Ryan Navigates '90 - #17 (3/11-3/17)
The WWF continues their run of ridiculous promos, Ole Anderson intimidates, El Satanico and Jerry Estrada hate each other, and Tony Atlas defends his gold against...Atsushi Onita?
Good day!
It’s another full week of action this time around as the Saturday slates seem to have lightened up a bit. We’ll get some lucha trios action, Hogan, Warrior, and Piper insanity, WrestleMania build, and an epic (?) clash between Tony Atlas and FMW’s Atsushi Onita for the ICW Championship!
SUNDAY, MARCH 11th
WWF Wrestling Challenge
“Mean” Gene Okerlund welcomes Rowdy Roddy Piper to the interview platform. Piper stands in a way where only half his face is visible. Oh, crap, I know where this is going…
Gene asks about Piper’s approaching match with Bad News Brown at WrestleMania VI. Piper says he came from Saskatoon Glasgow, and it took a long time for him to earn the respect of the people there. Piper says he asked Sapphire (the apparent authority on Black people on the WWF roster) if they respect Bad News in Harlem, and they think he’s just a JERK. As Piper rants, he turns to face the camera and reveals half of his face painted black. Oh, sweet Jesus.
I’m going to avoid directly showing much blackface, but it’s pretty nuts.
Piper says he can be Black or white, but it’s what’s inside that counts. He then rails on Brown for being a bully (according to Sapphire) and for being willingly BALD. Piper then makes fun of the redundancy of Brown calling him a “spineless cockroach”. Cockroaches don’t have spines!
Roddy says that he had to face Bad News at Mania because nobody else would, then says that he’s Black, he’s white, and he’s in a dress before asking, “Ain't I crazy enough to get the job done?!?!”. At WrestleMania, Bad News will be NO NEWS!
File this one under “shit you won’t see nowadays”, and rightfully so. I generally love Piper’s manic energy and his promos, but the feud really didn’t need racism (especially from the BABYFACE). I can KINDA see what Piper was going for with the whole “it doesn’t matter what color you are, but what’s on the inside” thing, but using minstrel show imagery wasn’t way to do it.
Bad News was apparently none too happy working with Piper because of these promos, and I *really* can’t blame him here.
As an aside, it’s been a WILD year of promos so far. We’ve had racism in multiple territories, Warrior telling Hogan to hijack a plane, Hogan and Warrior in general, Gary Young telling Dustin Rhodes that he should have been aborted, steroid accusations, and probably some that I’m missing.
FRIDAY, MARCH 16th
EMLL Super Viernes
Atlantis, Villano III & El Satanico vs. Pirata Morgan, Jerry Estrada & Emilio Charles Jr. - I’m quite amused that dudes named “Villano” and “Satanico” are on the babyface side. It’s also wild that 74-year-old Satanico is still an active wrestler as of November 2024. Atlantis and Morgan, both in their early 60s, are also still competing. That’s some impressive longevity.
Charles worked all over Mexico for many years and was a member of some notable factions, including Los Destructores, Los Guapos, and Los Talibanes. He passed away from to kidney failure in 2012.
PRIMERA CAIDA: The rudos gang up on Satanico to start us off, then we get some brawling in and out of the ring with Estrada especially clobbering Satanico. It’s a brief six-way fray until things settle down with Villano taking some abuse. Satanico and Estrada again trade blows, then it’s another donnybrook. Atlantis takes a huge splash from Morgan for three, then Morgan hits a cannonball onto Villano for another pinfall to earn the first decision.
The heels continue abusing Villano during the rest period.
SEGUNDA CAIDA: Satanico again gets double-teamed to start, with Estrada getting some free punches and kicks in. Satanico catches a kick and goes for a choke, but the rudos break it up, and it’s another kerfuffle with many involved. Satanico and Estrada trade punches, with Estrada goading him on, but they end up on the floor.
Morgan and Atlantis check in, with the fellas having one hell of a reversal sequence before Atlantis puts him down with a quebradora! Morgan wriggles to the floor for respite, but he gets attacked by the tecnicos! Satanico and Estrada again go at it, with Satanico getting a high knee, then eventually dropkicking Jerry to the floor in a crazy bump.
Charles and Villano have their own little athletic sequence punctuated with Villano armdrags. Estrada and Satanico again engage in fisticuffs, with Satanico catching Estrada out of the corner with a standing figure four for the three. Atlantis hits a moonsault press onto Morgan for three, and Villano hits a top-rope armdrag on Charles for the pin and the second fall!
TERCERA CAIDA: Estrada chokes Satanico against the ropes until the tecnicos stop him. The heels stomp Satanico on the floor like he was a piece of computer equipment in Office Space, then Morgan rams Villano’s face into the ringpost as Charles and Atlantis tussle in the ring. Estrada then eats ringpost courtesy of Satanico, then we settle down with Atlantis peppering Charles with rights. Morgan tries to cut off a Villano submission and eats a DDT and a hard Irish whip into the corner for his trouble.
Satanico checks in and starts to get the best of Estrada with a bulldog, but Charles breaks up an armbar. Charles tries an abdominal stretch on Satanico, but Villano just punches him in the face! I love a simple counter; no need to complicate things.
Moments later, Villano gets Charles with a flying knee off the apron! Atlantis hits Morgan with a powerbomb facebuster and gets him with an Asai moonsault! Estrada slams Satanico and hits a top-rope senton for three! The rudos take the match 2-1!
Post-match, Estrada and Satanico continue sniping at each other, with the tecnicos clobbering Estrada with a box.
***1/4 - A meandering second fall aside, this was a highly entertaining trios match with palpable distaste between Estrada and Satanico. I really dug the little war they had. Plus, the others kept things going with fun brawling and big moves, particularly from Atlantis, Villano, and Morgan. Admittedly, I haven’t seen a ton of Pirata Morgan, but I really liked what I saw here with his offense and bumping.
Next week, Satanico and Estrada will settle their beef in a Hair vs. Hair match!
NWA Power Hour
This week on the Louisville Slugger, we have crotchety-ass Ole Anderson. Jim Cornette introduces him as “one of the most evil men I’ve ever known”, and he was likely shooting.
Your weekly reminder that the NWA is brought to you by ROOS! Could you imagine if they made an Ole Anderson ROOS? It would probably just be a pair of steel-toed work boots.
Jim asks about Arn Anderson’s injury and how it impacts the team’s feud with the Steiner Brothers. Ole says NOBODY stops the Andersons and the Horsemen, then they talk about Gene Anderson’s injury many moons ago and how Ole sacrificed his own (kayfabe) for tag team gold and glory.
Ole makes it sound like he’s willing to do the same to Arn, but doesn’t quite say it. Anderson threatens to go after the Steiners’ arms and maybe an eye or two, then says that winning the tag titles is more important than life itself.
Very strong promo from Ole here. Not many people can sound legitimately menacing while looking like a middle school gym teacher, but he pulls it off. He’s pretty much winding down his in-ring career, so we’ll see how this issue with the Steiners plays out.
USWA (Dallas)
Slated next is the ending of Steve Austin vs. “Gentleman” Chris Adams, but it appears to be the finish to the same match as last week, so I’ll skip it. Kind of a shame, because I would have liked some new Steve Austin content on 3/16. Oh, well. We’ll get their “No Referee” match next week, though!
SATURDAY, MARCH 17th
WWF Superstars
We start off St. Paddy’s Day with the show’s opening, as Jesse “The Body” Ventura, dressed as Hulk Hogan, does an impression of the union buster himself. He rips off his shirt and predicts a Hogan victory at WrestleMania. Jesse in full Hulk regalia is a cursed image.
Speaking of Hulk, it’s PROMO TIME! BOOYAH! Hogan is glad that he got to wrestle Dino Bravo last week (I wasn’t) as he got to show the Hulkamaniacs that Hulkamania is still the strongest force in the WWF. He talks about Earthquake cheapshotting him, but he was absorbing energy from the Hulksters until the Ultimate Warrior ran in! Hogan wasn’t sure if Warrior was going to take him out while he was vulnerable, but the little Hulksters tried to convince him that he wasn’t the enemy.
When Warrior hit the ring, it was like a total eclipse of the sun. The Hulkamaniacs live in the sun, but they don’t like the darkness. Everyone, the sun, the moon, and the Earth are all one energy, but that energy is divided between Hogan and the Warrior. After WrestleMania, it’ll be the Hulkster and GOD they still trust!
WARYAH says that only the Warriors understand that there is no more fear as he talks to his hands. We must fulfill our destiny to repay the ones that DID make the sacrifice. We must protect HO KOGAN.
He then talks about his Warriors who, upon his command, will jump off the roof of the SkyDome to sacrifice all that they have. The FUCK?
Warrior must protect HO KOGAN from his own fears. HO KOGAN already knows that WARYAH can protect the Warriors from natural disasters. However, Warrior has no control over the Warriors, so HO KOGAN, Warrior cannot protect YOU from the power of the Ultimate WARYAH.
Warrior moves on from telling Hogan to hijack a plane to talking about his Warriors committing cultish mass suicide. Awesome.
As much as I’ve gotten some entertainment out of these promos, they’re getting exhausting at this point. WrestleMania needs to just GET HERE.
It’s the Brother Love Show! Yay. This week’s guests are Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and The Colossal Connection (André the Giant & Haku).
Love asks about their upcoming WrestleMania title defense against Demolition. Heenan says that Demolition are the problem, and Heenan has the problem solvers. No, not Tyson Tomko, but Haku and André. Haku actually talks, telling the Demos to bring it on, and Brother Giant says that Ax and Smash will remain ex-champions.
Heenan says that there’s no love in the Heenan Family. Only hate and disgust for Demolition. The Brain reiterates that they’ll solve the Demolition problem at WrestleMania. André says that they’re a SMALL problem.
Nice, serious promo from Heenan, and André still seems very scary despite being old and as mobile as a garden slug on valium. The eyes alone are nightmare fuel.
International Championship Wrestling
As usual with ICW, we get a promo from Tony Atlas. As an aside, instead of "Tony Atlas", I almost typed out "Tony Atlus". I then had visions of a wrestler who would change personas mid-match depending on his opponent's weaknesses and gets stronger depending on his friendship with other characters.
Anyhoo, Bob Dow brings up Atlas holding onto the title via nefarious tactics multiple items before asking about tonight’s challenger, “Frontier Martial Arts Champion” Atsushi Onita. Atlas wasn’t told about the challenge from the Japanese competitor, but he’ll face him! He didn’t like not being part of the board meeting that decided on the challenger, though. Atlas knows nothing about karate, but he’s a RASSLER!
Atlas puts over Onita being the most dangerous man in wrestling today and keeps freaking out about the prospect of having to face him, even accusing Bob Dow of laughing at him.
“I don’t like this!
IIIIIIIIII DOOOOOON’T LIIIIIIIIIIKE THIS!”
Atlas’ delivery and facial expressions had me in absolute bits. Very entertaining promo that disposes of Tony’s usual bravado and replaces it with paranoia and fear. It makes Onita seem that much more like a threat and helps to build up his mystique.
ICW Championship: Tony Atlas (c) vs. Atsushi Onita - I don’t care how bad this match will be; I just love the fact that it exists. There is no amount of drugs on this planet that could get me to come up with this specific match-up for 1990. God bless ICW’s open door policy.
Tony’s got The Duke in tow, and I kinda dig the entrance robe. Simple and effective.
Onita’s got the red facepaint on and seems to be doing a lot of Great Muta/Great Kabuki mannerisms here. This would foreshadow The Great Nita, an alter ego that Onita would use years later in Japan for more violent matches, kinda like Finn Bálor’s “Demon”, Jushin Liger’s “Kishin Liger”, and Chris Jericho’s…sigh…”Painmaker” personas.
You can tell it’s a northeast indie promotion because the color commentator gets overtly racist about Onita. He even debates the legality of his shinpads!
Onita starts with some teased kicks, playing up the martial arts aspect of this iteration of his character.
Atlas gets a quick fireman’s carry takeover, but Onita sprays some green mist in his eyes and takes over with chops! Atlas reverses and rains down some clubbing blows as Onita’s top starts to come undone. After taking a back suplex, Onita goes to the throat, then starts to works what is meant to be a nerve hold, but looks more like a gentle shoulder rub as INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with the nerve hold still in place. That goes on for a while until Atlas fights out with a kick and a big headbutt. Atlas hits a clothesline and a splash for two, then Atlas awkward stalls with a powerbomb/piledriver until Onita uppercuts him in the beanbag. Onita hits some corner kicks to the back of the head.
Onita resumes giving Atlas massage therapy until Tony makes another comeback. While Atlas pounds away in the corner, Onita sprays some mist at him, but gets the referee instead. The referee calls for the disqualification to Onita as both competitors brawl on the floor and to the back.
3/4* - Yep, this was pretty awful as expected. Tony actually wasn’t terrible here, but Onita seemed to leave his working boots in his hotel safe. Tony working babyface here was really weird after weeks of great heel promos. The DQ finish was pretty lame, but had to be expected.
On the bright side, at least it was short, and as I said earlier, I love that this match happened and that it was captured on videotape.
Now it's time for THE TUGBOAT TRIBUNE!
As always, the news comes courtesy of Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
The early scuttlebutt for the Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger rematch at Capital Combat is that it will be a Hair vs. Hair match.
Thankfully, that stip wouldn’t end up materializing. Could you imagine EITHER of those guys bald?
Michael “P.S.” Hayes was suspended for 30 days, but it wasn’t explicitly stated why.
It was probably drugs, alcohol, or racism, or any combination of those.
Scotty the Body, the future Raven, received offers from the NWA, but he’s opting to stay in the Portland area for now.
The NWA is negotiating with Paul E. Dangerously to drop his pending lawsuit and return to TV after getting fired by Ric Flair in 1989.
Ted Turner had apparently made an overture to Verne Gagne to buy out the AWA completely so that he can have their ESPN timeslot and their remaining contracted talent. Verne declined because he wanted to soldier on with the AWA brand.
NEXT TIME: The AWA makes an appearance with Tully Blanchard in an elimination trios match! Plus, a couple of WWF matches from MSG, the No Referee match, Hair vs. Hair, and more!
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