Ryan's Dive into '95 - Part 43 (10/22 - 10-28)
The WWF craps an egg with In Your House 4! Plus, bonus Avatar content, awesome action from AJPW and FMW, and more!
If you haven’t read it already, please check out my introductory article that explains what this series is all about. As a reminder, footage is sourced from the Goodhelmet 1995 Yearbook, unless otherwise stated.
Also, some of the images from the FMW match are a bit violent, so reader discretion is advised.
How ya now?
Hopefully, you’re doing better than the WWF did this week. We look at one of the all-time worst PPV offerings and the debut of a terrible gimmick. On the positive side, we get some great singles action from All Japan, a tremendous brawl from FMW, and more!
Well…
OCTOBER 22nd
WWF In Your House 4: Great White North
We start off with the fourth edition of the budget-friendly (but not buy-rate friendly) In Your House series. We actually have a pretty significant debut that wasn’t included in the Goodhelmet Yearbook compilation, so I’ll cover that here as BONUS MATERIAL.
Goldust vs. Marty Jannetty - After getting shitcanned from WCW for bleeding in the King of the Road match from WCW Uncensored, Dustin Rhodes is making his in-ring debut with the Goldust character; one of the more shockingly enduring gimmicks over the years. Rhodes actually had a brief WWF stint in 1990-1991, primarily tagging with his father, Dusty.
Much of the entrance is already fully-realized. The lighting, the robe, the wig, the glitter, the mannerisms, and the music. I’ve always like that theme. The gear and makeup, though? Not so much. The eye makeup is minimal, and it makes the black ears look especially odd. It needed more black accentuation. The bodysuit is not exactly flattering. It’s too plain, like a gold and silver blob. The look just feels half-baked, but would get much cooler in the future.
Goldust removes his wig (much to the shock of Vince McMahon because that hair looked TOTALLY real…) and tries to attack Marty before the bell, but Jannetty fights him off and clotheslines him out of the ring. Marty runs out and hits Goldy with a clothesline on the floor, leading to a quasi-360 bump from Dustin. Back in, Goldust takes over with some punches, including his trademark kneeling punch, but Marty comes back with a hurricanrana. Goldust shoves Marty a few times, but Marty continues to have his number with his own punches. Goldust fires back with a clothesline of his own, giving us the proper 360 degree sell from Jannetty.
The Bizarre One beats down on Marty for a while as the announcers make movie references and question Goldust’s sexuality. Get used to THAT. Goldust grounds Jannetty for a while. A long while. Jannetty manages a snapmare on Goldust over the top rope to the floor! OK, that was pretty cool. Jannetty’s advantage doesn’t last, though, as Goldy runs him into the ringpost and resumes the wearing-down.
Goldust suplexes Marty back in for two, then back to the grind. The announcers mention a 100-year old lady enjoying the show. She was 25 when this match started. They mess up a backflip out of a back body drop, then The Dust ducks a charging Marty, allowing for a nasty post bump. The camera cuts to some vampire-looking fella in the crowd, like if Bela Lugosi and Marty Feldman had a kid that grew up to like bad wrestling.
Goldust hits a DDT for two, but Marty comes back with the litigated Rocker Dropper. He heads up for a fistdrop, but Goldust dodges. Marty does land on his feet and hits an elbow for two, then makes a comeback with some clotheslines…but Jannetty eats foot after coming off the top. Goldust then hits a front suplex to put this one to bed.
* - Yikes. This was no good. Marty wasn't as great as he usually is, but he gave it a solid try. Goldust didn't look very good here, and it took him quite a while to get comfortable working the WWF style. Also, he spent most of his career to this point as a babyface, so having to control the match as a heel isn’t something with which he’s adept.
The result is a slow, plodding 11+ minute match with minimal crowd heat. I would have went with a much shorter, punchier match (maybe against someone else if you didn’t want to have Jannetty lose so easily) and let Goldy work out the kinks by doing longer matches around the horn.
We were originally scheduled to have Shawn Michaels defend the Intercontinental title against Dean Douglas HA HA. However, after the horrific beating suffered as a result of an encounter with several Marines/thugs/a roving gang of Tom Brokaws, WWF President Gorilla Monsoon forbids Shawn from wrestling with a concussion and forces him to relinquish the title. Dean Douglas is declared the NEW WWF Intercontinental Champion and snatches the belt out of Shawn’s hands. Shawn upholds his time-honored tradition of dropping championships without being in a match.
We see Shawn giving a wistful look back at the ring. Say what you want about Shawn and the WWF, but they knew how to effectively milk this whole thing. As a naive 11-year old, I bought this whole thing, and a lot of others did, too.
As an old man with decades of hindsight and understanding of what happened, though? Get fucked.
The celebration for Dean doesn’t last long, however, as he is immediately forced to defend his newly-won belt.
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Dean Douglas (c) vs. Razor Ramon - Razor runs into the ring, not even wearing his trademark vest and chains, and smacks Douglas around to start. Ramon spends the first several minutes working over the arm. Exciting!
Douglas finally gets a brief flurry of offense, punching and kicking Razor until he leaps into a Sack of Shit. Razor clotheslines Douglas out, then eventually slugs Dean off the apron after the latter was unable to follow up on an eyepoke. Razor suplexes Dean back in and continues to beat him down, focusing on the back this time. They brawl a bit on the outside with Razor maintaining the upper hand.
Back in, Razor goes for his usual “Try the Razor’s Edge close to the ropes” and, to my amazement, gets backdropped out of the ring. Douglas clubs away at Razor and works over the back and midsection…until Razor catches a leaping Douglas with a chokeslam! Razor hits some right hands and reverses a crossbody into a pin attempt for two. Dean manages a dropkick, but Razor breaks the pin via the ropes. Soon, Ramon hits a back suplex on Dean near the ropes. Razor lazily drapes an arm over Douglas, and the ref counts to three to award Razor his then-record fourth IC title (despite Douglas’ foot being under the ropes).
DUD - Dazzling, Utterly Dazzling. There you have it, the shortest Intercontinental title reign in WWF history, lasting an entire 13 minutes, 52 seconds.
The match itself was fucking terrible. Despite the meme-ing, I’m not the biggest Shane Douglas guy out there, but I completely understand why he was so miserable in The Fed. He got absolutely geeked out here, barely getting in any kind of offense en route to losing a title he didn’t even win in a match. Razor completely gobbled Douglas up here, and the finish was ridiculously weak. They never even really followed up on the whole “Douglas’ leg being under the ropes” thing. This was Kliq politics at its peak.
As Enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant once famously said:
“This shit was SO ass.”
We now cut to the end of Diesel (c) vs. The British Bulldog for the WWF Championship. Davey Boy has Diesel in a pretty awful Sharpshooter that even Bret Hart on commentary diplomatically says is lousy.
Diesel powers out, but Bulldog soon scoops him up for the powerslam. Diesel escapes and hits a big boot, then goes after Jim Cornette, slingshotting him into the ring. Bulldog collides into Jimbo, but soon (kind of) runs Diesel into the ringpost. Bulldog then smacks the headset off of Bret, who runs into the ring and attacks Davey Boy! This results in a DQ win for Bulldog, because what this show needed to save it was a disqualification finish in the main-event title match. Diesel is not happy about the result, and this leads into a fairly lame, heatless brawl between him and Bret to build to their showdown at Survivor Series.
The full match was very slow and tedious. It was so bad that as soon as the show went off the air, Vince McMahon apparently threw down his headset and glasses in disgust and said “HORRIBLE!”. Considering Vince’s questionable standards, making him do that is an achievement.
Other stuff that happened:
Bob “Spark Plug” Holly defeated Rad Radford in a pre-show dark match.
Five years before they conspired to commit vehicular assault on Steve Austin, Hunter Hearst-Helmsley pinned Fatu with a Pedigree in a relatively inoffensive PPV opener.
The Smoking Gunns (c) successfully defended their WWF Tag Team Championship against Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid after Billy pinned Kid with a crucifix roll-up.
Razor had Billy dead to rights after a Razor's Edge, but Kid insisted on getting the pin. Ramon obliged, leading to Kid getting pinned after a lackadaisical cover.
King Mabel and Yokozuna, who were forced to wrestle each other as punishment for breaking The Undertaker’s face, slogged their way to a double-countout.
Sycho Sid defeated Henry Godwinn after around 12 minutes (!) in a post-show dark match.
Owen Hart & Yokozuna (the latter working double-duty for some reason) defeated Bam Bam Bigelow & Savio Vega in another post-show dark match.
Bret “The Hitman” Hart defeated Isaac Yankem, D.D.S. in the final dark match of the evening.
You have a PPV in fucking CANADA and both Bret AND Owen are relegated to working dark matches, yet poor Yokozuna has to work twice! Hell, the closest thing we had to a Canadian worker on the actual broadcast was Davey Boy!
Yeah, this one ended up drawing a deservedly-abysmal 90,000 PPV buys, which was a new record low for the company. Somehow, they’d actually break out the shovels and go even lower for the December In Your House show.
WWF Monday Night RAW
Who’s ready for more BONUS CONTENT?
Avatar vs. Brian Walsh - After a significant run in the independents and Smoky Mountain Wrestling, surprisingly hot free agent signing Al Snow makes his WWF debut as Avatar. I know that he’s supposed to be a stoic warrior, but he just seems to have a dead look in his eyes.
The gimmick is an odd one as Snow carries his mask to the ring, then puts it on before the match. I saw someone say that if you think of it like some sort of tokusatsu hero who gains power when putting on a mask, like Kamen Rider or the Power Rangers, it kind of makes sense. It doesn’t help that Snow’s gear is pretty much Hayabusa’s, but about a thousand times more garish.
The jobber actually gets the first bit of athleticism, nipping up after an Avatar leglock is broken up via the ropes. After some basic arm-wringing, they make a mess of a monkey flip spot, then Snow (allegedly) hits a hooking kick to the back of Walsh’s head. Walsh bumps for it by casually strolling to the apron.
After losing his balance on the top rope, Avatar settles for a slingshot pescado onto Walsh. Snow goes for a springboard moonsault, but Walsh dodges and hits a couple of swift falling clotheslines. Avatar soon hits a flying clothesline and a spinning backbreaker, then finishes with a standing moonsault and a standing frog splash for three. After the match, Avatar removes his mask. HOLY SHIT, IT’S AL SNOW!
1/4* - Oof. This was definitely not an ideal way to make a first impression. The crowd was comatose throughout the whole thing due to a combination of bad in-ring action, the odd gimmick, and Snow being thrown out there without any kind of build. Apparently, the plan was to build to Avatar’s debut via a series of vignettes, but The Fed scrapped that and, when Snow got to the building for this broadcast, he was told that he’ll be making his debut on the live show. Some of the blown moves were chalked up to Snow not being used to the WWF ring ropes, and the fact that the ropes were apparently slathered with baby oil from an earlier battle royal.
We actually don’t have anything else from RAW, but Owen Hart won that aforementioned greasy battle royal to earn an Intercontinental title shot, and Alundra Blayze won the WWF Women’s Championship back from Bertha Faye. It can only go up from here for that title!
WCW Monday Nitro
The lights go out, and we hear the bellowing of The Master from somewhere in the arena.
He says a bunch of stuff that I can’t really decipher (other than “SULLIVAN”) as the camera pans to a block of ice. Oh, geez.
We cut to “Mean” Gene Okerlund who is with The Giant and The Taskmaster. Sullivan explains that the ice block contains The Dungeon of Doom’s insurance policy, THE YETI! Or, “THE YETAY” based on the pronunciation.
The Giant promises to basically kill Hulk Hogan at Halloween Havoc and take his WCW title.
Mean Gene then brings “The star of Thunder in Paradise”, Hulk Hogan to the aisleway for a chat. Hogan goes into a promo discussing how people feel he’s boxed in by The Dungeon of Doom (including “The Yetaaaayyyyy”), but he FEARS NO EVIL, DUDE. He walked through the valley of the shadow of the Dungeon, BROTHER!
Hogan then says that he may hold on to the black gloves and the black bandana because “everybody knows what a man with a black pair of gloves on and a black rag on his head is capable of doing, dude”, then does a throat-slashing motion. Yes, Hogan said he was capable of OJ Simpson things. Holy shit, man.
Hogan threatens to tie The Giant to his bike and ride around the city until he disintegrates. Hogan accuses (The) Sting, Macho Man, and Lex Luger of being vultures, and “The Bad Guy” Hulk Hogan will beat them all! Yeah, this seems more and more like Hogan testing the waters for a heel turn because he’s even throwing top babyfaces under the bus here. Hulk comes off as an unlikeable, delusional dickhead, which isn’t entirely off-brand for him.
For this battle in the Monday Night Wars, WCW took home the win with a 2.6 rating vs. RAW's 2.2 number. RAW did NOT get that post-PPV bump, to say the least.
OCTOBER 24th
ECW Hardcore TV
ECW World Heavyweight Championship: The Sandman (c) vs. Mikey Whipwreck - This is another match from the South Philly Jam show that featured the stellar Rey vs. Psicosis match from last week. We get some of Sandman’s epic beer-and-cigarette-fueled entrance, complete with a fan falling over the guardrail.
Before we get to the match proper, “The Extreme Superstar” Steve Austin comes out and rips into The Sandman, saying he won’t wait the six weeks to recover from his injury; he’ll kick Sandman’s ass NOW!
Austin about-faces, and Sandman canes the back of his head! Sandman grabs the mic and rants, calling Austin “another Hulk Hogan wannabe”. That was enough for Austin to take Sandman down and rain punches. A bunch of the other wrestlers break up the fracas, including Konnan, who gets into a chopping match with The Sandman.
Konnan mounts Sandman, but is pulled off by everyone else, allowing Austin to again jump at Sandy! Konnan punches out some Dudleys as the ring clears out…allowing Whipwreck to hit a FrankenMikey off the top for a two-count! Oh, yeah, there’s a match.
After a commercial break, we pick it up at Mikey hurling Sandman into the railing. Mikey follows up with a slingshot somersault senton, then some chairshots and a frying pan to the brain.
Sandman soon drops Mikey sternum-first onto the railing and lands a guillotine legdrop off the apron. Sandman continues abusing Mikey with the guardrail until Mikey returns fire, dropkicking it into his face. Mikey and Sandman continue railing each other for a while (phrasing?), then they head back in for a slingshot rolling neck snap from Mikey for two. Back out, Sandman bodyslams Mikey on the concrete and suplexes the guardrail onto Mikey!
Back in, Sandman hits a top rope legdrop, then stops for a mid-match dart. Sandman looks for a piledriver, but Austin comes back out with a ladder, ramming it into Sandman’s guts! He tosses the ladder into the ring as we soon cut to Mikey ramming Sandman into the ladder, then whipping him into it for a huge bump over the ropes! Whipwreck then see-saws the ladder into Sandman’s face! That gets a VERY close two for Mikey. We cut to Sandman perched atop the ladder, looking rickety as hell.
He hits a guillotine legdrop from the ladder onto a prone Mikey for the three.
After the match, poor referee Jim Molineaux gets abused with the ladder by The Sandman. RUDE!
**1/4 - A bit repetitive in spots (mostly with the guardrail), but this was a pretty fun little title match with a couple of crazy ladder spots. Mikey gets closer and closer to upending The Sandman, but South Philly Jam wasn’t the time.
It’s time for more PULP FICTION! JT Smith is excited and accidentally punches Joey Styles while shadowboxing! The Dudleys say stuff! The Steiner Brothers threaten to kick ass! The Eliminators laugh! Tommy Dreamer promises to be too extreme, even for Terry Funk, and promises to drag the hardcore out of Cactus Jack! Beulah appears!
Cactus Jack says that Funk will make him do things he doesn’t want to do! Funk’s BACK, Cactus! Bill Alfonso, Tod Gordon, and Steve Austin say things! Sandman and Woman hang around a ladder! Mikey Whipwreck will take YOU to the extreme!
We get clips of Rey Misterio and Psicosis tearing it down last week! Konnan and Rey promise more lucha goodness at the next ECW show! Stevie Richards and Jason pick out a dress ahead of Richards’ ‘Raggedy Ass Ho’ match with Johnny Grunge, where the loser has to wear a dress! That was a real sentence I just had to type!
The Public Enemy (who just won the ECW Tag Titles back at South Philly Jam) laugh like idiots! Terry Funk hangs around with his branding iron! Cactus Jack SPITS on Funk’s memory and family! Dreamer is beyond salvation! Raven talks as Cactus Jack hugs him!
Some typically effective promo work from the usual suspects, and JT Smith socking Joey was pretty funny.
OCTOBER 25th
AJPW October Giant Series 1995 - Tag 18
Toshiaki Kawada vs. Gary Albright - The October Giant Series is Gary Albright’s first tour with All-Japan after leaving UWFi. I’ve seen people complain about the size of his arms, but I can guarantee you that those people haven’t seen him wrestle. Albright could suplex the Statue of Liberty without breaking a sweat.
The crowd is JACKED for this showdown as Kawada kicks at the leg to start, but makes the mistake of going to the mat, amateur-style. They grapple until Kawada gets a leglock, which Albright breaks via the ropes. Kawada gets some kicks and fells Albright with an enzuigiri as the commentators have a coronary. More kicks, including some to the FACE, follow, then Kawada manages a version of the Exploder. Albright halts a backdrop driver and transitions into an ankle lock, then into a leglock!
Kawada makes the ropes and fires back with some more kicks to wear down the big fella. Ganmengiri is blocked, and Albright hits a big belly-to-belly, then locks in a jujigatame! Kawada breaks via the ropes, but is considerably damaged. After Kawada returns to the ring, Albright goes for the Fujiwara armbar a couple of times, only to be thwarted. We go back into feeling out, but Kawada batters Albright’s leg with kicks and applies a legbar…but Albright immediately turns into it and starts palm-striking Kawada! Kawada ends up on top and rains down forearms of his own, then locks on an armbar that is immediately broken up in the ropes. Now Albright seeks refuge on the floor.
Kawada hits the floor to follow up, but Albright shoulders him down! Kawada recovers before Albright does, though, and lays in some more stiff kicks. Back in, Albright blocks an Exploder, but Kawada does manage a bodyslam and a kick to the back…but that only pisses off Albright!
Albright no-sells some kicks and hits another massive belly-to-belly suplex! Huge powerslam gets two, then Albright hits a brutal German suplex! Kawada gets up, but immediately turns glossy-eyed and tumbles out of the ring! Back in, Albright gets a two-count, then locks in a full nelson, which he transitions into a headlock takeover. Kawada counters into an armbar, but Albright wrestles his way into a headlock…which Kawada turns into a backdrop driver! Stretch plum from Kawada!
Albright escapes with an armdrag, then blocks a powerbomb attempt with a back body drop. Albright absorbs a clothesline, then eventually gets a brutal hammerlock on Kawada. It’s broken up via the ropes, but Albright reapplies the full nelson. However, Kawada strikes back with kicks galore! Albright goes for a jujigatame, but Kawada reverses into his own for the submission!
After the match, the Code of Honor is upheld.
****1/4 - Finally, a great match for the week; a big, meaty fight. Albright made the most of his first AJPW tour, getting very over as a monster gaijin and impressing with his suplex-heavy shoot style. Kawada knew when to fight through the pain and when to sell his ass off to make Albright look like a beast. I will never not love Kawada getting up and immediately collapsing when he’s hit with a big move.
Triple Crown Championship: Mitsuharu Misawa (c) vs. Kenta Kobashi - This is Misawa’s third defense for this reign, and it’s the first time Kobashi ever faced Misawa for the Triple Crown.
Code of Honor is upheld, and Kobashi gets the early lead with a big lariat! We get a hell of a sequence with both guys countering each others’ moves, then Kobashi soon unleashes the ORANGE CRUSH (a vertical suplex into a sitout powerbomb)! That gets two as Misawa rolls out to recover. On the floor, Kobashi hits a powerbomb on the mats! Kobashi is NOT pussyfooting around today. Back in, Kobashi unloads some chops to the back of Misawa’s neck, then hits a dragon suplex for two!
Kobashi teases a moonsault, but Misawa rolls out of the way and attempts a comeback with some elbow smashes. Kobashi fights through them and hits a couple of flurries of chops. Kobashi hits some legdrops to the back of the head, but a top-rope attempt is dodged! After Misawa collects himself, they trade chops and elbows until Kobashi hooks a jujigatame. Kobashi continues to punish the arm, but Misawa returns in kind. After Kobashi hits some chops and a DDT, Kobashi pounds away with knees until Misawa fights back with elbows. He eventually lands a back suplex and a big elbow smash, then pummels Kobashi with elbows. Many elbows! Kobashi is pissed!
They battle over a double-wristlock for a while until Misawa flip-kicks out of it. Kobashi manages a sleeperhold, but Misawa makes the ropes. Kobashi hits a HUGE half-nelson German suplex for two, then goes back to the sleeper. He works that until Misawa rolls into the ropes and onto the floor. Misawa hops onto the apron and ends up eating some chops. Backdrop suplex onto the apron is attempted, but Misawa elbows out of it. Back in, Misawa eventually hits a Tiger Driver for two.
Misawa lands a missile dropkick and a shoulderblock off the ropes to send Kobashi to the floor, where Misawa follows up with an elbow suicida! Back in, frog splash gets two, as does a Tiger Suplex. A nasty release Tiger Suplex follows for a delayed two-count as Kobashi had to recover on the floor. Rolling elbow knocks Kobashi stiff! Kobashi kicks out of multiple pin attempts off of that one. Kobashi comes back with a drop toehold and a legdrop to the back of the head, but he’s too exhausted to follow up. After dodging a hook kick, Kobashi hits a nasty German suplex for two!
Kobashi gets a huge running shoulderblock, knocking Misawa HARD into the corner. Kobashi hits a release powerbomb, but that took a lot out of him in the process. Dropkick to the back of the head gets two! Jackknife roll-up powerbomb gets two! Kobashi hits some legdrops and goes upstairs for the moonsault! It hits! Misawa kicks out! Kobashi goes for another, landing on Misawa’s back! Kobashi is too hurt to capitalize!
Misawa hits a ganmengiri, but Kobashi fires back with a couple of lariats! Kobashi hits his OWN elbow smash and lands a German…but Misawa fires up and hits an elbow! Kobashi gets up and hits a dropkick! Fighting spirit! Kobashi goes for a powerbomb, but Misawa ‘ranas out! Elbow smashes follow, including one to the back of the head! Kobashi barely kicks out! Release Tiger Suplex from Misawa, but Kobashi kicks out! Misawa hits a flurry of elbows as Kobashi is pretty much cooked.
Desperation chops from Kobashi, but Misawa clocks him with more elbows! Kobashi tries a backdrop driver, but Misawa fights out of it…but Kobashi SLAPS Misawa in the face and collapses! After withstanding one more offensive flurry from Kobashi, another elbow puts him down. Misawa unleashes the Tiger Driver ‘91 for the pin!
****1/2 - This was another fantastic match from AJPW, and a worthy chapter to one of the all-time great feuds in wrestling. I loved Kobashi’s fast and furious start, unloading some big moves (including the Orange Crush) to try to put away his mentor. He wanted to show that he could measure up to Misawa and prove his growth, but Misawa was still too high up in the pecking order. Misawa controlled Kobashi’s destiny at the end.
Things got REALLY exciting in the last 15 minutes or so as well with tremendous near-falls and incredible exchanges. The only thing that hurt this one for me was the slow middle portion. It felt a bit more sluggish than usual, and there was some pointless arm work that was forgotten about long before the bout reached its conclusion. However, these are minor nitpicks in yet another fantastic effort.
OCTOBER 28th
FMW Power Splash '95 - Night 10
Hayabusa & Mitsuhiro Matsunaga vs. W*ING Kanemura & Masato Tanaka - Matsunaga and Kanemura would be fairly well-known for their deathmatch work while Tanaka is famous for his incredible series of matches with Mike Awesome, particularly in ECW. He looks so fresh-faced here!
Kanemura and Tanada get the jump on their opponents, sending them to the outside. Matsunaga works over Tanaka in the ring, holding a leglock until Kanemura breaks it up. Tanaka comes back with a suplex and tags out. Kanemura kicks the crap out of Matsunaga, but Matsunaga returns the favor. Hayabusa checks in and works over W*ING’s arm. Hayabusa’s white gear is great. I mean, it’s no Avatar, but ‘Busa does have some considerable drip.
Hayabusa lays in some kicks, but Kanemura manages a Fujiwara armbar, then does his own beatdown of the arm. Kanemura and Tanaka take turns attacking Hayabusa’s arm with varying holds until Hayabusa gets a spinning back kick to escape and tag in Matsunaga. Kanemura soon hits some kicks on Matsunaga and tags Tanaka back in. Flying elbow smash from Tanaka, followed by a flying CHAIR smash into the corner! I was wondering how long it was going to take for some furniture to show up.
Tanaka hits a tornado DDT for two, then Kanemura introduces a barbed wire bat into the match and whacks Hayabusa with it! Kanemura and Tanaka hit a double-team legdrop with the bat onto Matsunaga, then Tanaka hits Air Sabu onto Hayabusa. Tanaka RIPS OFF HAYABUSA’S MASK, then the heels grind the barbed wire into his face!
Diving headbutt from Tanaka, but Matsunaga breaks up the pin and HE’S GOT A STAPLE GUN! Hayabusa hits a spinning heel kick and a somersault senton to the floor onto Kanemura! It’s an all-out brawl on the floor! A very bloody Hayabusa hits a slingshot senton atomico, followed by a standing moonsault onto Kanemura for two, but the baddies regain the advantage. Kanemura backdrops Tanaka onto Hayabusa, who is laying on a chair, then they both give him a spinebuster onto the chair! Everyone is busted open as Tanaka splashes Matsunaga through a table! Whoa, the table broke!
Back in, Kanemura guillotine legdrops Hayabusa, then Tanaka lands an elbow smash. Kanemura whips ‘Busa into a Tanaka lariat for a close two, then Kanemura hits a brutal sit-out powerbomb, followed by a lifting sitout spinebuster from Tanaka for two! Hayabusa intercepts a charging Tanaka with a spinning kick, then lands a spinning back kick on Kanemura. Matsunaga chokes Kanemura with the bat while Hayabusa powerbombs Tanaka for two! Tanaka fights out of a German, but can’t escape a release one! Fisherman’s buster, but Kanemura breaks up the pin with the bat! Hayabusa is ridiculously bloody.
Matsunaga powerbombs Kanemura, then the faces double-powerbomb Tanaka…but Kanemura breaks up the pin. Hayabusa hits a Falcon Arrow on Tanaka at the same time that Matsunaga hits a sit-out powerbomb on Kanemura! The Falcon Arrow gets the three!
**** - This was a ridiculously violent, bloody, chaotic brawl. The actual wrestling portion at the beginning was pretty good, actually, but this got awesome the moment Tanaka introduced the chair. Everyone bled like crazy, especially Hayabusa, nothing was overly contrived or blown, and the action was non-stop. A very well-worked garbage brawl.
WWF Superstars
Owen Hart & Yokozuna vs. Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid - Just a reminder that WWF Superstars is brought to you by KARATE FIGHTERS!
This was initially set up as a non-title match between newly-minted Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon and Yokozuna ahead of Hart’s title match with Razor on RAW, but this becomes a tag match for some reason.
It’s a four-way fight to start, with the faces getting the upper hand. After some stalling, Owen and Kid legally start the match with their typical exciting action. 1-2-3 Kid comes out on top with a monkey flip and an armdrag, but Hart soon nails a spinning heel kick and tags in Yoko. Oh, crap.
Kid feebly tries to fight Yoko, but the big guy dominates as SUPERSTARS ROLLS ON…
…and we’re back with Owen beating down on Razor, hitting a legdrop, BROTHER, for two. Owen and Yoko double-clothesline Ramon, then Yoko locks in a nerve hold for a while. Maybe this is where you should have put the commercial, guys.
Owen tags in and the heels hit the double-wishbone, then Hart works over Ramon with some European uppercuts. Razor comes back by whipping Owen into the turnbuckle sternum-first and hits the Intercontinental Title-winning back suplex, but it only gets two! Owen regains the upper hand with his enzuigiri.
A pin (with the feet on the ropes like a good heel) gets two for Owen, then we hit the chinlock as the crowd tries to will Razor back into it. Razor makes the tag…but the ref didn’t see it! That allows more nefarious double-teaming from the baddies. Yoko misses a charge, however, and it’s HOT TAG 1-2-3 KID!
Kid kicks the crap out of Owen and hits a double noggin-knocker on the heels. Spinning heel kick from Kid, but Yoko breaks up the pin! Razor fights off Yoko, but Owen hits the Kid with a BEAUTY of a belly-to-belly suplex for the three!
**1/2 - Not a bad little TV tag match, but nothing to get super-excited about, either. We really could have used a few more minutes of Owen and Kid going at it to liven things up. Yoko was in rough shape cardio-wise at this point, but Owen carried things well-enough during the heat segment, and that finishing belly-to-belly was delightful. That really should have been a secondary finisher for him.
Kid again drops the fall as the storyline of him being the weak link of the team continues.
USWA Championship Wrestling
We hear from Tracy Smothers, Jesse James Armstrong, and Downtown Bruno (Harvey Wippleman) as they promise that they will be the NEW USWA Tag Team Champions. They call out PG-13 for a title match RIGHT NOW. Randy Hales initially denies the request, but PG-13 comes out and accepts the challenge. The match is on!
USWA Tag Team Championship: PG-13 (c) vs. Tracy Smothers & Jesse James Armstrong - Smothers and JC Ice kick it off, with Ice fending off Smothers. Armstrong tags in, as does Wolfie D, and the latter has his way with the Road Dogg. Bruno hops up for the distraction as the heels double-team Wolfie. Bob Armstrong lays JC Ice out with a chair! Wolfie eats a belly-to-belly from Smothers as Jesse (and Bruno) beat down JC Ice at ringside.
Wolfie gets a cradle, but Jesse distracts the ref to prevent a pin count. The SMW contingent continue to beat down PG-13, but Wolfie continues to kick out of pin attempts. Wolfie dodges a charging Tracy, but JC Ice is still incapacitated, so Wolfie D tries to mount his own comeback. It works for a bit, but the heels are too much to overcome at the moment. The heels hit a double-team spinebuster/flying back elbow combo, but JC Ice manages to break up the pin with a hubcap behind the ref’s back! Wolfie gets back up and it’s HOT TAG JC ICE!
Ice is (ironically) A HOUSE AFIRE, punching everyone in sight. Double-dropkick from PG-13, but Smothers whacks JC Ice with his Confederate flag! Armstrong covers for the win and the titles!
**1/2 - A short, fun TV tag match here. The heels used some classic tactics to build heat and stay on top, and PG-13 were typically effective babyfaces.
You really can’t help but feel that the USWA/SMW feud is one-sided in terms of focus, though. USWA is keeping things going on their end, but you don’t see nearly as much time on SMW TV dedicated to the feud; they’re mostly just doing their own thing, as if they’ve moved on from it.
Smoky Mountain Wrestling
We start off with arena clips of Tommy Rich vs. Buddy Landel in a Chain match. Unfortunately, it’s the “touch four corners” rules, which really can hinder these types of matches. Budro is busted open, but he ends up pounding on Rich with the chain.
Buddy touches three corners, but Rich keeps him from touching the fourth. Jim Cornette comes in to attack referee Mark Curtis with his tennis racket, but Curtis ducks and socks him! Good! Buddy touches the fourth turnbuckle, but Curtis doesn’t see it! The Punisher hits Landel with a BLACKJACK! Rich touches three corners, but Landel stops him. Landel runs him into the corner while Curtis is distracted. Curtis looks at the corner and sees Rich propped against the turnbuckle, and awards the match to Rich!
Post-match, Landel tries to get more of Rich, but Cornette and The Punisher make the save, and the three of them beat down The Nature Boy.
Next, on KESSLER’S KORNER, Chip Kessler speaks with Buddy Landel about what we just saw. The fans got him a PRESENT, which Landel appreciates.
Before he can tear into it, Cornette’s Militia comes out to accost Landel and run down the fans. Cornette opens the present, and a very small wrestler pops out to assault him! He looks like of like Gau from Final Fantasy VI.
We now join Les Thatcher, who is with Buddy Landel and the mystery box lad, named “Butch Cassidy”. Landel plugs the barbed wire match coming up as Cassidy mugs for the camera.
Great promo from Buddy as usual to sell the match, but the Cassidy payoff? Bleh.
We now catch up with Robert Gibson and The Thugs ahead of tonight’s Double Chain match with The Heavenly Bodies. Smothers makes fun of Cornette for getting his ass kicked by a little guy, then promise to get their tag titles back. Dirty White Boy threatens significant mutilation against Dr. Tom Prichard.
He implies that Prichard’s father is an alcoholic and that his mother is a sex worker, then promises to stomp some brains in TONIGHT IN JOHNSONVILLE! The Bodies come out as Dr. Tom tries to goad The Thugs into the ring. Smothers and DWB appear to oblige as the camera fades to black.
Man, we got some REALLY bad stuff from the WWF, and the Butch Cassidy reveal in Smoky Mountain was a sign of the promotion circling the drain, but Japan bails the week out with some great matches. The FMW brawl is a bit of a hidden gem.
NEXT TIME: WCW Halloween Havoc! Oh, boy, that’s going to be fun. Plus, more Sandman vs. Mikey, plenty of Smoky Mountain, and MORE!
Smell ya later!