Ryan's Dive into '95 - Part 30 (7/23 - 7/29)
We're In Your House...again! Plus, a Dress Up Wild Fight, AJPW singles actions, vignettes out the wazoo, SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP, more SMW/USWA feud action, and more!
If you haven’t read it already, please check out my introductory article that explains what this series is all about. As a reminder, footage is sourced from the Goodhelmet 1995 Yearbook, unless otherwise stated.
How ya now?
We’ve got a lot on our plate this week at The Dive. There’s the second In Your House show, a DRESS UP WILD FIGHT, a rematch from the first In Your House, a couple of AJPW singles matches, the continuation of the red hot SMW/USWA feud, one of the greatest promos ever, and several new characters are introduced via vignettes. All that and MORE await us!
It’s a long one, so buckle up.
Well…
JULY 23rd
JWP - Welcome back, JWP! It’s been FAR too long. The match below was taped on 7/9 but broadcast on 7/23.
Dress Up Wild Fight: Mayumi Ozaki vs. Dynamite Kansai - I LOVED the earlier Dress Up Wild Fight these two had earlier this year. In fact, it was the first non-AJPW match I awarded the highly sought-after (well, I’d like to think so) five stars to during this review series. Needless to say, expectations are sky high here. The Dress Up Wild Fight is JWP’s signature ‘grudge match’ that they bust out for heated feuds. I love this graphic with all the Lisa Frank colors swirling within the text.
As a reminder, a Dress Up Wild Fight is JWP’s version of a come-as-you-are street fight, so the ladies aren’t in their traditionally colorful wrestling gear. Ozaki's music plays for a while, but she doesn't come out. Moments later, the camera finds her just chillin’ in the crowd. By gum, I think she’s plotting something!
It’s NIGHT DANGER time! You all know what that means: MUSIC BREAK!
Ozaki lies in wait brandishing her ever-present chain. Kansai comes out decked in murder fatigues, looking absolutely terrifying. She spots Ozaki in the crowd and the brawl is on! Kansai smacks Ozaki with an umbrella, then with a chair! They make it to the ring where Ozaki asserts her will with the chain, but not for long. Kansai snatches the chain and pulls Ozaki into a HUGE backdrop suplex!
A chain-assisted lariat gets two, then Kansai dumps Ozaki to the floor. They brawl in the crowd as Kansai tosses and kicks Ozaki repeatedly into one of those indestructible Japanese tables.
Back in, Kansai beats the crud out of Ozaki with the chain and chokes her with it. Big piledriver gets two for Dynamite. After a chinlock, Ozaki comes back with a clothesline, wraps the chain around Kansai's neck, and rams her repeatedly into the turnbuckle padding!
Ozaki continues the literal chain-wrestling, choking Kansai and smashing the chain into her jaw a couple of times. Ozaki ties Kansai's wrists together and kicks the crap out of her! She then ties Kansai's hands to the guardrail and wears her out with a chair! Back in, Kansai kicks a charging Ozaki and THE CHAINS ARE OFF! She catches a diving Ozaki and hits a Northern Lights Suplex for two.
Ozaki backdrops Kansai out and again attacks her with the chain. Ozaki collars her opponent and flings her into the railing a couple of times. They go into the crowd, where Kansai scores a lariat and smacks Ozaki with the chain. We head backstage for some more brawling, then Kansai drags Ozaki up several flights of stairs. Kansai then tries to throw Ozaki off the balcony!
Ozaki fights back and tries to toss Kansai as you can hear fans screeching in terror. They move away from the balcony and brawl their way downstairs and into the crowd proper. Back to ringside as Ozaki pounds at Kansai with a chair like a railroad spike, then it's back into the crowd. Ozaki makes a stack of chairs and hits a facecrusher from high up onto the pile!
After a bit, Kansai is hurled into the barricade and she is BUSTED OPEN. We're back in the ring as Ozaki continues to punish Kansai with the chain. She wraps the chain around her boot and stomps Kansai a few times. Ozaki scores a DDT and hits a top rope chained kneedrop for two. Ozaki then starts to undo the top turnbuckle, that lunatic!
She grabs the steel connector and bashes Kansai with it! Kansai kicks it out of her grip and lands another huge back suplex, then unhooks a turnbuckle of her own! Kansai then tapes the steel connector to her own shin! Oh, fuck. Kansai then lays in some steel-assisted kicks, with a kick to the head sending Ozaki to the floor. Into the crowd again as Kansai piledrives Ozaki through a table!
Kansai grabs the chain and drags Ozaki, who is now busted open, into the guardrails. Back in, Kansai nails some lariats, but Ozaki sneaks in a German suplex for two. Kansai regains the advantage and brings a table into the ring. Splash Mountain on the table is attempted, but Ozaki slams Kansai off the table. Soon after, Ozaki slyly dodges a kick and grabs a legbar on the steel-laden shin of Kansai!
Ozaki release the hold and retrieves the steel from Kansai's shin, then bashes her in the head with it! Ozaki flattens the table and powerbombs Kansai onto it! Kansai kicks out at two! Twisting senton gets another two! Splash Mountain is attempted by Kansai, but Ozaki slams her face into the table, then Ozaki hits a sunset flip powerbomb onto the floor! Front flip senton off the apron, but back in, Kansai hits a backdrop driver onto the table for two! Kansai sets up the table and piledrives Ozaki through it!
Ozaki kicks out at two! Kansai binds her with the chain and goes for a powerbomb…but Ozaki catches her in the rolling cradle that scored the win last time…but Kansai kicks out! Kansai wraps her up on the chains again and goes for Splash Mountain, but Ozaki strangles her with the chain! Ozaki then whacks her with the broken table and hits a half-and-half suplex, but Kansai kicks out! Ozaki wraps the ring rope around Kansai's throat!
Another half-and-half, but Kansai barely rolls out. Ozaki sets up a chair, sits Kansai on it, and wraps her with the chain. Dropkicks to the prone Kansai, but she again kicks out! One more half-and-half gets the three! Ozaki wins!
**** - This was, as advertised, another wild fight between these two. I'm always a sucker for the Ozaki/Kansai dynamic, there were some creative and brutal sequences, and I dug the ending where Ozaki had to get a more definitive pinfall as opposed to the flash pin she used to eke out the win in the first match. She had to rely more on brutality than her wrestling skill to get the duke this go-round.
However, while it was still a crazy, fun brawl, it lacked the manic energy of the first one. Portions of this match began to seriously drag and feel repetitive (the crowd brawling especially). It went about 36 minutes, a good 10-15 minutes longer than it should have, and felt like a retread of the earlier match at times. Overall, though, it's still great. Just don't expect to love it nearly as much as the March 17th match.
WWF In Your House 2 - We now come to the second in the WWF’s series of budget-friendly PPV offerings. Unlike the first one, they don’t give away an actual house. It took place in Nashville, TN and scored about 280,000 PPV buys, down from the 332,000 buys from the first In Your House, but up from the dire 150K King of the Ring drew.
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Shawn Michaels - BREE WOO NATION RISE UP. Jeff Jarrett had ‘performed’ his smash hit “With My Baby Tonight” earlier in the evening, thus setting an impossible bar for the rest of the universe to overcome. Shawn comes in as The Fed's hottest babyface, getting a huge reaction here. Jarrett does a bit of the ol’ stalleroo here to start.
They trade punches to start, with Jarrett bumping and selling like nuts for Shawn's right hand. Jarrett gets an armdrag out of a lockup and blesses us with the Fargo Strut! After a fast sequence, Jeff clocks Michaels with a typically great Memphis punch to send him bailing. Back in, during an early sequence, Shawn pokes Double J in the eye! That cheating bastard!
Shawn maintains the advantage and clotheslines Jeff over the top, then COPIES THE STRUT! RUDE! Jeff, disgusted by this display of thievery and unsportsmanlike conduct, threatens to walk out of the match. Jarrett rolls in to break the count a couple of times and collects himself on the floor. Shawn finally comes out and attacks Jeff, but Jarrett intercepts an axehandle with a fist in the gut to briefly take over. Shawn dodges a dropkick and an interfering Roadie, then tosses a charging Jarrett onto Roadie!
Shawn follows with a dive onto both guys on the floor, then lands a baseball slide dropkick. Back in, Shawn charges at Jeff, but he gets backdropped out in a RIDICULOUS bump over the corner! Like, Shawn landed right on his back on the floor. Jarrett takes control and hits a gourdbuster in the ring for a close two. Jarrett hits the abdominal stretch, using the ropes and the Roadie for assistance like a good heel.
Earl Hebner catches the assistance and kicks the hands to break it up. Shawn tries to mount a comeback, but Jarrett snuffs that out with a big DDT. Jeff continues working over Shawn while the Roadie interferes behind the ref's back. However, Shawn pulls Roadie into the ring and moves, causing Jarrett to guillotine Roadie!
Shawn again tries a comeback, but takes another massive bump after getting whipped into the corner. Roadie leaps with a clothesline off the apron as Jarrett looks for a countout win. HBK makes it back in and rolls through a crossbody for two. They trade pin attempts until Jeff hits a BEAUTY of a dropkick on Shawn for two. Jeff hits the sleeper.
Shawn back-suplexes out and crawls into a cover for a very close two. Shawn hits the flying clothesline and kips up! His special meter is full! Shawn lands a flying forearm and gets the flying axehandle for two. Beautiful flying elbow nets another very close two! Shawn then gives Jarrett a severe case of ringpost to the dick.
Shawn ascends the ropes but Roadie crotches him, allowing a superplex from Jarrett. Figure four is attempted, but Shawn rolls him up for two. Jarrett tries for the figure four again, but Shawn kicks him into the ref. Shawn looks for Sweet Chin Music, but Roadie clips his leg from behind! Flying body press from Jeff gets another near fall, then Jeff whips Shawn, who reverses. Roadie accidentally trips Jarrett! Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music for the win and his third IC title!
****1/2 - This was an excellent bout. Both guys’ respective styles meshed quite well together with Shawn's high-flying blending with Jarrett's old-school Memphis stuff. The Roadie interference added an extra wrinkle to the match and the drama built nicely with some good near-falls. People will rightfully marvel at Shawn's insane bumping and highspots here, but I'm equally as enthralled with Jarrett's punches, selling, masterful pacing, and heel psychology.
It's a shame we didn't get more Michaels/Jarrett matches because they had strong chemistry here. The best WWF match so far this year from an admittedly shallow pool, and it’s gotta be up there for best matches Jarrett’s ever put out.
The concert performance and the botched interference was supposed to lead to a break-up angle between Jarrett and Roadie, but both guys were unhappy with how fast everything was unfolding and ended up walking out of the company in the middle of the show. Jeff would be back in December 1995, but would leave shortly after due to a contract dispute. Road Dogg would spend some time in Smoky Mountain wrestling and return later in 1996. He would base his entire gimmick on “With My Baby Tonight”, revealing himself as the one who sang the track that Jeff lip-synced over during the In Your House 2 performance.
Slapnuts and Road Dogg would cross paths during the Attitude Era, primarily in tag matches, but they would never really have a proper blow-off based on this particular angle.
We cut to the ending of Diesel (c) vs. Sycho Sid in a Lumberjack match for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship.
Oh! Since I ran down the heel lumberjacks a couple of weeks ago, let's do a babyface lumberjack roll call:
Shawn Michaels
Bam Bam Bigelow
Razor Ramon
Savio Vega
The 1-2-3 Kid
Billy and Bart Gunn
MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK
Adam Bomb
Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly
Duke “The Dumpster” Droese
Travis and Troy of Tekno Team 2000 (MY BOYS!)
“Make a Difference” Fatu (more on him later!)
Blanka
Zangief
Chun-Li
Guile
E. Honda
As brought up before, the babyface side of the roster is much more stacked than the heel side, even with some truly tragic gimmicks in there. You don’t even get all the heavy hitters like Bret Hart or The Undertaker here.
Sid works over Diesel as we get a replay of King Mabel avalanching Diesel against the ringpost to set up YOUR Summerslam main event.
Sid hits the powerbomb but stops to celebrate with his lumberjacks instead of, you know, GOING FOR THE PIN. Sid, you silly goose. He finally goes for the cover, but Diesel kicks out! What a surprise! Diesel backdrops out of another powerbomb, then Sid heads outside and goes after the babyface lumberjacks! Shawn Michaels hits a flying axehandle to Sid to re-ignite that feud and set up a Summerslam match that ended up not happening. More on THAT in the future.
Diesel goes for a jackknife, but IRS runs in and gets immediately yeeted. Other heels run in and get dispatched, then Diesel hits a big boot for the win. Mabel wants at Big Daddy Cool but is held back by the other heels. Diesel celebrates with the babyfaces to take us home.
The match wasn't much, but the lumberjacks at least made for an unique atmosphere.
Other shit that happened:
Skip defeated Aldo Montoya in a dark match before the live broadcast.
The Roadie pinned The 1-2-3 Kid after a PILEDRIVER OFF THE DAMN ROPES in a surprisingly good opener.
Men on a Mission defeated Razor Ramon & Savio Vega when Mabel pinned The Bad Guy after a belly-to-belly suplex.
Bam Bam Bigelow pinned Henry O. Godwinn via roll-up after Godwinn missed a knee drop off the ropes. Match was flat and the ending was rushed due to what was possibly a legit injury on the part of the pig man.
Yokozuna & Owen Hart (c) successfully defended their WWF Tag Team Championship against The Allied Powers after a Yoko leg drop on Lex. Quite the lackluster way to cap off what would end up being Lex Luger’s last ever PPV match with the WWF.
In a post-show dark match, Bret Hart pinned Jean-Pierre Lafitte via roll-up. These guys always had good chemistry. Kinda wish this was on the PPV broadcast, but it’s on the official VHS release.
The Undertaker defeated Kama in a casket match. Like Hart/Lafitte, this was included on the VHS release.
JULY 24th
AJPW Summer Action Series 1995, Night 18 - This is the final night of the first of two Summer Action Series tours. Get ready for TWO singles matches with the Pillars!
Kenta Kobashi [2] vs. Akira Taue [4] - This is the finals of a Triple Crown Title Contendership League that took place during the series. It was a four-man round robin field also featuring Johnny Ace and The Patriot. Kobashi needs a win here while Taue can take the tourney with a draw or a win.
Kobashi unloads the chops to start as both guys work a fast pace with lots of countering until Taue hits a big boot. Kobashi comes back and drops Taue throat-first on the ropes, but Taue hits a Nodowa Otoshi on the floor! Back in, Dynamic Bomb…gets two! That move fails to dispatch Kobashi, unlike in their Champion Carnival meeting.
Kobashi seeks asylum on the floor, but Taue rolls him back in for another two-count. Taue continues the advantage, hitting a top-rope elbow for another near-fall. Kobashi fights off a couple Nodowa attempts but continues to take a shellacking from Taue. Kobashi comes back with a rear kick and a Fameasser!
Shoulderblock sends Taue bailing, then after some resistance and beatings, Kobashi hits a powerbomb on the floor! Kobashi drags the corpse of Taue back in and puts the boots to him. Powerbomb with a jackknife roll-up gets two, but Taue rolls out of a moonsault attempt. After some barricade-related offense, Kobashi gets another two count. Big vertical suplex gets two for Kobashi, then he traps Taue in an arm-capture facelock.
Taue escapes via rope break, then Kobashi piles on the kicks and chops. Taue comes back by kicking Kobashi in the damn head! Kobashi retaliates with a flying knee in the corner, then they hit a couple of sleeper reveal sequences that end with a BIG lariat from Kobashi! Kenta dives off the ropes, but Taue kicks him on the way down, then fucking VAPORIZES Kobashi (and almost his own hamstring) with a bicycle kick!
Shortly after, they fight over a Nodowa on the apron…but Kobashi fights back with some boots on the apron, then a few guillotine legdrops. On the outside, Kobashi legdrops Taue on the guardrail. Back in, Kobashi unloads with chops and lands a couple of DDTs for a near-fall. Kobashi finally applies the elusive SLEEPER that he had been going after for a lot of the match.
Kobashi doggedly maintains the sleeper until Taue collapses into the ropes. Taue fires back with an enzuigiri, but runs into another sleeper! Kobashi sinks it in and won't let that sucker go, even keeping it on when they roll out of the ring! Kobashi releases it to break the count, then reapplies it on the apron and DRAGS TAUE BACK IN like Freddy Krueger does Marge at the end of the first Nightmare on Elm Street.
Kobashi works the hold in the middle of the ring as Taue appears to fade…but he kicks out of a pin attempt at two! Kobashi hits the moonsault…but Taue kicks out! Kobashi is getting desperate at this point as the time limit nears. Kobashi hits a bulldog after having his powerbomb countered, then hits the powerbomb…but Taue rises and immediately stumbles to the floor! Kobashi follows him out and tries a powerbomb on the concrete…but Taue backdrops out of it as Kobashi lands on the bare floor!
Kobashi makes it back in and immediately gets the crap beaten out of him by Taue. Nodowa Otoshi…but Kobashi kicks out! A series of lariats follow, but Kobashi thwarts a top rope Nodowa and gets a sunset flip for two. After some battling, Kobashi gets his OWN Nodowa Otoshi…but the bell rings as we've reached 30 minutes! WE HAVE A DRAW! Taue wins the mini-league, securing a future Triple Crown title shot.
****1/2 - Another great one here, but not quite as engaging or dynamic as the Champion Carnival match these guys had. Kobashi and Taue both let the strikes fly, and I quite enjoyed the story here. Taue wanted to try to end Kobashi ASAP, so he unleashed his biggest moves early in the match, but as Kobashi survived and built some offense of his own, Taue fought to simply survive the full half-hour so he can win the tournament. That sleeper sequence was something else, too.
Triple Crown Heavyweight Championship: Mitsuharu Misawa (c) vs. Toshiaki Kawada - I don’t have to tell you how much history these two fellas have, but Dangerous K did recently score his first pinfall win EVER on Misawa in the classic 6/9/95 tag match, so he’s looking to capitalize on that momentum to collect a singles win and the Triple Crown.
The bell rings and the crowd is AMPED. We have another fast, counter-filled start until Kawada kicks Misawa in the back, but Misawa blocks a ganmengiri. Misawa goes for his own ganmengiri, but Kawada coldly dumps him on his head! Kawada comes back with a couple of nasty kicks as Misawa is still nursing the orbital bone injury. Misawa takes some time to shake off the cobwebs and comes back in, and it's elbow trading time! Kawada elbows Misawa's eye!
Kawada kicks the shit out of Misawa in the corner, focusing on that injury. Kawada lands some short kicks in the middle of the ring, with one big one at the end to send Misawa to the floor. Kawada hits a powerbomb on the floor, then hits a kneedrop off the apron!
Back in, Misawa tries to come back, but Kawada nails a ganmengiri and applies a sleeper, but Misawa makes the ropes. Kawada pelts Misawa with some kicks, but Misawa fights back with BRUTAL elbows to send Kawada to the floor! Kawada crawls back in and collapses as Misawa tries an Irish whip! Misawa smashes him with another elbow and dumps him on his head with a release German for two. Misawa hits another German, and Kawada tries to fighting-spirit his way to his feet…but ends up collapsing and rolling to the floor!
Misawa rolls him back in and looks for a top rope move, but Kawada rolls away. Misawa applies the crossface!
Kawada makes the ropes, so Misawa goes for a German, but Kawada comes back with a neck chop and a lariat to the back of the head! Big boot and a lariat scores a two-count, then Kawada claws away at the eye and locks in a sleeper. Misawa breaks via the ropes, and we get a chop vs. elbow strike battle that ends with a kick to the orbital bone! Backdrop driver from Kawada, then another!
Misawa kicks out at 2, but Kawada soon locks in the Stretch Plum! Kawada gets a near-fall off of that, but Misawa fights off a powerbomb attempt and lands an elbow. Kawada comes back with a ganmengiri and a release German of his own! Powerbomb gets two!
Kawada continues on the offensive, getting another powerbomb for a closer two! Enzuigiri lands, but Misawa reverses a backdrop driver…but Kawada quickly retaliates with a big boot and his OWN elbow smash! Both guys trade elbows and boots! Misawa comes out on top with his own big boot and a rolling elbow! Kawada gets his shoulder up at 2, then kicks Misawa in the leg and lands another backdrop driver! Misawa hits an elbow and another German suplex for two, then lands a tiger suplex for another close call!
Misawa lands a couple more elbows and a release tiger suplex for another near-fall. Another release tiger suplex and two elbow smashes finally puts Kawada away! Misawa retains!
****3/4 - This was another absolute war, with sturdy strikes and great selling from both guys. Kawada went at Misawa with hard strikes and aggressively attacked his injured eye in a bid to defeat his bitter rival. Misawa was pretty much dominated during this match, but weathered the storm long enough to finally put Kawada away. The ending also further established how deadly Misawa's elbows were, though I would have liked if it took just a little more to put Kawada down after him being on top for so much of the match. It doesn't reach the same levels of drama of some of their other classics, but it was still excellent.
WWF Monday Night RAW - We start with a very quick vignette where some sort of golden dust blows away, revealing the name of *inhales deeply* “Goldust” while a disembodied Howard Finkel announces him as if it’s a ring intro. This would of course turn out to be Dustin Rhodes, fresh off his WCW shitcanning after the King of the Road match in March. If nothing else, a quick video like this is a neat way to build curiosity and intrigue.
Goldy doesn't show up until In Your House 4 in October, so we've got a ways to go. There's plenty of vignettes still to come, but no matches on the Goodhelmet compilation. Maybe I’ll cover his debut match as bonus content, who knows?
“I figure it’s some guy’s name. Some guy named ‘Goldust’.”
We then hit the streets of San Francisco, California and check in with former Headshrinker Fatu. After a series of office and talent releases that resulted in Sione, Afa, and Captain Lou Albano being given their walking papers, the WWF kept Fatu and opted to repackage him. No longer a Samoan savage, Fatu is now all about the positivity, leveraging his real-life street upbringing to encourage the youth of 1995 to abstain from drugs. Because drugs are bad, mmmkay?
He makes time for the locals and waxes nostalgic about watching the matches at the Cow Palace.
Fun fact: when showing the Cow Palace, the video cuts to an electronic marquee that flashed “WWF” on it. An electronic marquee that the Cow Palace did not actually have. The Fed just spliced in footage from another arena (probably from the Honda Center in Anaheim) and added it to this vignette. How peculiar.
I will say that the message behind this gimmick is good, and it’s nice to have a positive role model for street youth (fuck, I sound old), but it really felt like something from 5-10 years prior, back when Saturday morning cartoons had PSAs at the end of each episode. It didn’t really land with the youth of the day. Fatu also lost a lot, which didn’t exactly help his “winners say no to drugs” message. It took a couple more repackagings, an extra 100+ pounds, a sumo thong, and some sick dance moves before Fatu finally got over as a singles.
Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Hakushi - It’s a rematch from the opening contest of the first ever In Your House show. Vince McMahon on commentary promises a HUMDINGER.
Hakushi reaches into a burlap sack and pulls out the severed head of Bret “The Hitman” Hart. That’s just morbidly obese!
Shinja distracts Bret during his entrance, allowing Hakushi to attack from behind and begin the match on the offensive. He tries a pump splash (with serious hangtime) but eats some knees, then Bret mounts a comeback with an atomic drop and a clothesline. Bret continues to work over Hakushi until Jinsei reverses an Irish whip, resulting in Bret careening back-first into the corner post!
Hakushi follows with a sliding dropkick to the prone Hitman as RAW ROLLS ON!
And we're back with Hakushi landing a nice handspring elbow, then follows up with a proto-Bronco Buster. Hakushi hits a couple of clotheslines, but Bret counters another one into a Russian legsweep. That comeback is short-lived as Hakushi nails a spinning back kick and soon gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Hakushi continues to work over the back, landing a splash on the back for two. Bret tries to fight out of a nerve hold, but Hakushi sends him to the floor. He teases a dive as RAW ROLLS ON!
And we're back with Hakushi landing a fucking SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP! On WWF television! In 1995!
Bret fights back, hitting a double noggin knocker on Hakushi and Shinja, then lands a pump splash to the floor on both guys. Back in, Bret hits a backbreaker and an elbow for two, then he punches out an interfering Shinja. Hart lands a bulldog for two and an inside cradle for another near-fall, but Hakushi retaliates with a back suplex. Flying headbutt misses, and Bret follows up with a superplex. Bret applies the Sharpshooter! Hakushi gives it up! Bret wins!
Post-match, Hart beats the crap out of Shinja, culminating in a piledriver to write him off television and out of the promotion.
Jean-Pierre Lafitte comes out to steal the sack with Bret's head in it because he’s a PIRATE. So now they're setting up a rivalry between Bret and Lafitte while Bret is feuding with Jerry Lawler and Isaac Yankem at the same time. Much of 1995 is Bret carrying the WWF lower-midcard on his back while Diesel stinks up the main event. The matches were great (with Hakushi and Lafitte in particular, and he managed to make Yankem not look completely worthless for at least one match), but it was still such a waste of Bret.
***1/2 - This was a great little TV match here, nearly on par with their In Your House bout. Bret did a great job bumping and selling for Hakushi, making him look deadly even in defeat. This match is best known for Hakushi busting out the Space Flying Tiger Drop. That had to blow a lot of minds watching back then as you never had anything remotely like that on American television.
It's now time for The Report Card with Dean Douglas.
Yes, this is indeed Shane Douglas, fresh off his huge ECW run and repackaged as an educator in Yet Another Occupational Gimmick. Shane was a real-life teacher at some point in his life, so the WWF opted to make that his new persona. The former Franchise HA HA looks like a complete tool.
After scraping his nails against the chalkboard like a complete dickhead, Douglas lays down some knowledge on, well, knowledge.
After some rambling, The Dean promises to grade the WWF Superstars. Prepare for certain wrestlers (babyfaces, mainly) to get Fs. Class dismissed!
Woof, that was no good. Shane came off really flat here, which is disappointing considering how dynamic he can be on the stick. Day one, and it feels like Douglas is already phoning it in. Not that I really blame him; he was apparently getting paid less than what was promised, and the gimmick was a huge step down from the crazy shit he was doing in ECW. I mean, it’s not like he can’t say “DICK FLAIR HA HA” on Fed television.
JULY 29th
USWA Championship Wrestling - We’re walkin’ in Memphis this week with clips of Buddy Landel, Robert Gibson & Tracy Smothers vs. PG-13 & Tommy Rich in a Texas Death Match, and it's a DONNYBROOK! PG-13 and Rich are pummeling the heels with weapons. That mat is soaked, so I imagine a lot of craziness happened here.
Wolfie D hubcaps the crap out of Smothers, but Mark Curtis stops the USWA ref from counting the pin! He kicks the ref in the beanbag and goes for a piledriver, but Randy Hales runs in to exact revenge for the beatdown a few weeks ago! Double-backdrop on Smothers, then Rich and JC Ice each hit elbows off the ropes. They place Smothers on a table.
Front flip senton from Wolfie D, but the table doesn't break! He goes for another one, but Terry Gordy runs in and piledrives Wolfie D a couple times. Landel DDTs Wolfie on the table, then Smothers slams JC Ice on the table! The table is STILL not broken as I’m curious if the USWA imports their tables from Japan. After some more beatings, Wolfie D is pinned. Wolfie D cannot answer the resulting ten count, giving the win to the SMW contingent.
Post-match, Tommy Rich re-introduces DOUG GILBERT to join him and PG-13 in their war against Smoky Mountain!
So, I can hear some of you saying “I see Robert Gibson, but not Ricky Morton”. Well, dear readers, he was fired from BOTH SMW and USWA. The reason? It’s a LONG story.
According to Dave Meltzer, Ricky and his girlfriend, Andrea Calloway, who we’ve seen before in this series, got into a heated argument at a bar on July 8th, which escalated to Andrea physically assaulting Ricky. Tracy Smothers’ fiancée, Angela Lambert, intervened and got into it with Andrea in order to get her off of Ricky. Cooler heads soon prevailed and everyone decided to take the party back to Lambert’s house. However, the ladies scrapped in the car, resulting in two black eyes for Calloway and assault charges being filed by her against Lambert.
While giving her statement to police, Calloway modified her story and accused Smothers of also participating in the assault, even though he apparently didn’t do anything and it was just his fiancée that attacked her. Of course, this led to a significant rift between Morton and Smothers backstage at Smoky Mountain shows, resulting in some backstage fights and Ricky no-showing pre-tapes. Having Andrea work as a manager and at the merch table didn’t help matters, either, so that particular arrangement ceased.
Also, because word of the Smothers arrest was starting to bubble up, Randy Hales and Jim Cornette attempted a full-court press to try to make the story disappear. They tried to get Ricky to convince Andrea to drop the charges and even offered to pay off any related medical bills, but she wouldn’t budge. Because Morton was unsuccessful in getting his girlfriend to drop the charges, Hales and Cornette both fired him. This whole situation is some bullshit.
So, yeah, this is why we’re not going to see Ricky for the rest of the SMW/USWA feud. He’ll likely still show up on some of the SMW pre-taped stuff for a bit, but not for much longer.
Alright, back to the show! Gibson, Smothers, Landel, and Gordy cut a promo backstage on PG-13, Rich, and Gilbert. They close out with the Thugs catchphrase and Smothers tells the USWA to SHOVE IT!
PG-13 come out to join Dave Brown in the studio to retort. JC Ice and Wolfie D promise that the entirety of the USWA are all united against Smoky Mountain Wrestling.
Smoky Mountain Wrestling - We kick off Smoky Mountain this week with a music video for the upcoming Undertaker vs. Unabomb match at SuperBowl of Wrestling, set to “Unholy” by Kiss. Clips of both guys kicking ass are shown.
We now kick it over to Jim Cornette and Buddy Landel backstage as they look to cut a promo ahead of the WWF Intercontinental Title match with Shawn Michaels at SuperBowl of Wrestling.
First, though, we get a promo from the champ as he references their past and Buddy's renewed ascent to the top. Shawn promises to knock Landel back to Nowheresville.
A music video set to Pat Benatar's “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” is then shown. It's mainly clips of Shawn beating the crap out of Rad Radford and Brooklyn Brawler mixed with clips of the WrestleMania X ladder match with Razor Ramon.
We go back to Cornette and Landel as Buddy pledges that Cornette won't interfere in the match, much to Corndog's surprise.
Budro then cuts an absolutely incredible promo, recounting his life growing up in Knoxville, his athletic background, and his failures. He brings up his past drug and alcohol addiction that cost him potential heavyweight championship glory in the NWA. He’s been hired and fired by many promotions and had become his own worst enemy.
“I've got dozens of friends and the fun never ends...just as long as I'm buyin'."
After contemplating ending his own life, he found salvation in God, cleaned up his act, lost 50 pounds, gained forgiveness from himself and his family, and climbed his way to the top of Smoky Mountain Wrestling.
In a year filled with legendary promo work, this one has to be near the top of the heap. Buddy proved he can be incredibly funny several times this year, but he delivered sincere, brutally honest, heartfelt stuff here. You can't help but root for Buddy to succeed. Seriously, my description can't do it justice. You need to watch this promo and give Budro his flowers.
We now cut to Les Thatcher backstage with the Rock N’ Roll Express and The Thugs as that feud continues to escalate. Tracy brags about beating Al Snow & Unabomb in one night where the Express had been trying to do that for four months.
Robert Gibson threatens to kick the Thugs’ asses at SuperBowl of Wrestling. Of course, that match would end up not happenings because of the Ricky Morton situation, so the Thugs ended up facing a returning Heavenly Bodies instead. We’ll have a sizeable amount of stuff from SuperBowl of Wrestling next time.
WCW Saturday Night - This week on The Mothership, Mean Gene sits down with Hulk Hogan for a candid conversation. He talks about Andre the Giant, discussing his death and the WrestleMania III match.
Much like when he ended up in the Dungeon of Doom last week, Hogan flexes his thespian muscles, saying that part of him was buried with Andre.
He was cremated, you orange idiot.
Hogan then sniffs and wipes his “tears” with the shirt that The Giant threw at him at the pre-Bash at the Beach Main Event broadcast.
He felt Andre's presence and aura when the shirt was thrown at him. Hogan doesn't want to LIVE THIS WAY, man, so he asked Jimmy Hart to do what he can to set up a match between himself and The Giant.
Holy shit, this was bad. The idiocy of peddling Paul Wight as the son of Andre aside, Hogan trying to sell us on all this heavy emotion is so corny when you consider how ridiculously campy the Dungeon of Doom stuff is.
To end the week, we catch up with Col. Robert Parker and his bodyguard Meng visiting prospective Stud Stable member Kurasawa in Japan. And by “Japan”, I mean “next to a green screen”.
Parker promises vast riches and a high-rise to Kurasawa when he comes to America.
Kurasawa is of course future IWGP Heavyweight Champion and eater of gigantic breakfasts Manabu Nakanishi. Having debuted in 1992, he worked in WCW as part of the traditional excursion that young wrestlers in Japan participate in as part of their seasoning. The Kurasawa character was known for breaking the arms of opponents, including Road Warrior Hawk, but it wouldn’t really get much better for him. I mean, it’s not like WCW put much thought into the gimmick. You see, because he’s Japanese, he just HAS to be a martial artist even though he was an Olympic-level amateur wrestler before joining the pros.
Nakanishi would return to NJPW in September 1996.
Another long, busy, interesting week comes to a close. Buddy Landel drops the promo of the year so far, and we got classics from AJPW, Shawn Michaels, and Jeff Jarrett. Definitely check those out, and give Bret/Hakushi a look, too. Hell, give the Dress Up Wild Fight a watch, too, even if it’s a lesser sequel. We also got introduced to some characters that varied wildly in terms of future success.
NEXT TIME: It’s SMW SUPERBOWL OF WRESTLING! We'll have a ton from that. Plus, ECW Wrestlepalooza, Hayabusa and Gladiator lock horns, additional vignettes, and MORE!
Smell ya later!