Ryan Navigates '90 - #28 (4/28)
Rubber snakes, the New York Mauler, and Super Duper Mario!
Good day!
It’s another single-Saturday edition of Ryan Navigates ‘90! In this go-round, we get another episode of Saturday Night’s Main Event, Bad News Brown being afraid of rubber snakes, plenty of Jerry Lawler and HANDSOME JIMMEH from Memphis, and I go DEEP into a “Mario gimmicks in wrestling” rabbit hole thanks to ICW’s Super Duper Mario.
SATURDAY, APRIL 28th
WWF Superstars of Wrestling
FROM THE PAGES OF THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION MAGAZINE, HERE’S UPDATE!
“Mean” Gene Okerlund replays his interview with Bad News Brown from last week’s Wrestling Challenge. Brown needs nobody and hates everybody! Okerlund brings up that it’s Brown’s birthday, which upsets him. Gene offers him a birthday present, which Bad News doesn’t want.
Gene goes to walk away with the gift, but Bad News snatches it and tears it open. The contents of the box horrify Brown, and Okerlund reveals the gift to be a rubber snake.
Gene waves it around to REALLY rub it in, so Brown shoves Okerlund down and scampers away in terror.
We then kick it to Jake “The Snake” Roberts, who sent the mysterious gift. All Jake wanted to do was put a smile on Brown’s face! Happy birthday, Bad News!
This was a truly cartoonish way to introduce a feud between the two, but things will somehow get even dumber the further we roll along.
Three words: Mutant. Sewer. Rats.
Next, we have another Ravishing Rick Rude vignette from the gymnasium, with Mr. Rude doing beefy bench presses. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan reiterates that Rude was the only man to beat Ultimate Warrior for a championship.
Rude stops and tells Warrior that he’ll be an irresistible force AND an immovable object, and that if he’s in any kind of pinning predicament, he’ll press Warrior off as easily as the 405lbs (!) he just pressed. Rude again tells Warrior that he’ll take his WWF title before going back to the bench. Heenan motivates Rude through some heavy reps (“Warrior can do two more; can you do two more?!?”).
It’s time for The Brother Love Show! Oh, be still my heart. Love piles on the insults before introducing today’s guest, Hulk Hogan.
Hulk gets a pretty massive reaction from the fans here. Hogan asks Love if he looks “tattered and torn” before posing to the crowd’s delight.
Love brings up Earthquake, who will end Hulk Hogan. Brother claims that Earthquake buttsplashing the Hulkster all those weeks ago resulted in him losing the title at WrestleMania. Hogan retorts by saying that that HULKAMANIA WILL NEVER DIE.
When Hogan and Earthquake get together, and if Earthquake manages to register a 10 on the Richter scale, it’ll be just another chance to prove that Hulkamania is the strongest force in the universe, BROTHER! He rips off his shirt and poses to close the segment.
With that, the next big program for Hulk is set, with Earthquake getting the honor of working Hogan on top around the horn while Ultimate Warrior defends the WWF title on the other tour. The Hogan/Earthquake main events tended to draw bigger houses than Warrior’s shows, which is, again, not a good sign.
USWA Championship Wrestling (Memphis)
Dave Brown starts off our Memphis coverage by bringing out underneath guy Ben Jordan, who is soon challenging Jerry “The King” Lawler for the Unified World Heavyweight Championship. With the crowd again being pro-Lawler, Jordan gets booed on his way to the ring! That’s cold, especially since Jordan’s got “US MARINES” printed on his jacket.
Jordan is excited about the match, guys! While Jordan babbles on, Lawler comes out and stands in front of him to obstruct the camera’s view. The King says it’s a JOKE that Jordan was brought out for an interview as he’s not a REAL world title contender. Lawler recaps a conversation he had with Eddie Marlin about the frequency of his title defenses, then claims that he’ll only defend the title once every 30 days, per the current obligations.
If Eddie Marlin wants title matches, Lawler will wrestle jabronis! The King continues making fun of Jordan’s lack of in-ring success, calling him a jabroni and saying that it’ll be a night off. Jordan tells Lawler that it just takes one time.
Dave brings up the match Lawler has scheduled for today against another ham-and-egger, the New York Mauler. Lawler applauds Mauler for being a jabroni who is at least smart enough to wear a mask and not use his real name, unlike Jordan. Jerry’s working overtime making ‘jabroni’ a thing years before The Rock popularized it in the mainstream. Lawler invites Jordan to sit down and watch the match, and he’ll put the title on the line against Mauler, too.
USWA Unified World Heavyweight Championship: Jerry “The King” Lawler (c) vs. The New York Mauler - The Mauler comes out to “Boy From New York City” by the Manhattan Transfer, and he does look a tad familiar.
I wonder if he’s related to Charlie Brown from Outta Town?
Lawler is absolutely beside himself, ranting to Dave Brown while Mauler pulls up his mask to the fans. OH MY GOD, IT’S JIMMY VALIANT!
Please excuse me if I seem a bit out of sorts for the rest of this article. I just had my entire foundation of belief shaken to its very core.
Eddie Marlin comes out and tells the ref to ring the bell and start the count. After some stalling, Lawler enters the ring before getting counted out (and losing his title), only to get chased back out by the Mauler. We get more hotdogging and stalling until Mauler blasts Lawler with some right hands. Handsome Jimmy removes the mask for good, then soon gets a sleeperhold on the King.
The pro-Jerry fans will Lawler back into the match, but Lawler misses with a punch, allowing the Boggie Woogie Man a shot of his own. Lawler bails to the floor and asks the ref to give Valiant a technical loss for using a closed fist, but no dice. Dave Brown announces the time intervals rather frequently, foreshadowing a time limit draw.
Handsome Jimmy continues working Lawler over, mostly with punches, choking, and use of a turnbuckle pad. Valiant gets the corner punches, then tries multiple pin attempts between moves due to the encroaching time limit. Lawler bails to the outside, then tries to sneak a chair into the ring. He drops it after the ref reminds him that using it would result in a technical loss.
Lawler heads back in and gets back elbowed by Jimmy, who continues making desperate pin attempts after punches. Lawler keeps getting his feet on the ropes, then the time limit expires while Valiant has Lawler rolled up.
Lawler goes to leave, but, per the new rules, there is a SUDDEN DEATH period where the first competitor to be taken off his feet loses. Marlin comes back out to remind him of such, much to Lawler’s protests.
The bell rings for the sudden death period, and Jerry reluctantly steps into the ring, only to get immediately attacked by the ex-Mauler. Some punches in the corner nearly take Lawler off his feet, but he hangs on for dear life via the ropes. Both guys exchange punches, with each guy staggering like crazy, but nobody falls down.
Lawler continues getting some honest-to-God offense with more right hands, but Valiant fires back. Jerry goes for a single-leg takedown, but Jimmy nearly fells him with another punch. Valiant counters a back body drop attempt with a kick that NEARLY knocks the King off his feet, but the ropes prop him up. Jimmy goes for his own back body drop, and Lawler tries to kick him…but Jimmy dodges! Lawler soars in the air and falls on his ass! The match ends with Jimmy Valiant as the new champion!
Handsome Jimmeh celebrates with the fans while Lawler is naturally apoplectic at the turn of events.
**1/2 - The match before the time limit draw was honestly pretty dire as the only real offense Lawler had was extended stalling, and it didn’t have the entertaining tomfoolery that I came to appreciate about Southern wrestling. I did appreciate Valiant’s urgency near the end, tough.
However, the overtime period was AWESOME stuff, with clever teases and great dramatic tension. As anticipated, it allowed Valiant to take the belt without Lawler eating a pinfall loss. There’s also potential controversy in play since Lawler took himself off his feet, not Valiant.
Of course, Lawler was still recognized as champion when he showed up in Dallas.
Lawler and Eddie Marlin have heated words as USWA CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Valiant still celebrating with the fans. Jimmy brings a ton of young Black fans with him to the desk and declares the title to be “The People’s Belt”.
Handsome Jimmeh kisses the security guard as she ushers everyone back to their seats. The belt belongs to everyone, even Dave Brown! Jimmy heads back into the crowd to continue the festivities. Even though the crowd did boo him when he talked a bit of shit about Lawler, this was an amazing celebration.
We cut to a bit later in the show, where Jimmy Valiant has added a pair of sunglasses and Jerry Lawler’s crown to the ensemble. Jimmy sings about some of the stops on the upcoming USWA tour. The drip is immaculate, as the kids today might say.
We pick it back up with Valiant STILL celebrating. Lawler comes out and dares Jimmy to come back to the desk. The King asks for a title shot this week, and Handsome Jimmeh responds by singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” before telling Ben Jordan (who is waiting in the ring for a match) that he’ll get the first shot. He tells Lawler to “GO FISH” before resuming his revelry.
Lawler calls Jordan to the desk to again run him down for not being worthy of a title match. The King then challenges Jordan to a match to determine the number one contender to the title. Brown reminds Jordan that he’s already signed for a title match, so he doesn’t have to accept Lawler’s proposal. Jerry brings a fan over, who tells Jordan that he’d be a “jabroni” if he didn’t take Lawler up on his challenge. Fiendishly clever move by the King there.
Lawler continues to taunt and goad Jordan, calling him a yellow coward, until Jordan finally accepts. The match is on!
Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Ben Jordan - Jordan spent much of his career as an enhancement talent everywhere he went, including a few years staring up at the lights in the WWF. However, he did have a brief spell as light heavyweight champion in the Global Wrestling Federation, so some mild success was had.
Jordan gets some early shine with a hiptoss and a dropkick for a two-count. Lawler procures a chain (take a drink) and pops Jordan in the face, allowing Lawler to work him over on the outside. Jordan is busted open as a result.
Back in, Lawler continues peppering Jordan with rights, dodges some of Ben’s desperation punches, and lands a dropkick. The King drills his quarry with a DDT, then hits a second rope fistdrop. He props up Jordan’s bloody visage and directs threats to Jimmy Valiant.
Lawler drops an elbow and pins Jordan to complete the slaughter. After the match, Lawler hits Jordan with a piledriver while referee Jerry Calhoun restrains Valiant.
The match itself had some good early fire from Jordan until Lawler snuffed out any potential of an upset with the chain.
Overall, the whole episode-long arc was an entertaining success. The Mauler match established the rules that were announced last week, we had a fun callback to Valiant’s previous “Charlie Brown from Outta Town” storyline, the King’s arrogance came back to bite him in the ass, and Valiant’s celebration was spectacular. Lawler did get a measure of redemption by completely wrecking Jordan, and it nicely sets up the upcoming rematch for the title.
NWA World Championship Wrestling
We start with a pre-tape from Ric Flair and Woman, likely taped the same day as Flair’s AWA promo from earlier in the week. Woman slapped and scratched Lex Luger, and plans on going even further if needed, then Flair asks him if he questions his pursuit of the title.
Flair is the GREATEST OF ALL TIME, then says that him and Woman run professional wrestling! Flair, Woman, and the Horsemen are a wrestling empire! Learn to LOVE IT, Luger! WOO!
We cut to Luger, who says that he had Flair beat in Greensboro. Despite the intervention of the Horsemen, Flair didn’t get the job done! Lex is a forest fire that Flair is trying to put out with a garden hose! Luger is a charging rhinoceros, and Flair is trying to take him out with a B.B. gun!
Flair’s only fanned the flames! Luger plans on taking the Nature Boy apart, limb from limb! It’s TIFFY TOTAL PACKAGE TIME!
We now cut to Tony Schiavone (welcome back to the NWA, Big Tone!) and Sting, who are in front of a very blue screen. Tony asks if Sting serious considered retirement, and Sting replies stating that the only thing he considered was how much he HATED the word “retirement”. Considering he only just hung up the boots in March 2024, I’d say that was true.
Sting takes over the interview and the camera to talk SERIOUS STUFF. Whenever Sting felt low and even contemplated hanging it up, he looked at the 30-40,000 fan letters. He’s coming back for the STINGERS, small, medium, and large! Sting will be at Capital Combat, and he’ll have goosebumps, veins and spikes popping out, and ROBOCOP with him! It’s gonna get SO SERIOUS at Capital Combat! SERIOUS…with ROBOCOP!
Really fun pure babyface promo from the Stinger, even if he did mess up his words at times. Mic work was never really a strong area for Sting, but the bombastic energy helps carry things for him around this time.
We end the NWA coverage with another commercial for Capital Combat. It’s most of the same awesomely dumb RoboCop ad as before (“THINK IT OVER, CREEP!”)
At the end, though, is a message telling us to catch ROBOCOP 2! COMING TO THEATRES THIS SUMMER!
WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVI
The 26th edition of SNME comes to you hot from the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, Texas. We’re in Texas, so there’s a western motif throughout the show. Even the match-up graphics feature lassos!
Sean Mooney asks Mr. Perfect and The Genius if they have high opinions of themselves based on their names. Perfect runs down all the sports he’s excelled at (“…and horseshoes!”), saying he played them PERFECTLY! Perfect says Hogan lost all his courage, confidence, and his Hulkamaniacs after losing the WWF title at WrestleMania. Hennig wraps up by saying that the only perfect quality Hogan has is that he’ll be a perfect LOSER! The Genius being an annoying little shit is always entertaining.
Hulk Hogan vs. Mr. Perfect - Perfect had just won the Intercontinental Championship at the 4/23 Superstars of Wrestling tapings (the same day this SNME was taped, actually). However, the title win hadn’t aired yet, so he doesn’t have the belt or Bobby Heenan with him. He still has the Genius, though!
Again, these graphics absolutely rule.
We cut to “Mean” Gene Okerlund with Hulk Hogan, who says that Genius and Perfect are indeed perfect…
…Perfect FOOLS! Oh, sick burn.
Hogan is confident in his own abilities, DUDE! Hogan’s burning ambition is hotter than ever, and he aims to take out pompous jerks like Mr. Perfect! Hogan will stand taller than ever before, much at Perfect’s expense. If there’s any doubts, WATCH THIS!
Hogan asserts his power to start, but Perfect manages a hiptoss on the Hulkster, causing the Genius to prance around at ringside in approval. Hulk comes back with a hiptoss of his own, and a couple of bodyslams to force Perfect to seek refuge on the floor. Back in, Perfect corners Hogan and assaults him with rights before a hard Irish whip into the corner. Hogan comes back and tries a big boot, but Perfect slides to the floor to dodge.
Hogan pursues Perfect on the floor, chopping him and hurling him into the ringpost for a couple of big bumps. Back in, Hulk lands a clothesline (AXE BOMBAAAHHH) and continues pounding Perfect from pillar to post. A running back elbow in the corner sends Perfect hurtling to the outside where Genius threatens to bash Hogan with the metal scroll. Hogan catches him and slugs Leapin’ Lanny, but Perfect snatches the scroll and decks Hulk with it to gain the upper hand.
Hogan struggles to get back up as SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Perfect assailing the Hulkster on the floor. Back in, Perfect gets the rolling necksnap and continues working away at the ex-champion. Hogan dodges an elbow drop and makes his comeback with some punches. However, Perfect thwarts a back body drop with a kick, then YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX! The Perfectplex is applied, but Hogan kicks out at two!
Hogan hulks up! Big boot, legdrop, three count, enjoy the midcard, Curt.
Post-match, The Genius tries to attack Hogan, but the Hulkster beats the crap out of him without issue.
**1/2 - This was pretty standard Hogan fare, though Perfect elevated it with some trademark bumping and solid heeling. The Hogan/Perfect feud is finally put to bed, and Hennig never really sniffs the WWF main event scene again.
The post-match basically served as the end of the Genius/Perfect alliance. As discussed in Part 27, Perfect would leave the Intercontinental Title tournament with a new manager. Genius would continue on in 1990, mainly as a jobber to the stars on house shows with occasional TV appearances.
Earthquake defeated Hillbilly Jim with the Earthquake Splash in under 2 minutes.
It’s weird to think that Jim was still around in 1990, but there he was. The gimmick feels like a complete anachronism for this period, kind of like Bunkhouse Buck still being around in WCW while they were deep into the nWo storyline.
This was the last match of any significance for HBJ in the WWF, but he’d pop up on some house shows in 1991.
“The Model” Rick Martel tells us that he pumps up before each match with ARROGANCE.
It’s today’s man in a classic can! A couple of ladies pop up out of nowhere and leave under Martel’s arms. It’s Arrogance for men!
That was a delightfully cheesy little take on cologne ads.
Ahead of the next match, Jesse “The Body” Ventura interviews the Hart Foundation. Jesse’s hat is insane. Any bigger, and he’d look like Homer Simpson when he tried to expose the Kwik-E-Mart for selling tainted food.
Jesse calls the Rockers “somersaulting sissies”, while Bret calls them “tumbling teeny-boppers”. Neidhart tells them that after the Hart Attack, they can join Demolition in the coronary unit before manically laughing his way off the screen.
The Hart Foundation (Bret “Hitman” Hart & Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart) vs. The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty) - No, this is not the more infamous SNME match these teams would have later in 1990.
Again, these graphics!
Backstage, Mean Gene chats with the Rockers. Shawn says they have all the ammunition they need to take the Hart Foundation out, while Marty says that THEY want a tag title shot against Demolition as well. The Hart Foundation should prepare for a broken heart!
The camera pans up from behind the horses the announcers rode in on earlier. Getting the horses’ asses on camera HAD to be a Vince McMahon idea.
Marty and Bret start off, with the former using his agility to evade the Hitman until he runs into a hiptoss. Jannetty kicks Hart and tags Shawn in for a top rope crossbody, but Bret rolls through for a two-count! The Rockers hit a double-team boot and a double Russian legsweep, but the Anvil comes in and absolutely TRUCKS both guys with a double shoulderblock.
Neidhart tags in and bowls Marty over with another shoulderblock, but Jannetty comes back with a drop toehold before tagging out to Shawn. He attempts to match power with the Anvil but soon uses his agility to escape a bodyslam and hit a dropkick. Anvil catches a crossbody with a slam, then Bret comes in. Him and Shawn have a quick sequence that results in an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. Jim re-enters and Irish whips Shawn, with Bret providing a knee to the back in an illegal assist from the apron.
Shawn takes a massive bump from a Neidhart back body drop, then the Harts continue to work Michaels over. Bret whips Anvil into a shoulderblock on Shawn for two, but Shawn gets a sunset flip for his own near fall. Demolition come out to get a closer look at the action.
Vince tries to say it's a “birds-eye view”, which is a pet peeve of mine. A “birds-eye view” describes a view from above. You know, like how a BIRD sees something. Unless he's describing an emu or a penguin, it's the wrong usage of that phrase.
But I digress.
Bret hits a backbreaker on Shawn, but the Hitman is distracted by the Demos. That allows Shawn to dropkick him to the floor, where Ax and Smash go to help Bret back up, but Hart fiercely objects as SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Bret still working away on Shawn until he misses a second-rope elbowdrop. It’s HOT TAG MARTY, who hits Bret with a flying back elbow and slugs Neidhart in the corner. Jannetty hits a powerslam and a superkick for two, then he lands a corner roll-up for another near-fall. Hart counters a back body drop with a neckbreaker, then manages a tag to the Anvil. Slingshot splash from Anvil misses, and Michaels checks back in…only to immediately take a 360 bump off a Neidhart shoulderblock!
Shawn kicks out and knocks Neidhart down with a back elbow for a two-count. Anvil catches a crossbody, but Shawn shifts his weight into a pinning combination. Neidhart presses him out of the ring and in front of Demolition. They go to pull Shawn up, but Marty objects, resulting in all six men brawling in the ring! Both teams are disqualified as referees manage to separate everyone.
***1/2 - This was a very good television tag match, with the Harts acting as the defacto heels; a smart move given their size advantage and experience as antagonists. All four guys cut a quick pace with some fun offense, awesome meatheadedness from Anvil, and crazy bumping from the Rockers.
It’s interesting that this three-way rivalry is composed of all babyface teams, giving us a rare bit of “shades of gray” that would define wrestling characters and storylines later in the decade. Granted, we’ll have a heel turn soon, but it’s still kind of neat here.
Now we cut to Mean Gene, who is with the Ultimate Warrior. Thanks for finally showing up, WARYAH. He’s got a WWF Championship belt with a white strap, so he probably lost or gave the damn thing away already.
Okerlund brings up his opponent tonight, Haku. Warrior faces away from the camera, rambling about the darkness of the future, and that dwelling on the past is a waste of time. He can only control his present and future destinies as “the grains of sand go through your normal hourglass”. He has been chosen to lead his Warriors through darkness and fear!
Haku and Bobby Heenan face a different WARYAH than even yesterday! Haku is mere moments away from being OBLITERATED into Warrior’s past!
I really didn’t miss having to recap or describe these. Just…bizarre stuff from Warrior.
The Ultimate Warrior (c) pinned Haku to retain the WWF Championship.
The match was rather heatless compared to the reaction for the Hogan bout.
Big Boss Man defeated Akeem via disqualification after a run-in by Ted DiBiase.
We cut to Sean Mooney, who is with Bobby Heenan. Despite the lack of success for Haku tonight, Heenan and Rick Rude picked up on some flaws in Warrior’s game.
Mooney asks what Rude has to do with this. Have you NOT watched all those gym vignettes, Sean?
Heenan explains that Rude is going through extensive training and reminds us that Rude was the only man to beat Warrior for a title. Rude will bring the WWF Championship back to the Heenan Family.
We throw it to Mean Gene and Ultimate Warrior, who has his rebuttal. Warrior says that the power of the WARYAH is out of control! He will reopen the wounds of their past, and the power of the Warrior is a disease that is OUT OF CONTROOOOLLLL!
Alrighty, then.
At least Warrior FINALLY addressed Rude after weeks of taunting and pumping iron.
We get the show ending, with Jesse and Vince on their horses. See you again for Saturday Night’s Main Event on July 28th!
Get used to being wanted by the authorities, Vince.
International Championship Wrestling
It’s time for our first look at the Teen Report with Dawna! This is a recurring interview segment hosted by teenager Dawna, who speaks with a very thick accent. Seriously, she opens her mouth, and Staten Island completely falls out. It’s amazing. Her guest is the man that was chosen by the fans as Wrestler of the Month for April 1990: SUPER DUPER MARIO!
Mario, in the most hilariously phony Italian accent I’ve heard in a good while, says he’s-a happy to be here. He waves to Giuseppe and his-a momma back home, and “little Luigi”. He’s been getting a lot of fan letters from his “little bambinos”, but it’s not easy to get through them all as he “don’t read the English too good yet”.
Dawna reads a fan question, asking what his future plans for ICW are. Mario hopes to wrestle “da Tony Atlas” and “make-a momma proud”. Another fan asks what Mario likes to do in his spare time. SDM naturally likes to play video games, which breaks Dawna. He’s-a pretty good at Nintendo, then he tells Sega to “shove that pointy blue speed freak up your ass sideways”. “Sonic the Hedgehog” didn’t even come out until 1991, so this remark REALLY caught me off-guard.
I may have made some of that up.
Super Duper Mario also plays soccer, but he falls-a down a lot. However, he leaves out his other pursuits, like playing tennis, golf, baseball and Olympic sports. He also doesn’t mention go-karting, refereeing, working in a cookie factory, combating viruses with giant pills while flaunting a likely fraudulent medical degree, time travel, and teaching children how to type.
Dawna awkwardly brings the segment to a close as the Super Duper One waves to the kids at home.
Between Dawna’s general awkwardness and the goofiness of the Mario character, I honestly could not stop laughing at this stuff. 10/10, no notes.
Super Duper Mario was portrayed by Rusty Brooks, a journeyman wrestler who was a regular in the US indie scene. He also spent a few years as an enhancement talent in the WWF, even working Hulk Hogan on television.
He also spent much time tutoring future grapplers, operating the School of Hard Knocks with Boris Malenko and working as a trainer at Gangrel’s Wrestling Asylum. Counted among his students are Gangrel himself, former WCW/CMLL star Norman Smiley, and AEW/ROH’s Diamanté. He sadly passed away in 2021 at the age of 63.
Much like other popular kid-friendly franchises, such as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Power Rangers, Mario would inspire multiple wrestling gimmicks, mostly aimed at young children.
Aside from Super Duper Mario, the American indie scene had the note-as-Duper Super Mario, portrayed by Claudio Montrosse. He was far shorter at 5’1”, much heavier, and looked less like Mario than his ICW counterpart. He looked like he could be Super Duper Mario’s dad. Maybe the suspenders are a shoutout to Rainbow Road?
Interestingly enough, he had apparently used the name “Super Mario” since emigrating from his native Italy to the US in the 1970’s, several years before Mario’s first appearance in “Donkey Kong”. If that tidbit is true, both the wrestler and the Nintendo character having the same name and Italian-ness was pure happenstance. It wasn’t until after the game series became popular that he started to add more Mario-esque elements to his presentation.
Super Mario mostly plied his trade in smaller indies in the south, but he did gain a measure of quasi-fame for some sporadic appearances in the USWA and Smoky Mountain Wrestling during the early-mid ‘90s. He was mostly a barely mobile chonky fellow, though he did have surprising spurts of agility at times, and he seemed pretty well-liked in his region. I’m not sure what he’s up to now (he owned a pizza joint, but I don’t know if it’s still operational), but I believe he’s still with us as of January 2025.
In 1986, New Japan Pro Wrestling was reportedly negotiating with Nintendo themselves for a Mario gimmick. Depending on who you ask, the talks either fell through, or they were so prolonged that Antonio Inoki just said, “fuck it”. Either way, despite negotiations not panning out, the Lion forged ahead with a version of the Mario gimmick for a brief period. Apparently, the first foreigner Inoki had in mind for the guise didn’t make the trip overseas, so the Super Mario Man gimmick was “gifted” to the next gaijin he saw, that being Ray Candy, who had wrestled as Kareem Muhammad in the southern US territories in the early 1980s.
Other than the red, white, and green colors on the mask, there really wasn’t much there to tie Super Mario Man to the fictitious plumber that spawned its name. He looked more like a bootleg Strong Machine. The gimmick lasted a couple of months before it was permanently shelved.
Notably, Candy had a hand in training Kane and New Jack in the art of graps before passing away in 1994.
There are likely many more Mario-based gimmicks in various tiny indies around the world, and I’m honestly shocked Nintendo didn’t sue all these guys and their entire bloodlines given how pathologically litigious they are about that kind of thing.
For me, though? I love this kind of stuff. Super Duper Mario and Super Mario in particular are precisely the kind of wonderful indie sleaze that gets me out of bed in the morning.
On the less legally dubious side of things, the most famous portrayal of Mario by a wrestler has to be Captain Lou Albano for the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, which ran from September to December 1989. The program had such a short run in real time but felt like it lasted for years thanks to syndication and a hefty 65 episodes during that three-month span.
The Super Mario Bros. Super Show was a Sunday morning staple of my childhood via reruns on YTV, a god-tier channel for Canadian kids back in the day. The Super Show blended live action segments featuring Albano’s Mario and Danny Wells’ Luigi with animated shorts based on either “Super Mario Bros.” (with both actors voicing their respective characters) or “The Legend of Zelda”. Yes, it was the latter that gave the internet the “Well, excuuuuuuuuse me, Princess” meme all those thousands of years ago.
The show was not short on cameo appearances, with Magic Johnson, Ernie Hudson, Vanna White, the Milli Vanilli guys, and more showing up. From a wrestling perspective, Sgt. Slaughter, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, and Rock ‘N Wrestling lynchpin Cyndi Lauper paid a visit to the Brooklyn brothers.
…
I’m sorry, I went completely off the rails here, but when the hell else am I going to get to talk about these Mario gimmicks? I assure you, I’m done with my Mario side-tangent, so let’s continue the review proper.
So, who the hell was Dawna? I really don’t know much about her, but she was apparently the stepdaughter of ICW booker, producer, and wrestler Tony Rumble. We’ll have some more Teen Report to look forward to during the course of this project.
Mario and the “Teen Report” segments came about as ICW wanted to incorporate more kid-friendly elements to their programming. Other examples of this from ICW include Curly Moe, a “Three Stooges”-inspired character, and the Equalizers: Zip, Zap (the future Johnny Grunge of The Public Enemy), and Zoom.
Even though some of the gimmicks were incredibly dopey and silly, wrestling companies having characters that appeal to younger fans is never a bad idea. In the limited footage I found of Super Duper Mario and Super Mario, the little bambinos seemed to really take to those guys.
We close out the week with Tony Atlas, who’s wasting his valuable time talking to MORONS and PENCIL-NECK GEEKS. He’s been ALLLLL over this world and he hasn’t met a man that can fill his boots.
He talks about the Wild Bunch, then addresses that TRAITOR Phil Apollo and Vic Steamboat, reminding the latter that it says “wrestling” on the marquee, not “jiu-jipso”.
Ladies regret marrying their husbands when they see him! HE IS THE MAN!
“I AM THE MAN! MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT! I AM THE MAN! GET DOWN YO' KNEES WHEN YOU SEE ME COMIN'! I AM THE MAN! GIVE ME THE RESPECT THAT I NEED!”
Before him, there was none, and after him, there will be none! There is only ONE champion, that being Tony Atlas.
Another killer promo from Tony, and a hell of a contrast to the Super Duper Mario interview. Again, I know that he’s pretty washed in-ring, but he had the promo skills, swagger, and look that could have really made a dent in a national company. We’ll see later on this year what is in store for him in the WWF, and it’s a colossal waste of his strengths.
If the WWF brought him in and let him cut THESE promos, kept the character, and put him over an upper-card babyface or two, I think he could have been a solid challenger for the Ultimate Warrior. The matches would have been pure tripe, sure, but Atlas might have helped talk a few more people into the building.
THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
The Ultimate Warrior’s first title defense on U.S. soil, a house show match against Mr. Perfect in Providence, Rhode Island, drew a mere 4,700 fans. It’s not exactly good, but there’s usually a post-WrestleMania lull that could explain a downturn in interest.
Plus, it’s a bit of a lame duck matchup as Rude’s been getting the vignettes challenging Warrior. Also, while Perfect was a fantastic wrestler, he wasn’t exactly a strong challenger for the title, especially after losing to Brutus Beefcake at WrestleMania.
Terry Taylor, the former Red Rooster, isn’t going anywhere. The WWF is keeping him locked in his contract and plan to use him again in August.
Despite previous reports, Paul E. Dangerously actually IS coming back to manage as well as commentate. He is being paired with future 2004 Smackdown nemesis Mean Mark Callous.
NEXT TIME: We get some EMLL trios action, Bill Dundee vs. John Tatum, and other stuff!
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