morton vs. Al Snow - Well, shit, an actual match! This is building towards a Coal Miner's Glove match between the Rock ‘n Roll Express and Snow and Unabomb. “Simply Sensational” Al Snow comes out to Faster Pussycat's cover of “You're So Vain”, so he at least has that going for him.
Snow starts off clubbering on Ricky, which Ricky absorbs. Ricky gets the advantage with some right hands to send Snow scurrying to the outside. Back in, Ricky presses the attack…but the future idiot mayor slips Snow a loaded glove, which Snow uses to wallop Morton, busting him open in the process.
Snow stays on top with some punchings and stompings, but Morton comes back with several attempts at flash pins, including an impressive bridge spot. Snow regains the offensive, and Unabomb even gets a shot in behind the ref's back. Morton tries to fight back but runs into a nice powerslam from Snow.
Snow keeps up the beatings as the crowd tries to will Morton back into it. Morton escapes a chinlock with a jawbreaker, resulting in a hilariously hammy sell from Snow.
Morton tries to mount a comeback, but dives head-first into the turnbuckle. Uranage from Snow, but Ricky kicks out at two. Snow gets a modified surfboard on Ricky, then follows with a nice spinning backbreaker. Snow goes for a springboard moonsault, but Morton moves! Ricky gets a flying headscissors as he finally mounts a sustained comeback. After some corner punches, Unabomb re-arms Snow with the loaded glove.
As they're fighting over the glove, referee Mark Curtis gets bumped. Taking advantage, Morton clobbers Snow with the loaded glove for the pin and the win!
**** - Sweet sassy molassy, where in the absolute hell did THIS one come from? I was expecting some 2-minute quickie angle disguised as a match, but what we got was a GREAT TV match, far better than pretty much anything I've seen from SMW so far. This was an absolute masterclass in selling, hope spots, timing and garnering sympathy from Ricky Morton. Those fans lived and died with that man. Snow controlled a huge chunk of the match and showcased a lot of really crisp, creative offense that you didn't see much of around that time in North America, and his selling was appropriately cartoony and over the top for his character. Seriously, this one came at me out of nowhere. If you see this match anywhere, give it a look.
Post-match, Unabomb powerbombs Ricky and Robert, then YEETS Mark Curtis across the ring. Afterwards, Snow cuts a hilarious promo about being hit with an alleged lead pipe, then claims he fought off 15-20 guys, “3-4 of ‘em had a gun, 5-6 had a knife”. He does not give a RAT'S REAR END about the shape the Rock ‘n Roll Express are in for tonight's match. Everybody brawls to end the show! WE'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT IN JOHNSON CITY!
WCW Saturday Night - Before we get to ECW 3 Way Dance, we hop aboard The Mothership.
THE FOLLOWING IS PAID FOR BY RIC FLAIR.
We get another advert urging WCW to overturn his retirement and allow him to compete. BE FAIR TO FLAIR! We then join Richard Morgan Fliehr, who is with a very lifelike and totally not cardboard Hulk Hogan.
He rants about Hogan sending him to the life of a COMMON MAN, a life of COMPLACENCY. He urges Hulk to DO THE RIGHT THING and use his influence to help expedite Flair's reinstatement. He promises never to commit any more transgressions against Hogan and pledges to be a HULKAMANIAC if he were to do that.
We now catch up with Jimmy Hart in the WCW mail room. “The Dubya See Dubya” has been getting THOUSANDS of letters and cards per week, including tons of fan mail for The Renegade. Riiiiiight.
Hart throws it to a video package that highlights the Wish.com Warrior doing VERY Ultimate Warrior things to VERY Ultimate Warrior music.
Sting vs. “Stunning” Steve Austin - Welcome to the Dive, Steve Austin! We have matches from both SMW AND WCWSN? Blessed day!
Austin is returning from a knee injury for this match. I totally forgot that he was even still in WCW at this point. This is pretty much nearing the end of Austin’s run in WCW as he'd be oh-so-infamously cut loose in July after sustaining a triceps injury. He has Col. Robert Parker with him.
The commentary team brings up the impending tournament for the United States title, which was recently stripped from Vader. Apparently, this was because Vader was the UWFi champion, and they didn't want him doing jobs while holding their title, so WCW took the title off him to move it along to someone else. This also explains the bullshit finishes to Vader's matches with Hogan.
Ah, good ol’ Surfer Sting, or, based on his blue and white facepaint, Smurfer Sting.
Sting works over the arm to kick things off until Austin grabs a headlock and works that for a while. Sting comes back with a press slam but misses a dropkick. Austin misses an elbowdrop, and Sting works over ye olde side headlock for a while. Austin goes to the corner to break it and gets a cheap shot. Sting gets a slingshot (that didn't exactly look good) and a roll-up for two. Austin powders for a bit, but gets suplexed back in. A Sting splash hits knees, and Austin takes over with clubberin’. Austin secures a Boston crab (B'Austin Crab?) and grabs the ropes. Austin relases the hold and continues working over the lower back.
Austin lays in some chops, but Sting rallies back with some clotheslines and a facecrusher. Sting grabs some corner punches and eventually grabs a sleeper. The hold is broken after Austin drags them both outside, but he eats some post. Back in, Sting goes for a top-rope splash, but misses! Austin misses HIS own splash, then we get a tombstone reversal sequence that ends with Sting planting Austin with one. Austin breaks the count via the ropes, but Sting grabs an Oklahoma roll for the pin!
*** - This was a perfectly solid TV match as you would expect from this pairing. It was a bit slow in places and a few spots didn't connect as intended, but Austin mostly did well controlling the match in one of his first matches back from injury (if it wasn’t his first), and Sting's comebacks were timed well. The finishing sequence was also quite fun.
ECW 3 Way Dance - To finish off a busy as hell week, we have some stuff from ECW’s latest supershow. We pick things up near the end of Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven, as Raven nails Tommy with a DDT and a missile dropkick.
The camera cuts to Stevie Richards and Beulah McGillicutty, making her first appearance in ECW. Basically, she was the root of the disdain between Raven and Dreamer as they both met her at summer camp as youths. She broke Raven’s heart and things went sour. Richards tracked her down, much to Raven's initial dismay as he claims she was overweight and unattractive all those years go. Of course, that was no longer the case.
Dreamer gets a DDT out of a hiptoss, but the camera cuts to Richards forcing a kiss on Beulah, who then slaps Stevie. Stevie starts to STRANGLE Beulah, which draws the attention Tommy…but it was a RUSE! Beulah blinds Dreamer with hairspray. Superkick from Stevie and DDT from Raven on the floor secure the win.
ECW World Television Championship: 2 Cold Scorpio (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero - Welcome to the Dive, Eddie and Scorpio! In fact, this is Eddie’s ECW debut, and he's rocking the Los Gringos Locos gear. Man, talk about a roster addition that REALLY paid dividends in terms of getting eyes on the product.
Paul Heyman apparently wanted to bring in Los Gringos Locos as a duo, but Art Barr's death prevented that one from happening. Scorp is rocking heavy shoulder tape here.
The crowd seems heavily into Guerrero as they hit the mat to start and work some NIFTY counter wrestling for a bit. Eddie grabs a Saito suplex, causing Scorpio to bail. Back in, Scorpio rejects a handshake, and they hit some quick pinfalls. Scorpio offers a handshake himself, which Eddie accepts…then turns into a short clothesline!
Eddie continues with dirty tactics to the delight of the crowd. Yeah, like lying, cheating, and stealing would EVER get over. Senton atomico and a Scorpion deathlock, but Scorp immediately counters out. Guerrero scores a dropkick out of nowhere, then hits a brainbuster and a frog splash for two! Guerrero grabs a chinlock to maintain control, then pokes Scorpio in the eye! Scorpio picks up the pace and comes back with a Japanese armdrag and a dropkick. Superkick and a bicycle kick from Scorpio, then he throws Eddie into the railing a couple of times. Suplex back into the ring gets two. Butterfly suplex gets another two, but Guerrero gets a mule kick to Scorpio’s apparently sizeable junk and follows with a clothesline.
Eddie teases a dive that Scorp moves away from…but Eddie follows with a HUGE plancha from the top rope to the floor. This draws the trademark “OH MY GOD!” (Is that Private Party?) from Joey Styles and big “EDDIE” chants from the crowd. Back in, floatover fisherman's suplex gets two. That was pretty boss. Eddie scores a tornado DDT for another close two! Scorpio tries a top rope move, but Eddie crotches him, surprisingly not breaking the turnbuckle. Frankensteiner gets another two for Guerrero. Another one is teased, but Eddie backflips off the top, and Scorpio follows with a cross-body for two. Scorpio gets a close two off a punch. BEAUTIFUL moonsault gets a VERY CLOSE two!
Powerbomb from Scorpio, but he stalls for a bit before hitting a flipping legdrop. After some posturing, Scorpio nails the Tumbleweed…but pulls Eddie up at two (at least, that's what it looked like; it's being played up like Eddie kicked out). Another superkick lands, but Eddie gets a front roll-up out of nowhere for the pin and the TV title! After the match, the Code of Honor is adhered to, and Eddie promises a rematch down the line.
**** - A fast-paced, exciting match here. Eddie absolutely delivered in his ECW debut, giving us fun character stuff alongside the pristine technical work and high flying. Scorpio held up his end quite well with some nifty offense, though I could have lived without some of the stalling between moves. Great stuff.
ECW World Tag Team Championship: Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko (c) vs. The Public Enemy vs. Rick Steiner & Taz - So, I bet you're wondering to yourself, “Where the heck is Sabu”? Well, gentle readers, Sabu ended up double-booking himself for this show and a New Japan event the same day. He didn’t want to bail on New Japan because he had consistent work and was in line for a push, and he didn't want to risk losing out on that gravy train. According to legend, he believed with his hard, smooth wrestler brain that he was going to be able to work Japan, then fly back to Philly in time for the ECW show via the power of TIME ZONES.
Sabu kept promising that he could make this Santa-on-Christmas-Eve bullshit happen, even when Paul Heyman allegedly pitched an angle to take him out of the match before the show to avoid false-advertising the main event. However, when Tod Gordon called Sabu the morning of the show and got a voicemail stating he was still in Japan, Paul E. got his answer, and Sabu was sacked from ECW. Paul E. cut a promo on this show, running Sabu into the ground and turning the crowd against him and getting any potential heat off of himself or ECW. “FUCK SABU” chants were not uncommon during the show.
Fear not, however; Sabu will be back before the end of the year after a brief and lackluster WCW run, and all will be forgiven. I can’t blame Sabu for favoring Japan because they were paying him FAR more than ECW was, but double-booking yourself like that is just foolishness. If Heyman was truly trying to offer Sabu an out, he should have taken it. It’s also possible that Heyman kept pestering Sabu to work the ECW show and Sabu said he would just to get him off his back.
OK, to the match. Say what you will about The Public Enemy, but watching the crowd wave their arms to “Here Comes the Hotstepper” is fun as hell. They go out to the stands and present a TPE jersey to Big Ben, an ECW Arena regular.
Benoit and Malenko come out and immediately brawl with TPE without even waiting for Taz and Steiner. Taz and Steiner come in and suplex and clothesline the crap out of everyone to stand tall.
Team Staz continues throwing everyone around like Wrestling Buddies with various suplexes. Benoit manages his own German on Rick, but Rick no-sells it and lands a STEINERLINE and a top-rope bulldog. Steiner awkwardly debates going to the floor as everybody else brawls around ringside. Taz hands Steiner a cookie sheet, and Rick blasts Rocco Rock with it. After a bit, Rocco tries an Asai moonsault, but Rick (kind of) catches him and nails HIS own version of a Steiner Screwdriver! OK, that was awesome.
Johnny Grunge breaks up the pin, and we go back go some meandering brawling while Steiner keeps control of the ring. Flyboy hits Benoit with a couple of frying pans, then hits Steiner with them, sending him reeling. Taz takes Rock down and whacks him in the penis with a frying pan handle. Steiner and TPE brawl in the crowd as Benoit and Malenko double-team Taz. Flying headbutt into a jackknife pin eliminates Taz and Steiner!
It's now down to The Public Enemy vs. Benoit and Malenko for the belts. However, Taz and Steiner continue beating the shit out of everyone else, including an awkward bit where Taz accidentally suplexes Rock onto Rick as Rick was suplexing Malenko. Taz and Steiner FINALLY leave…or not. Steiner blasts the opposition with Paul E.’s Zack Morris cellphone! OK, NOW they're gone. Grunge and Rock are busted open as the Triple Threat tandem work over TPE for a bit.
Grunge sneaks a blow to the Malenko family jewels and hits a Vader Bomb for one. Grunge goes wild with a chair as he is sporting the crimson mask. Malenko blocks a chair and takes over as Rock beats on Benoit with a crutch. More brawling ensues as Rock smashes Benoit in the head with a soda, prompting Joey to say “The choice of a new generation!”. My God, there's a marketing slogan I haven't thought about in a dog's age. Grunge works over Dean with a steel cable (I guess?) as the other two brawl near the Eagle's Nest. Rock DDTs Benoit on the floor and places him on a table. Somersault senton…but Benoit moves, leaving Rock to eat the table himself!
In the ring, Grunge continues with the cable abuse until Benoit and Rock return to the ring. Benoit and Malenko double-team Rock for a bit, including a brainbuster from Dean. They bring in a table and Benoit superplexes Rocco through it! They walk around the ring as Dean taunts Sabu, leading to “FUCK SABU” chants from the ECW faithful. Rock is tossed, and Grunge is double-suplexed. After much stalling and “you cover him; no, you cover him”, Grunge kicks out. Double dropkick, but Grunge gets his foot on the rope. Grunge comes back with a double DDT. Rock lands the Drive-By on Malenko for the pin and the titles!
** - Yeah, wasn't entirely feeling this one. I like a good chaotic brawl, but this was incredibly disjointed, meandering, and awkward in places. The selling was also all over the place, especially from TPE and Steiner (though Steiner’s was more deliberate). Steiner as a last-minute replacement was fun, I suppose, but it hurt the dynamic of everything going in. I’m not sure how much better the actual match would have been with Sabu, but he at least figured into the story and could have given the match a bit more heat. This is also the second match of the night where the champion(s) were being arrogant near the end, playing with their food instead of going for the kill, and it cost them.
Post-match, The Pitbulls run in and beat down the new champs.
Well, there you have it. WrestleMania is in the books, and what a weird show that was. We also got (some) of an angle from RAW that pretty much set the trajectory for The Fed for a long time to come. Champion Carnival continues to produce the goods, and ECW gave us some more fun, and we had a hell of a pleasant surprise from Smoky Mountain. This is one of the best parts of this project. Sure, I know that the Pillars, the joshi wrestlers, AAA, ECW, etc. are going to deliver nearly every time out, but it's these matches that come out of nowhere that make things truly exciting.
NEXT TIME: It’ll be another busy week. In fact, Saturday, April 15th is going to be one hell of a loaded day of wrestling. On that day alone, we have ECW Hostile City Showdown, SMW Bluegrass Brawl, the Champion Carnival finals, the first show from the brand-new GAEA promotion, not to mention the usual USWA stuff and WCW Saturday Night. Outside of April 15th, we’ll also have more Champion Carnival block matches, a NJPW juniors tag, and, most importantly, MORE BLUE BLOODS!
See you then!