Ryan Navigates '90 - #39 (6/2)
The Bolsheviks split up. I'll give you time to grieve.
Good day!
It’s yet another Saturday Special, guys! This time around, the wrestling world is shaken to its very core by the breakup of a low-tier WWF tag team.
After we pick up the scattered pieces, we’ll carry on with more awesomeness from Jerry Lawler and The Snowman, the sun setting on the Road Warriors’ NWA run, plenty of promos from the WWF and the NWA, and another player enters the Chris Adams/Steve Austin arc.
SATURDAY, JUNE 2nd
WWF Superstars of Wrestling
Nikolai Volkoff vs. Boris Zukhov - The Bolsheviks are EXPLODING, PEOPLE!
Boris starts off by singing the Soviet national anthem as him and Nikolai were often wont to do.
However, Nikolai runs down to the ring, grabs the mic, and belts out “The Star-Spangled Banner”! I was not ready for the pop he got for doing that.
Seriously, these fans are INTO IT.
Zhukov interrupts the anthem by attacking Volkoff from behind, then slugs away as the crowd chants “U-S-A!”. Boris batters Nikolai inside and outside, then clubs him with his boot until referees come down to break it up. Zhukov heads up the aisle, and Volkoff gives chase. No bell rings or anything, but it’s a DQ win for Nikolai.
The match itself was a big pile of nothing, but it was meant to serve as a vehicle for Nikolai’s babyface turn and set up an undercard feud for the house show circuit. The fans seemed to be quite happy with Volkoff embracing ‘MURICA. Apparently, the turn was something that Volkoff wanted to do since the U.S.S.R. was on its way to being completely dissolved.
Honestly, good for Nikolai; he was one of those “nicest guys in wrestling types”. Sure, he may not have been a great bell-to-bell wrestler or anything, but he sure was a likeable dude. There’s a reason he stuck around as long as he did. It’s insane to think that he wrestled all the way until May 2018, with his last match coming just a couple of months before his passing in July that year.
What’s strange to me, though, was that Zhukov just beat Volkoff down and left only after intervention from the officials. That’s a rather lackluster way to kick off a face turn. Nikolai should have at least fought back a bit and sent Zhukov scurrying.
On The Brother Love Show this week, it’s “Ravishing” Rick Rude and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan! Finally, Rude gets to do something that isn’t a pre-taped workout vignette.
Brother Brain insists that Rude be introduced as the “next World Wrestling Federation Champion”, then Rude says that Ultimate Warrior has to prove to HIM that he’s a worthy WWF Champion. Rick says that would be difficult as he can either be “Ravishing” or “Rude” as he strips down to his wrestling tights. He has the power to make some people feel good (as he swivels his hips), or he can make people feel REALLY BAD.
Heenan says that there will be NO MORE Rude Awakenings (that deal where Rude would make out with ladies plucked from the crowd) until Rude wins the WWF title. Rude again tells Warrior that he will take his belt.
While it’s still more talking, at least Rude got to move his character forward a bit by dropping the Rude Awakenings. He’s SUPER SERIAL about beating Warrior, guys!
Next up, “The Model” Rick Martel pitches his Arrogance cologne using a bunch of car metaphors while he’s getting into a convertible with a blonde lady. Arrogance will open your carburetor, prime your pistons, make your spark plugs go hotter…
…and improve your engine’s performance!
“Put the brakes on the mundane and accelerate into the fast lane with Arrogance!”
Martel’s accent and delivery really puts this into the “entertaining cheese” category. I honestly feel like there needs to be more cologne in comically-large atomizers in wrestling. MxM Collection, I’m looking at YOU.
Hey, it’s time for an Ultimate Warrior promo. Yippie.
It’s actually really hard to hear because the quality is pretty static-y, and Warrior spends a lot of time whispering with his back to the camera. That may be a good thing.
He talks about his Warriors a bit, then tells Rick Rude that he’ll drag him further into Parts Unknown than he has ever been.
This was more of his usual cosmic slop, and the Fed is tinkering with his facepaint a bit. Half of his face is done up, and the other half just has a Warrior logo painted on the cheek.
This is likely an attempt to make WARYAH seem more like a human being, which is a positive step in theory, but it doesn’t really work. The promo is still abstract nonsense, and the actual paint doesn’t really look that good.
USWA Championship Wrestling (Memphis)
Unsanctioned Match: Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. The Snowman - This one comes to us from the Mid-South Coliseum, and it’s a rare instance of us getting a full match instead of just clips.
It’s a tentative start, but after Snowman throws a couple of blows to test the waters, both guys just unleash crazy punches. Lawler hits a couple of hard takedowns on Snowman as both guys throw more wild blows. Snowman backs Lawler into the corner for some punches, but Lawler withstands the onslaught and comes back with a flurry of his own, capping it off with a punch to the ear.
Lawler again wrestles Snowman down, and they scrape and claw at each other on the mat. After a brief respite on the floor, Snowman lands some massive punches, but Lawler again comes back and hits a bevy of nasty shots.
They roll around and slug each other until referee Jerry Calhoun pulls Snowman off. Snowman decks him and continues going at it with the King. Calhoun calls for the bell as the fighting resumes on the mat.
***1/2 - This may seem high for such a quick match, but hot DAMN, this was intense. The match was 3-4 minutes of brawling, and it came off like a realistic fight. The strikes were wild and nowhere near the typical worked wrestling punch. Nothing looked overly smooth or co-operative; it really did come off like both guys legitimately trying to beat the shit out of each other.
This whole deal was awesome; probably one of the best sub-five minute matches you’ll ever see. My only complaint is that the DQ ending didn’t really make sense for an unsanctioned match.
Back at the studio, Jerry Lawler comes out to chat with Dave Brown. Lawler refutes Snowman’s claims of beating his brains out, then says that Snowman didn’t do diddly squat in that match.
I dunno; from what I watched, it looked like Snowman was able to at least do diddly poo offensively.
The King brings out radio DJ Bad Wayne (and his masked bodyguard) from Magic 101. Wayne introduces some ladies from “Night Moves”, who are clad in lingerie and swimwear. Those ladies, and Wayne, will be at the Mid-South Coliseum this coming Monday. Magic 101 will be giving away some tickets Monday morning, so tune in between 6-7am for your chance to win!
Lawler then segways from that to insulting Snowman, saying no ladies want to get near him, and asks why he needs bodyguards. Snowman (who had been sitting in the crowd wearing a shirt advertising what was likely an opposing radio station) stands up and jaws at The King. The studio fans are very much into Snowman, chanting for him to “KICK BUTT *clap* KICK BUTT *clap*”.
Snowman and his men take off their shirts as Lawler again calls him a coward. Lawler continues poking the bear, so Snowman challenges him to a match RIGHT NOW. Eddie Marlin comes down to put the kibosh on that idea.
Lawler retroactively claims that the match we saw earlier was for the USWA Unified World Heavyweight Championship, which Snowman didn’t win, then he promises to shut Snowman up for good this coming Monday night. Lawler doesn’t care who the special referee will be. Yeah, there was a special ref stipulation attached to the upcoming match, but we don’t find out who it is during the course of this footage.
Lawler walks to the back, but he’s scheduled for…
Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Freezer Thompson - Freezer is a long-time Memphis enhancement talent. He debuted in 1977, and Cagematch actually has his most recent match listed in 2020 (!) under the name Hunter Thompson. Despite his aliases, Thompson is neither a Gonzo journalist nor an appliance. As far as I know, Mr. Thompson is still with us as of March 2025.
Lawler comes back out and taunts the studio fans as Downtown Bruno and a blonde fella show up at ringside to take notes.
After plentiful stalling, Lawler heads into the ring while Eddie Marlin puts security in place to prevent Snowman from interfering. Freezer is a pretty big dude. He’s no mere Styrofoam cooler.
Lawler traps Thompson in a toehold, then diverts the referee’s attention towards Snowman. With referee Jerry Calhoun distracted, the King delivers an elbow to Freezer’s drain tube. Lawler continues punching away at Thompson and taunting Snowman. The King delivers a frenetic flurry of fists in the corner, then lands a second-rope fistdrop for the three, staring at Snowman during the cover.
Post-match, Lawler takes the mic and asks Snowman why he didn’t jump in. Security and Eddie Marlin keep everyone separated as the situation de-escalates.
The match was a total squash with some nefarious tactics throw in there by the King. While he’s decidedly been less over-the-top heelish the last few weeks, he’s definitely not a full-fledged babyface. The shades of grey really do make this angle stand out, especially in 1990.
We cut to a backstage pretape from Jerry Lawler, which actually might be from USWA Dallas as it’s directed towards “Superstar” Bill Dundee. Lawler explains the concept of delegation to the dirt farmers in Texas. In a new development to one of USWA Dallas’ ongoing storylines, “Hollywood” John Tatum has put out a bounty on Dundee.
Lawler says he could squash Dundee and collect the money, but he doesn’t want to dirty his hands with someone so slimy and trivial. Thus, he hired someone to take out Dundee while the King still earns the bounty. Lawler says this hired gun isn’t quite human, but INHUMAN. He stands 6’4” (and a half!) and just under 400 pounds, with a brain smaller than a black-eyed pea.
The Inhuman is too stupid to know when he hurts someone, or to feel compassion. Lawler will send Inhuman to do away with that pesky Superstar while he collects from Tatum.
This was a pretty fun promo, though I’m not sure why he refers to Dundee as trivial when he’s been one of his most consistent rivals over the years. I do like a good bounty angle, and Lawler did well building intrigue about the Inhuman.
NWA World Championship Wrestling
The NWA coverage starts in earnest with a commercial for the legendary WRESTLING HOTLINE! This is very much a spoof of “2001: A Space Odyssey”, with “Also Sprach Zarathustra” playing and Rick Steiner drawing Lawrence from “Office Space” dressed as a circus strongman on a cave wall.
Elsewhere, the Samoan Savage bangs some drums on Easter Island.
He tosses a bone into the air, which morphs into a cordless phone. The Wrestling Hotline: $2.00 for the first minute; 45 cents for every minute thereafter! Kids, for the love of God, get your parents’ permission before calling!
Holy crap, what a great commercial. Grandiose and cheesy, just the way it should be.
Any of you ever call 1-900-909-9900 and get subsequently murdered by your parents for wrecking the phone bill?
We see a quick video for Big Van Vader. Basically, it's just a clip of him making his entrance in Japan while foreboding music plays. The footage cuts away before he takes off the helmet.
I'm really happy he got rid of that skull staff. It just looks cheap next to his awesome smoking mastodon helmet. Vader turned out to be a pretty awesome get for WCW.
Next, we hear from another one of Ole Anderson’s latest pickups, Stan Hansen! Jim Ross introduces him by, what else, rattling off his football credentials and saying that he was exiled from American wrestling. By “exiled from American wrestling”, he means, “refused to drop the AWA title to Nick Bockwinkel and stayed in Japan”.
The Lariat storms in with a hand full of cowbell and a mouth full of chaw.
Hansen claims that he’d been wrestling in the third world, where the “Peace Corps people” go. Why would a pro wrestler of all people ever lie to us like that?
These American promoters wanted someone who would go “yes, sir”, “no, sir”, but Hansen was NOT a yes man! Jim asks Stan about the lariat, and Hansen says that there’s guys who are trying to perfect it, but he’s the one who started the whole thing. He was kicked out of the States because it was such a vicious hold!
Yes, this was a bit goofy, and the explanations for his ostracism was a bit inconsistent, but I had fun watching it. Hansen comes off as unhinged and unpredictable, which is pretty accurate if you’ve seen his squash matches around this time.
Hansen’s appearances in WCW are going to be fairly sporadic because of his All Japan commitments, but he’ll be an interesting addition to the roster. He’s one of the few older guys brought in by Ole who could still get it done between the ropes.
Next, it’s time for the Four Horsemen, hopefully with less racism this week!
Sid Vicious is STILL wearing that tux. I hope he at least dry-cleaned it at some point.
Arn Anderson puts over the Road Warriors as the greatest tag team of the last six years (well, except for the Horsemen). However, that fire that the Warriors had is no longer in their eyes. When Arn looks at Hawk and Animal, he only sees human beings. Any human can bleed, be hurt, and be beat! The Horsemen of the ‘90s are the finest humans of all time!
Barry Windham plans on giving the Road Warriors a lesson in how vincible they are, then Ric Flair comes in and tells us that Arn and Barry will put the Warriors in their place.
Arn continues to show why he’s an absolute force on the mic, with killer lines expertly delivered. Barry’s fine, I guess, but he can’t possibly live up to Arn on the stick.
The Four Horsemen (Barry Windham & Arn Anderson) vs. The Road Warriors (Hawk & Animal) - This is your long overdue reminder that the NWA is brought to you by ROOS! Shoes for your feet, pockets for your stuff!
After the Warriors chase the Horsemen out of the ring, we start proper with Arn and Hawk. Arn takes a cheap shot at Animal on the apron and slides out to avoid a Hawk punch, but Animal’s right there waiting. Arn gets press-slammed into the ring as Hawk hits a powerslam on Windham.
After a brief respite, Windham tries to suplex Animal (after a knee from the apron by Arn), but Animal no-sells it and press-slams Windham! Whoa. Animal suplexes Windham from the apron into the ring, but Barry rakes the eyes during a pin attempt. Animal blocks an Arn Anderson stomp to the face and ping-pongs him a bit, but Sid distracts the ref, allowing for Windham to blast Animal from behind.
Windham strings together some offense, including a nice back suplex and a powerslam. Arn tags in and continues pounding away until Animal reverses a whip, sending Anderson into Windham’s knee! However, Windham tags back in and maintains the Horsemens’ upper hand with a snake eyes. Animal fights back from his knees with headbutts to the abdomen, then just clubs Barry with a lariat. Windham regains the advantage and heads up, but Animal intercepts and hurls him off the top!
A drop-down sequence results in heads colliding, then Animal hits an impressive slow-motion vertical suplex on Barry, and it’s HOT TAG HAWK! Hawk shoulderblocks and neckbreakers Windham, then follows with a dropkick!
Animal fights off Arn as Hawk continues clobbering Windham until Sid runs in for the DQ…
…or not, I guess, because the match is still going. A flustered Jim Ross tries to cover it up by explaining that Sid didn’t make contact, but he absolutely did.
Animal tags back in and clotheslines Windham down, then picks him up for a slam, but Arn grabs the foot and holds it down while Barry goes for a pin. However, referee Randy Anderson catches Arn in the act and stops the count.
It’s a FOUR WAY FRAY until Sid and Ole Anderson run in and assault the Warriors. Alright, NOW it’s a disqualification. Sting, Junkyard Dog, and Paul Orndorff (the Dudes with Attitude!) run in for the save to a HUGE pop!
**1/2 - This was a decently fun TV match with sizeable crowd heat and entertaining big guy stuff, but everything after Sid’s initial interference was a complete shambles. Methinks that Sid jumped his cue in this instance, which isn’t exactly something I’d put past him.
This was, I believe, the last match for the Road Warriors to air on NWA television. By the time this episode was broadcast, they had wrapped up all their house show commitments. Hawk and Animal would start working WWF tapings before the month was out.
USWA Championship Sports (Dallas)
Craig Johnson brings “Superstar” Bill Dundee and Tessa down to ringside for some dialogue after Dundee put away The Dog of War. Johnson is a tall drink of water, towering over the Superstar.
Before we hear from Dundee, we get another pre-tape from Jerry “The King” Lawler. The King calls into question the “Superstar” nickname as Dundee started calling himself that to camouflage the fact that he’s a WIMP and to impress the rednecks.
Lawler, however, sees right through that. Dundee is NOTHING, a never-was! He’s never beaten anyone of stature or won any title of significance. He is NOT championship material. Dundee couldn’t beat Lawler if he had a gun on one hip and a straight razor on the other. As long as there’s a breath in his body, Dundee will never make it to his level.
Back to Superstar, who explains that he had pinned Lawler before, then pulls Tessa in and asks if she’d like to be married to the World champion. She’s all like “sure would!”, then Dundee briefly explains John Tatum’s bounty on him. The bounty ended up propelling Superstar to the #1 Contender spot.
There’s another world title match coming up between Dundee and Lawler, and it’s time for a world champion that the people can be proud of! If Lawler doesn’t want to come to Dallas, just drop by one more time, leave the belt, and never come back! Dundee circles back to Tatum, saying the difference between them is that “my heart ain’t on my sleeve; it’s in here, brother”. Great line. He thanks Tatum for the bounty and plants one on Tessa.
Dundee then moves on to Dirty White Boy and Ronnie P. Gossett (“the P stands for Porky’). He picks DWB as his next opponent, then goes on a rant against women beaters before summarizing his current feuds:
“John Tatum, I thank you,
Jerry Lawler, I’m gonna beat you,
and Dirty White Boy, you’re the next opponent!”
That was a fun, fired-up, and efficient interview from Dundee. He addressed three opponents, furthered multiple storylines, and dropped some great lines in there.
The Lawler promo was fine, but was more of what we saw in his earlier pre-tape, with many of the same issues. Dundee had a much better showing this week.
“Fame” by David Bowie ushers in “Stunning” Steve Austin and Jeanie Clark as they make their way to ringside for a chat with Craig. Johnson brings up the barbed wire match, but Austin brushes that aside and chooses to discuss his favorite subject in the world: himself!
Austin loves himself more than anything in the world, and he’s on his way to the top! He’s beaten Chris Adams in a cage match, a barbed wire match, scientifically, and every which way he can!
He was supposed to face Adams last night, but the “stupid coward” backed out due to a neck injury. Adams chickened out! Jeanie then grabs the mic and restates Adams’ cowardice. She then pulls up an old picture of Adams, then talks to all the women at home with their fat husbands. The men are positively drooling over Jeanie, and she’s only trying to add excitement to their lives!
Austin grabs the picture and points out how lacking Adams is compared to him. Yeah, it’s a dorky picture, but it’s not really as scandalous as it was being built up to be.
Chris Adams, complete with neckbrace, comes out for his retort. Adams tells Jeanie that if she thinks she’s gotten rid of him, she’s got another thing coming! The Gentleman then decks Austin and beats him down at ringside. However, Austin fights back, then they brawl it out in the ring until Austin clubs Adams in the back of the neck.
Stunning Steve rips off the brace and goes to town on the neck, then Jeanie comes in for some cheapshots.
However, the crowd goes wild as TONI ADAMS, Chris’ current wife, runs in and slugs Jeanie AND Austin! Chris takes Steve down, and the ladies get into a pretty awesome catfight as the fans are just going apeshit.
Austin yanks Toni off, then him and Jeanie escape to the back, with Toni running up after them. We then clip to Toni cutting a promo, saying she’s BACK before addressing Jeanie’s insults towards her family and the attempts to ruin their marriage. Toni and Chris have had ENOUGH!
The next time Jeanie interferes, Toni WILL BE THERE!
Toni had been in the business since 1984, the same year she married Chris. She mainly worked in production and interviewing, with some on-screen appearances sprinkled in. However, she did manage Chris full-time on television in 1989, feuding with Toji Yamamoto & P.Y. Chu-Hi, then with Billy Joe Travis. After leaving the limelight to help run a summer camp and Chris’ wrestling school, she re-emerged for this angle.
Sadly, there was no happy ending for this couple. Chris’ alcoholism was his biggest demon, and it resulted in a domestic abuse incident in 1989 that left Toni severely beaten. In 1991, quickly after this storyline had wrapped up, the marriage ended in divorce.
Putting that aside, this segment was a hell of a piece of business, with Toni being added as another combustible element to the storyline. That fight with her and Jeanie was super-heated, the promo from Toni was fiery, the beatdown on Chris was solid, and the character stuff from the ladies in particular was very well-realized. This is soap opera done right.
THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
As brought up over the last few articles, one of Ole Anderson’s most infamous tactics was recruiting and pushing older, cheaper wrestlers who drew money in the past while de-emphasizing younger, more “expensive” workers. Among the recent hirings are:
Junkyard Dog, who I’ve discussed to death already.
“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, who was actually a replacement for Kerry Von Erich after that prospective deal fell through.
In other words, Kerry no-showed a taping and immediately got fired.
Orndorff and JYD are part of the babyface Dudes With Attitude stable to oppose the Horsemen. Also in that group are Sting, El Gigante, Lex Luger, and the Steiner Brothers
Orndorff is pretty great, but I like him much better as a heel than a babyface.
Mr. Wrestling II, mainly in a non-wrestling capacity.
Stan Hansen, as discussed earlier.
The Iron Sheik, for some reason.
Cowboy Bob Orton, though it only ended up being for one house show as far as I can tell.
“Nature Boy” Buddy Landel is also coming back to the NWA! He claims to be living clean, but I don’t believe he actually was at that point in his life.
Hey, I’m always up for more Budro in my life.
“Tag Team” update! ABC did NOT pick up the Roddy Piper/Jesse Ventura vehicle.
Don’t lose heart, though! The show might get picked up as a mid-season replacement should something else get shitcanned.
NEXT TIME: Hamada’s UWF gives us joshi and lucha trios matches, Steve Williams and Stan Hansen slap meat, Jumbo Tsuruta defends the Triple Crown against Terry Gordy, and we take a brief look at Ohio’s IWA promotion!
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I remember those "Stunning" Steve Austin days well from World Class and those ads they use to run on World Class TV for Chris Adams' wrestling school for a brief period of time.