The Wrestling Society Xperience - WSX Episode Three (2/13/07)
Tables, Ladders, Cervezas, Electrocutions, and Quiznos!
Wrestling Society X - Episode Three
We catch up with new WSX Champion Vampiro, who apparently took advantage of a “Buy One, Get One Free” candle sale at Bed Bath & Beyond.
The WSX title is his life and his DESTINY, and he’s ready to sacrifice anything for it, including his soul. Vamp performs a blood sacrifice ritual, much like Lou Thesz, Rikidōzan, and all the other great champions before him.
Members of post-hardcore outfit Sparta join Kris Kloss and Bret Ernst on commentary. I’ve never heard of Sparta beyond this, but they're apparently made up of former members of At The Drive-In. I do like “One-Armed Scissor”, so… cool, I guess?
The Filth & The Fury vs. The Trailer Park Boyz
Josh Raymond and Teddy Hart do a fun reversal sequence to start, then Matt Cross quickly catches Nate Webb with a tree of woe dropkick and a split-legged moonsault for two. Cross counters a headscissors with a facebuster, then Hart hits Raymond with a cradle DDT. Hart (and his shiny pants) then hits a HUGE springboard moonsault to the floor!
Cross then follows with a corkscrew springboard moonsault of his own, but a moonsault from Hart hits boots. The Boyz double-team Tedward as the Sparta guys reminisce about World Class Championship Wrestling. Man, remember when Kevin Von Erich tombstoned Terry Gordy into an exploding coffin? That was awesome!
Hart escapes Soylent Green and lands a double-underhook Canadian Destroyer! Jug hits Hart with an over-the-shoulder backbreaker, but Cross gets a springboard double stomp seconds later.
Teddy grabs a live wire and electrocutes Webb! He then pours water on Webb for increased conductivity, then shocks him AGAIN, this time with sparks flying everywhere and ridiculous sound effects. Good lord! If possible cardiac arrest wasn’t enough, Hart then puts Webb through a table with Open Hart Surgery (twisting senton)! In the ring, Cross hits a shooting star legdrop on Raymond for the pin!
The Take: That was a rather ELECTRIC opener…
But, yeah, this was a really fun showcase for The Filth & The Fury. Teddy and M-Dogg 20 (a really stupid name; I’m glad he started going by Matt Cross) looked crisp, and their offense was spectacular. The Boyz were mostly warm bodies for Hart and Cross to do cool shit to, but they served their purpose well. Also, the electricity.
More than anyone else on the roster, Hart's myriad shortcomings as a worker were expertly camouflaged by MTV's editing, as we see all his pretty aerial offense and not much else. The stuff he did hit? Excellent. If he was in his right mind, was able to iron out his flaws, and wasn't an abusive piece of garbage, he'd be much bigger deal nowadays.
The Vibes: Rather strong.
We get a replay of the Kaos/Aaron Aguilera backstage segment from last week’s WSXtra to set up tonight's main.
Jack Evans vs. El Hombre Blanco Enmascarado
“The Masked White Guy” is PWG's Quicksilver. Sadly, he would retire in early 2007 due to a bad case of MRSA. He hails from “Just North of the Border”.
Hombre attacks Evans during his breakdancing, then hits a springboard clothesline and a topé in short order. Soon, Hombre lands a fisherman’s buster for two, but Evans comes back with a rebound moonsault elbow for two! Evans blasts Hombre with a hook kick and a V-Trigger for another near-fall, then Evan scores the 630 for the pin.
The Take: Very quick, but Hombre got to shine a bit before Evans put him down with some nutty moves.
The Vibes: Mild.
We get a terrific video package for Matt Classic, presented like an old-timey film. Kloss on commentary explains to the Sparta guys that Classic was in a coma for 40 years and woke up in the old-school gear, thinking it’s still the 1960’s. Seems plausible.
Tables, Ladders, and Cervezas: Los Pochos Guapos (Joey “Kaos” Munoz & Aaron “Jesus” Aguilera) vs. Luke Hawx & Alkatrazz
This one’s been building up since the debut episode. If Aguilera’s trousers were any higher, he’d be Mr. Pants from America’s Got Talent.
Unlike other TLC matches, this one doesn’t feature a MacGuffin hanging above the ring, but the titular weapons are strewn about the WSX Bunker, and it’s one fall to a finish.
It’s a brawl to start, with Aguilera launching Hawx into a ladder, see-sawing it into Trazz’s face. Munoz hits a Kaos Driver and heads up top, but Aguilera directs him to the ladder. Aguilera turns around and flirts with the female plants in the front row as Hawx rolls out of the way of a huge ladder moonsault from Kaos. Trazz slingshots the former Jesus into the ladder while Hawx hits Kaos with a flatliner. Alkatrazz goes for the Undertaker ropewalk into a tornado DDT, but Aguilera blocks it and suplexes him into the corner-propped ladder.
Hawx hits a springboard dropkick onto Aguilera, but Kaos hits Hawx with the Gaucho Bomb (a powerbomb into a piledriver). Aguilera and Kaos argue over the use of the cervezas, and that leads into Aguilera accidentally causing Kaos to get facebustered into the beers by Hawx! Trazz powerbombs a busted-open Kaos through a table and gets the pin.
The Take: Definitely just felt like a bunch of stuff that happened, and not in the usual glorious trainwreck way this show is capable of. Kaos takes a couple of nutty bumps, but there isn't much else. The dissention between Los Pochos Guapos also just feels really contrived.
The Vibes: Rather feeble.
To close out the show, we cut to the boys at commentary eating Quiznos for some reason. We actually still have a Quiznos around here. I might need to hit it up.
NEXT TIME: WSXtra Episode 3, with a future AEW TNT champion making his debut, more MATT CLASSIC and D.I.F.H., and other stuff!